I know that this point has been made before, but it is worth repeating. The examples that you cite are just not analogous to breastfeeding. As they relate to human beings, the topics of blood, tumors or maggots are strongly associated with either injury, death or some disease process. It strikes me as a bit weird to claim that this is analogous to a mother feeding her child.
[QUOTE=Chotii]
She’s not going to let me put a blanket over her head. She’ll pull it down as many times as I put it up. This would be far more likely to draw attention than simply rucking up the hem of my t-shirt and popping her on.
QUOTE]
First, thank you so much for your great explanation of why nursing a 15 month old is not “weird”. Sheesh, if this thread has pointed out anything to me, it’s that there is still a tremendous amount of ignorance out there about breastfeeding. And ironically enough, right here on a board that is supposedly all about “fighting ignorance”!
And I think you and I breastfed the same child because there was no way my son was going to deal with a blanket over his head. Forget that!
[QUOTE=Chotii]
She’s not going to let me put a blanket over her head. She’ll pull it down as many times as I put it up. This would be far more likely to draw attention than simply rucking up the hem of my t-shirt and popping her on.
[QUOTE]
First, thank you so much for your great explanation of why nursing a 15 month old is not “weird”. Sheesh, if this thread has pointed out anything to me, it’s that there is still a tremendous amount of ignorance out there about breastfeeding. And ironically enough, right here on a board that is supposedly all about “fighting ignorance”!
And I think you and I breastfed the same child because there was no way my son was going to deal with a blanket over his head. Forget that!
Whoa! Isn’t there a 2-click rule about posting sexually explicit images? You, madam, have offended my prudish sensibilities. Thank god no children were around to see those images! Why I can’t believe that the Government would allow such filth on the Internet!
Naturally, I am kidding. That said, in spite of my contempt for the prudish attitude surrounding this issue I will say that I think that the woman that the OP is taking to task is being a bit jerkish. It seems to me that she made her point and won her particular battle and is now taking it upon herself to politicize the issue. While I agree with her in principal, I also hold in contempt anyone that takes it upon themselves to impose their views on others.
- I don’t know why I tidied the URLs like that. I think I need help.
Dangerosa, let me make sure I get this straight… a woman nursing a 15 month old in public is being “inconsiderate” and “mothers who don’t plan their child’s feeding around a trip to Starbucks” are ill mannered?
Let me make sure I understand this…a nursing mother’s first and foremost concern should be with your feelings and what you have deemed polite and well-mannered? It should not be to put her own child’s needs first because, as you’ve pointed out, a 15 month old better learn that he isn’t always going to get what he wants.
Why should I have to teach my child that, just because you might be uncomfortable with a woman nursing in public a 15 month old, he can’t have access to the thing that gives him comfort and sustenance? Yes, you are right, infants are demand feeders but toddlers also have a desire to nurse because they fell down and hurt themselves, they’re scared, they’re tired…it is their comfort and their security. I’m not going to deny my baby (and yes, a 15 month old is most definitely still a baby) his source of food, comfort and safety just because there might be someone sitting near us who has a hang up about it. Does that make me ill mannered, rude or impolite? I would like to think it makes me a good mom who takes care of my child and his needs.
trishka, you’re right that this is a board about fighting ignorance. So educating each other is what we’re supposed to be doing, right? Not everyone can know everything about breast feeding.
That said, please excuse another ignorant question, but I have one about this:
[QUOTE=trishka
*Why should I have to teach my child that, just because you might be uncomfortable with a woman nursing in public a 15 month old, he can’t have access to the thing that gives him comfort and sustenance? Yes, you are right, infants are demand feeders but toddlers also have a desire to nurse because they fell down and hurt themselves, they’re scared, they’re tired…it is their comfort and their security. I’m not going to deny my baby (and yes, a 15 month old is most definitely still a baby) his source of food, comfort and safety just because there might be someone sitting near us who has a hang up about it. Does that make me ill mannered, rude or impolite? I would like to think it makes me a good mom who takes care of my child and his needs.[/QUOTE]
*
Is it a good idea to teach a child that eating is the proper response to every sensation and emotion?
My wife and I are big breatfeeding advocates, she has breastfed in public and hasn’t had any issues.
I will say however that I believe a company has a right to determine whether or not breastfeeding is allowed on its property.
If I knew that an establishment had an explicit no-breastfeeding policy I would cease to give it my business.
Even without using a blanket to hide under, you’re not going to be seeing her breast when she’s feeding. It just doesn’t happen - have you looked at the links that a couple people posted that had pictures of babies being breastfed? I’ve seen women breastfeed in public and see no more of her breast than if she were wearing a low cut top and push up bra.
Good for you, but not everyone has that issue. It’s not like women are standing on table tops with a breast out squirting passers-by with milk.
Jeez, you people need to get over yourselves. I don’t have children, don’t want children, and frankly, most of the time, don’t even like children, but even I don’t give a rat’s ass where, when, or how someone else decides to feed her child. As someone else pointed out, I’d be plenty pissed standing around in line at Starbuck’s while some baby was screaming it’s head off because some people’s delicate sensibilities couldn’t deal with the child being fed in public.
Well, many others do feel this way. Some of them have spoken up here, and I have a feeling others hold their tongue because it’s “non-PC” to think breastfeeding in certain public areas is inappropriate. And there are so many mommy-types here that it’s dangerous territory to disagree with them, or else they tend to swarm.
The vast majority of nursing mothers are discreet and considerate and modest about their breast feeding, and I appreciate that. I believe most women would rather avoid whipping out their boobs in public if they could avoid it.
There is a time and place for everything. I don’t mind seeing people in skimpy clothing if I am out clubbing, for example. On the other hand, I don’t think skimpy clothing is appropriate for a place like, say, Starbucks. Current fashions? No, I don’t like them. Those teeny-tiny short skirts that come just an inch past your crotch are not appropriate for many public areas. Same with the ultra-low hip-huggers and bare midriffs. OK for a club or party, but not OK for, say, Starbucks. Just my opinion.
Nordic, it’s not so much that I would expect everyone here to know all the ins and outs of nursing, it’s more the “ewww! that’s gross!” kind of tone that has come across in many of the posts and also the constant comparisons of breastfeeding to things like anal leakage, picking noses, picking ass cracks, etc.
Bizarre and truly ignorant.
And even the “cover up” and “be discreet” comments were a bit unnerving to me, hence why I posted links to pictures of actual women actually nursing to show the more prudish members here that there’s really nothing to get their knickers in a twist over.
To answer you question about is it a good idea to teach a child that eating is the proper response to every sensation and emotion, I would say that I don’t see it that way. My baby doesn’t just think of my boobs as a “snack bar”, he also thinks of them as a source of comfort and love. And it’s not the eating part of it that matters so much as the suckling and the closeness to mom. If you’re asking if he’s going to grow up and suck down twinkies because he got his heart broken, it could happen but I don’t think my demand nursing him when he was a baby will have anything to do with it. If anything, “they” say that babies who have their basic needs and desires taken care of from a very young age grown up to be more secure toddlers and preschoolers.
In that case, why not just give the baby a pacifier?
[QUOTE=nyctea scandiaca]
Well, many others do feel this way. Some of them have spoken up here, and I have a feeling others hold their tongue because it’s “non-PC” to think breastfeeding in certain public areas is inappropriate. And there are so many mommy-types here that it’s dangerous territory to disagree with them, or else they tend to swarm.
nyctea scandiaca, I do hope you’ve noticed that many of the people here who’ve posted in support of mothers who breastfeed in public have been men. By “mommy-types”, I assume you actually mean “nursing mothers” and while I disagree with you that we are “swarming”, I would say that in situtations like this where we are describing “real world” scenarios, sometimes it’s a good thing to hear from the “been there, done that” camp.
It’s not that it’s “non PC” to think that breastfeeding in public is inappropriate. It’s that it’s ignorant and misinformed and isn’t that what this board is supposed to be fighting?
And there are some women who should take lessons from them. I remember one woman describing breast feeding her kid at a fast food restaurant by saying that she covered the table with a blanket, laid the kid on the blanket, and took out her breast to feed the kid.
Do you not think there are any women who show no discretion about their surroundings when breast feeding?
I have been thinking about it and I just want to clarify my position a bit.
Inspired by this thread: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=270974…
In general, I am all for giving people the freedom to do whatever they want as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else. I think pot should be legal and gay marriage should be legal, etc.
I think it should be legal for women to breastfeed anywhere they want. I think they have the right to breastfeed anywhere they want. However, I’m just really not a big fan of seeing it in a place like Starbucks. It doesn’t hurt me in any way, though, it’s just awkward and not the most appropriate venue to do it, that’s all I am saying.
Personally, if I were breastfeeding, I would try to do it in private if I could. I would not want to expose my breast in public even for a nanosecond. That’s just me. I also think many women feel the same way. If they could avoid it, they would. And most women I have seen breastfeeding have been discreet and polite about it. So in general, I don’t have much of an issue with it.
I just started this thread because I thought the author of the editorial had some good points. Yeah, maybe she is going a little overboard over a small thing, but most people have a silly pet peeve.
I think the point is that, in “polite society,” we try to do certain things in private, if possible. This includes various bodily functions and personal grooming, etc. Usually, bodily functions that involve the excretion of bodily fluids are done in private. If I need to blow my nose, I would try to do it in the bathroom, for example. Breast feeding, IMO, is a bodily function that 1) involves the exposing of a body part which is usually covered and 2) involves the excretion of bodily fluids.
This opinion doesn’t mean I am ignorant or a bad person. It just means I agree with Miss Manners that it is an etiquitte thing.
I have to teach my children all sorts of things about consideration of others when it comes to their needs. I have to teach them that just because they have to go potty, if there is a line, they need to wait. (Granted, a dancing two year old is often given front of the line privledges). I have to teach them that just because they feel a need to express their emotions, the checkout line in Target is not the place for a tantrum because I said “no candy.” I have to teach my kids that just because they are more comfortable buck naked, does not mean that is appropriate dress for the front yard. That just because their blankey gives them comfort and security does not mean that it belongs at the dinner table. That just because they want to bite their friends, doesn’t mean its a good idea. That they don’t have to eat the food in front of them, but they do need to sit through dinner and ask to be excused and not make “icccckkkkky” sounds (mine are now a little older - four and five).
I think by fifteen months, your child should have or start developing other resources for comfort and security than you and your breasts. That a child who is fed for security at fifteen months is being set up for food issues later in life (regardless of whether it is nursing or a cookie), and that a fifteen month old should be able to get comfort and security from a cuddle just as well as nursing.
Jeff, my son would never take a paci. He would give me this look like “why are you sticking this piece of plastic in my mouth, you freak?” and immediately fling it out with his tongue.
I totally agree. You sound like a really smart mom, Dangerosa. 
Catsix, I’m sure that there are lots of women who whip it out and do their thang. Whatever, I say. :rolleyes: They’re using them for what nature and god intended and more power to 'em. I’d much rather see a woman use her tits to nurse her baby than to hawk beer.
I’d rather not see tits at all! 
But I do agree with your sentiment…
I’d rather some attempt at general modesty be made than someone laying a tit on a table and then bitching that other people are insensitive.