Why do some women, women who I know well enough to believe that they are not interested in being flirty or flirted with, wear outfits with nnn-minor cleavage in a business environment?
My former boss, for example, a woman in her mid-late 30’s, often wore outfits which included trophy-wife platform spike heels and significant cleavage. I never understood why she, or her boss, thought that this was appropriate business attire.
Hell, I’m gay and sometimes I couldn’t help but look. I mean, there they were, high tight and handsome. I don’t know why my eyes went there, since I have zero interest in boobs. Og only knows what the straight guys were looking at. The whole situation made me uncomfortable, but I guess men can’t complain about women’s provocative clothing.
Well, do you really want to go down the “they’re asking for it” road? Even if it’s just a small step? Really?
Guys, just keep your dicks in your pants, your eyes at appropriate head level (or at least be discreet about looking elsewhere), and get over yourselves. Jeez. If you keep blaming women for your lack of self-control, then before long there won’t be any free range boobs out there to ogle. Now, do we really want that?
Sometimes a top isn’t cleavage-y “by default”, meaning when you put it on and most of the time, it doesn’t show cleavage. But by moving around over the course of the day, they can shift around or pull/get pulled in ways that then mean more is on display than intended. This also results in feeling awkward and self-conscious and constantly adjusting through the day, so someone calling attention to it makes it worse.
For bustier women, * many* shirts will be more revealing than they were intended to be. Misses clothing still is cut with a B cup as the standard, even though the average breast size in the USA is 34DD (and trying to discount that by talking about how fat Americans have gotten completely misses the point - it’s still a fact that most women have breasts significantly larger than our clothing is cut for).
Connected to the previous point, it’s completely possible for busty women to have two main options (depending on what’s on the racks at any point in time): Shirts that aren’t revealing for smaller busted women but do reveal bit for them, or high-necked styles that often make your chest look very matronly or (ironically) make your boobs look even larger because of the vast expanse of fabric going across them.
(A bit of a tangent away from cleavage specifically, but still about “appropriate” clothing: Often the “problem” is literally having larger breasts. The fact you have two lumps protruding means some people will find your clothing inappropriate/unprofessional, even if there is no hint of cleavage).
One of my musings: Women tend to be shorter than men, on average. When we get dressed, we look in the mirror to check everything out, which means at our height. But something that doesn’t show anything at, say, 5’3" might be more revealing when someone 6’ is looking down.
There is a difference between appreciating * and staring. I am not bothered by a guy who glances (even slightly lingering) or even does a quick double-take walking by. I AM bothered by staring, movements specifically to keep my chest in your line of sight longer, blatant evaluation (elevator eyes, ugh) or saying anything.
My manager at my last (corporate!) job did these things to me and many others. Ugh.
I was responding to Zeldar’s post about unwanted touching of women, as it was a real-world incident of sexual assault. The blind man thing was fictitious sexual assault.
He’d probably be delighted. Which, as has been pointed out before, just points to one way in which the Golden Rule fails. Men and women are different, and what’s welcome behavior from (most) women to (most) men, is not going to be welcome the other way around.
What, are you trying to completely kill off our fantasies!? That’s really a step too far, because I assure you, we don’t steal even quick, discrete glances of our familiar females’ goods. That’s what novel, unfamiliar stranger cleavage is for!
I have known some really attractive women (all over, not just the bust) whom I found difficult to converse with, without giving the impression that I was staring at her. And once my sister, then 18, appeared in front of me in a bikini; I must have blushed crimson. :o
In other words, you want your actions to be free of consequences that you don’t like. Sorry, but that’s not how the world works. You don’t get to pick and choose the consequences of your actions.
Anything that is put on public display is fair game to be commented on. If it’s appropriate to show cleavage in the first place, then it’s appropriate for men to mention said cleavage. You can’t have it both ways.
There is an astonishing number of women who are hypocrites–they think that they should be able to show all kinds of leg and cleavage in public, but not have any reaction from men.
if women would start using it as a cup holder then you would free up a hand and the people who looked at you would do so in admiration for your inventiveness.
I’m guessing some women might show it in case some 22 year old guy with 6-pack abs and a face like a Rock Star comes by.
I’m guessing some of those same women get pissed because they are tired of all those horrible scrubs they seem to have to constantly deal with until the guy described above comes by.
So, do your sit-ups, take care of your face, and be 22. Easy.
And if she makes the pissy-face that you’re not who she was looking for, remember:
Its rude to laugh, throw back your head and say to nobody in particular, “THANK YOU…!”