[QUOTE=Dangerosa]
Anyone with a fifteen month old that needs to feed in Starbucks has an issue, though.
[QUOTE]
Why does she have an “issue”? Really, who gets to decide where the line is drawn? Why should it matter if the child is 2 weeks or 2? If you want to breastfeed, breastfeed. Only the mother should get to make the determination of where and when to feed her child. It’s her kid. It’s her breast.
catsix,
I’m uncomfortable when the “baby” crosses the line into “toddler” And the reason isn’t I don’t think toddlers shouldn’t breastfeed. I have a number of girlfriends who breastfed their toddlers and I’m fine with it. And I was fine watching a close personal friend breastfeed a toddler.
My issue has more to do with boundries. A baby is a demand feeder. A toddler doesn’t need to be. Therefore I think that its reasonable that society allow a demand feeder to feed in public - even if it causes some discomfort in others. This is because its best for socieity if our babies (and their mommies) and healthy well adjusted little critters who don’t scream for twenty minutes in Starbucks. A toddler, however, can understand words like “no” and “wait” and can have something other than breastmilk from the breast easily subsituted. Therefore, a mother’s right to breastfeed doesn’t override the other patrons right not to be uncomfortable. Toddlers, in my experience, are also much harder to breastfeed discretely. Toddlers latch and unlatch, they are bigger and bulkier on laps, they are harder to keep covered with a blanket. Some breastfeeding moms take on demand feeding to extremes - where the breast becomes something akin to the potato chip bowl at a party - wander over for a snack and move on.
Huh? I don’t understand what you mean by the blanket barrier. Honestly, I always found that all the blankets and such was just more of an invitation for people to look at you puzzled like “what’s going on under there?”.
And for those who thought that in the article, the mother that staged the nurse-in was saying that she would be uncomfortable, the mother was talking about her daughter, not herself personally. And I can attest to that, my son would’ve never gone for the blanket being over him because to him, the only time we put blankets over his head would be to play peek-a-boo.
And also, as someone who’s “been there and done that”, I can tell you that there is still a real stigma out there about breastfeeding - that it’s “dirty” or “weird”. Coupled with the fact that it surprisingly does not come naturally and the first few weeks are a real challenge in regards to getting proper latch, making sure the baby is getting enough, sore nipples, etc, instead of being looked upon with such derision, these women should be applauded and I do understand the need for nurse-ins like this which will hopefully change some attitudes about it.
I’m not getting this “exposed breast” thing either or “be discreet”. Do you know what a nursing baby looks like and how much actual boob is exposed? There’s nothing to see! Example:
trishka
Because at some point, manners overcome the need to feed. And that point is when a baby stops requiring demand feeding.
Sometimes my butt is really itchy. I have every right to reach right up in the crack and scratch it…but - as a well mannered adult - I try and wait until I’m someplace a little more private before I indulge in butt scratching. If I think I should be able to scratch in public, simply because I want to - I have an issue.
There is no reason a breastfeeding mom can’t plan feedings to not be in a place like McDonalds or Starbucks when a toddler gets hungry - that is a difficult thing to do with a baby. McDonalds and Starbucks aren’t places where you should be spending hours with a toddler - but an infant can need feeding in a twenty minute stop. There is no reason a toddler can’t be sated with a snack or a sippy cup of water, juice or breastmilk - that isn’t a good option for many breastfed babies.
Maybe on a long car trip - you’d have a need to feed a toddler in a more public place - but the need has to override the consideration of others.
I had in mind to do a search for the brouhaha about Jacko covering the head and face of his baby (apart from dangling the infant over the balcony rail) to see if someone who as disturbed over that was advocating covering a breast feeding baby in public. But the search hamsters are on a coffee break and it was surely an impulse that was too good be be true. Anyway…
Isn’t it appaling that all people are naked under their clothes. Surely something must be done.
Dangerosa, I’m glad in an above post you did say that it’s “your” issue about nursing a toddler. Because,yeah, it is your issue/hang up and one you should just get over.
My question to you is “why?”. Why should a mother have to plan her child’s feedings not to be in a public place? Just because you have set an arbitrary age limit to when you think it is acceptable to nurse a child in public?
I understand that small infant are indeed demand feeders but also know that the older the child gets, the more effecient he is at draining the breast. I could nurse my 15th month old in about 5 minutes flat. That would’ve taken 20 minutes or so when he was a newborn.
Well, God forbid anyone see a breast.
I’m not saying that this is your ideaology, but your quote is typical to what a lot of people think.
It’s not evil. It’s not sexy. IT’S A BREAST feeding a child. It’s just that. It’s what they were meant to do.
Some people act like breastfeeding is taking off your shirt and bra, letting the boobs hang out (whump, whump) on the table, then standing up and anouncing to the world “Hey, look at my tits as I feed!”.
WTF? I have never seen a mom nurse indiscretely in public.
The sooner people get over this, the better.
Damn! where do you get coffee that good!
If she claims that she’s a conflict resolution trainer, then how long would you think she would remain employed as one if she’s creating conflicts herself?
Was my attempt at humor that lame? 
I think part of it is a question of age, too.
I remember a 4 year old being “interviewed” for kindergarten at my mom’s school. I was doing some work with my music supplies in the JK room when this mom was there talking to the teacher about the upcoming schoolyear and about the child. Other parents were there, kids were running around… this kid comes up to the mom and says “Mama, hungry!” flops onto her lap, and she happily nurses him. The teacher was… stunned. The mom then said she believed in self-weening.
The teacher asked if the mom planned to come to school every day and hang around in case the kid needed a drink.
The mom actually said yes.
The teacher recommended they wait a year before starting school with the kid in question. (Just like kids who aren’t toilet trained in time, Ontario schools won’t take them on in their Junior Kindergarten program. We have two years of kindergarten before grade one, but only grade one on is required by the province.)
Ayee.
ALL THAT SAID - I’m all for women having the right to breast feed junior in public. There are modesty notions that I appreciate, but then again, I don’t just sit there and stare…
Hell, I even had a mom here (with her four daughters - three of whom take lessons with me in music) with her youngest and was breast feeding her during piano lessons… never noticed until the very end when I realised I couldn’t “see the baby” 
However you are on private property. Some resturaunts have a dress code, no tie no admission. I have T-Shirts that would get me kicked out of places. Where is the line between the establishments rights vs. the customers?
Sounds like a major lunch-loser to me.
These particular laws seem to have been considered on a ‘greatest good’ sort of basis. The need for nursing mothers to be able to function as normal members of society outweighs the prudishness of those who find feeding babies to be nasty. A large part of the initiative is to protect the growing popularity of breastfeeding. Imagine you were a new mother considering whether to breastfeed or bottle feed. What effect would the knowledge that you would could be treated like a leper in public places have on your decision?
I forgot to mention that in the case of the Maryland law, it only applies to public places (ex. courthouses) and not private establishments. So, this mother’s campaign and nurse-in were not over the top since the Maryland law does not apply to a Starbucks aka private establishment.
Breastfeeding a 15 month old? Isn’t that a bit late in the child’s development to still be breastfeeding?
You know sometimes nursing mothers don’t always have a choice about whether they lactate or not. I assume that those of you who are opposed to public breast feeding had rather see a stain spread slowly across the front of her dress.
Those of you who have compared breast feeding with the nastiness and smelliness of farts, toenail clipping and belching might want to ask yourself if this is a healthy psychological response. :dubious:
The irony is that the cream in the latte came from a cow’s tit.
(Much more appetizing to think about, no?)
Right on!
Another side of this is the stir crazy factor. Have a heart folks! Any mother, working or not, deserves to be able to go out in public from time to time. Those of you expressing your hangups should consider staying at home all day long everyday for even a month at a stretch with the demands of a frequently hungry child. You’ll see the issue in a whole new light.
Sure, I’m a man, and I love breasts for the alternative qualities, but that appreciation goes off like a light switch when the breast is used for feeding. Therefore I have no reason to view such an activity for more than a glance. I’m cool with it. Breast feeding is healthy for both Mom and Child.
But then I regard motherhood with a certain reverence and respect.
I’m over it, follow my lead.
Hmm, until now, most people were claiming that public breast feeding was necessary because infants are demand-feeders. OK. Feeding the infant is one thing. But now, you’re saying that some women have to breastfeed right then and there just because they’re lactating? If that’s really the issue, that she’s slowly staining her dress, she really does need to take care of that in private.
Otherwise, if I suffer a sudden bout of anal leakage, I should just clean myself up in public too, right?
Bottom line, if one is leaking bodily fluids in public, one removes himself, posthaste, to take of the issue in private.
Count me in with the “get over it” crowd. There really isn’t much more that I can add as everything that should have been said has been said. TBTC, as a Starbucks partner, as much as I’d like to think that my employer is going to change the world with its current progressive policies, I don’t think a “breastfeeding policy” is one I’d like to see. We already have policies in place that should cover this instance and I don’t expect corporate to start listing specifics. Our mission statement, which every partner – including the lowliest – is (or should be) drilled on, includes the guiding principle that we treat people with respect and dignity. That should be enough.
OTOH, it’s up to the management to hire/promote people with good judgment to managerial positions. Further, managers need to inspire good judgment in their partners as well as encourage them to know and act in accordance with our corporate mission. That’s not always the case and there have already been instances of poor judgment getting this company in trouble (as with just about every other company). But this definitely isn’t a corporate-wide problem and trying to make it one is just a publicity stunt.
INMO, the partner who suggested that the nursing mother go to the bathroom to nurse failed to honor that guiding principle. At the same time, I think it can be a difficult call when one customer is complaining about another. He/she probably should have consulted their manager. If this ever happens to me in future, I now know how I would handle it. I would likely tell the complaining customer that while I respect their right to be offended, for me to pursue the matter with nursing mother, my actions could be seen as disrespectful of the mother and an assault on her dignity to relegate her to the bathroom to do feed her child or suggest that she change her style of feeding. That, of course, would be incongruent with our corporate mission. Why should allow one customer to browbeat me into alienating another? There is nothing disrespectful in saying, “I understand you’re uncomfortable with this, but I can’t help you.”
Or I could try to make light of it and say, “We serve milk products. She serves milk products. Ironic, huh? May I suggest a New York Times to distract you from the sheer audacity of that?” Translation: Lighten up and stop worrying about what other people are doing!
All that being said, Ms. Conflict-Resolution-By-Way-of-Making-Your-Company-Look-Bad-So-I-Can-Feel-Oh-So-Righteous needs to lighten up too.