I know you didn’t make it up; some other special snowflake did.
I know heterosexuality and “demisexuality” aren’t mutually exclusive, I just don’t think demisexuality is a real thing at all. It’s no different than things I’m only attracted to that certainly don’t need their own special term.
As for the biology thing, like I said, I wouldn’t say anything about that on its own. It just seems to me like transsexual would be its own entire category loosely encompassing gender AND sexual orientation, but I can accept that I could be wrong about that. In some cases. But not like if you’re a transsexual female and only like transsexual males or something. I mean at some point it’s just like come on. (And I still don’t have an actual problem with it, but it’s a huge stretch to call it “heterosexual”.)
The “special snowflake” who coined the term did so because there was a need for it. Why? Because there were enough “special snowflakes” just like that person that a word was needed for it!
Why isn’t demisexuality a thing? What invalidates it?
It is not a stretch to call attraction to trans men heterosexual if you’re a woman. Trans men are men just like any other, except for some birth defects. They’re no less men than any other man who loses their penis for whatever reason. I linked to an article discussing why that is in the other thread. And yes, I would prefer to be with a transman than a cis guy. Why? Because I want someone who’s gone through the same shit as me, who I can have a mutual unspoken understanding with that’s near impossible with a cis person. Can you understand why I’d want that, or do you have a problem with that too?
I just said. Not every single attraction needs a special term. We’re all only attracted to a certain types of people, and under certain circumstances (and OMG if anyone tells me I’m wrong and that they may be attracted to any type of person in the world, I will come through the computer and punch you in the face). A few of those categories are so encompassing that it’s useful to have a special term for it. “I only feel like boning people I feel close to” is not one of them. That’s pretty much the case for me actually. Well, sort of. So I guess I’d be a semidemisexual.
I can understand that. It does seem like a stretch to call it heterosexual though.
This has a term because the community in which it was coined saw a need for it. I learned it on an asexuality forum, early in transition when as far as I’d known my entire life I was completely asexual (but heteroromantic - aka, liked men romantically but didn’t want to have sex with them).
Demisexuality isn’t just “I only feel like boning people I feel close to”, it’s asexuality with extremely rare exceptions. I’ve only ever been attracted to one person in my entire life (he was cis, by the way) and it was because I was in love. I’d never been interested in naked people, porn, fantasising about anyone, masturbation or the idea of sex, I thought it was disgusting. I still do, except with him. That’s why we have a word for it, because among the asexual community enough people experienced that condition (near-complete, but not quite) asexuality that it needed a separate name, to distinguish from 100% asexuality.
I tend not to explain what a word means even if I know it’s niche because it seems presumptuous to assume people don’t know it, can’t infer from context (which granted you couldn’t in this case) or can’t google it for themeselves if they choose. I wasn’t using it in some kind of attempt to browbeat people into learning it and including it with hetero/homo/bisexual, I was using it because it described what I am and why I voted the way I did, and left it up to the reader to decide whether they cared enough to google it. If you don’t like the word, you don’t have to use it! But complaining that I used it, or that it’s for “special snowflakes” even after googling and finding out that it’s not some word I made up to sound special is incredibly petty and ignorant.
I’ve explained why it’s not a stretch, if you still don’t agree there’s not much I can do about it.