Women who bring stuffed animals to work

[catsix]

I have one stuffed animal on my desk, but it’s not the only toy on my desk. I’ve got a stuffed dolphin, a Mike Wazowski, a mini beach ball, a snow globe, a Terrible Towel, a Nerf ball, a lump of coal made out of foam (looks real enough to fool people, too) and a Pez dispenser.

I’m a software engineer. Having toys in your cube is part of the gig. Everybody has toys. Everybody decorates. Everybody plays with toys. It’s what we do when things are frustrating. We throw stuff, have rubber band fights, or go play foosball (yes, we have a foosball table in the office) until we feel better. It’s just the expected thing in an office full of geeks.

We’re also an HR nightmare and very, very glad that the HR department is hundreds of miles away.

[Rubystreak]

@Missy2U

No, Kal - her.

Her boyfriend didn’t get her a Christmas present.

And she justified not getting him one because she didn’t have a job and that was OK. Guess she got a fantastic job since Xmas. Good for her.

I have only the one stuffed animal. A student gave me a moose, so I stuck his head through my file organizer. He looks like he’s in the stocks for bad behavior.

Anyone else think the “I hate my gender” bit was way over the top and rather revelatory of the OP’s attitude?

[Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew]

@Anaamika

What happens if you have all of the following decorations on your desk:

A cut stuffed duck

Probably the beanies leak out. You should sew it up.

[Count_Blucher]

I can’t say ‘boo’ about what people have on their desks. That might be because I’ve accumulated over the years 2-inch versions of ‘Robocop’, ‘Warmachine’, ‘Godzilla’, ‘Mr. Incredible’, the NX-01, NCC-1701, and NCC-1701-A. Then there’s the spinning holographic disk, the pen held vertically upright by magnetism, the frisbee, the magnifying glass, the clock with 60 cities and their time-zones, the soccer ball, …

(Say, do I have to count the touristy stuff people hand out after vacations?)

[IvoryTowerDenizen]

@crazyjoe

I’m confused. You’re a highly paid executive assistant now? Weren’t you a broke college student in the thread where your boyfriend didn’t give you a present?

Well, to be precise, she said she was a “recent college grad” (underlining mine)

Of course, you are a rich manhattan bachelor, slightly older than me, and I’m a poor, temping, recent college grad. “Don’t you dare spend anything on me,” you said, "

not that I have bone in this argument…

[SkeptiJess]

@IvoryTowerDenizen

I have always found it interesting that the things that are stereotypically female (unicorns, teddy bears) become *by definition * babyish and unprofessional while masculine associated items (dinosaurs and gorillas) are ok. … I am all for ecouraging girls and women to reach for anything they want, but am frsutrated at the often automatic devaluing of female associated stuff.

I think IvoryTowerDenizon makes an excellent point here. It’s similar to the way many women – even highly-accomplished professional women hate to be called ‘ma’am.’ You never hear a man complaining about being called ‘sir,’ but there is a ton of hate out there for the female equivalent. Frustrating.

[Robot_Arm]

@Idlewild

I have a ximian monkey. Actually it’s just a lousy little beanie monkey with a ximian t-shirt but hey, it’s dotcom era nostalgia. I’m awfully proud of my ximian monkey.

That’s Rupert.

[Sarahfeena]

@Jess

I think IvoryTowerDenizon makes an excellent point here. It’s similar to the way many women – even highly-accomplished professional women hate to be called ‘ma’am.’ You never hear a man complaining about being called ‘sir,’ but there is a ton of hate out there for the female equivalent. Frustrating.

I agree with you guys, as well. I don’t see anything inherently more babyish about a toy teddy bear than a toy dinosaur. Maybe it’s a little more stereotypically “girly” than “boyish,” but what’s wrong with that? Just because men & women are different and may like different things doesn’t make one better than the other…it’s just different.

[Faruiza]

I don’t know. I don’t have any cutesy stuff on my desk, but I’m not like that in my personal life, either. Neither am I stern and without whimsy. I’m somewhere in between. I got a mental picture fromt he OP, though, that makes me need to say that there has to be a friggin’ limit. I, too, dislike the middle aged ninnies that think that cramming their cube with dimestore stuffies and multiple calendars with kitten pics and a poster or two with a cutesy picture that says, “Hang in there!” is the height of what makes people loveable. Sometimes people become walking glurge. Same women who wear holiday themed sweatshirts with a lot of glitter and garish color. It makes me think of Cathy and Kathie from Kids in the Hall.
It sort of signifies that your world is pretty small and you have a simple mind. That’s all. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I guess. I just don’t get being happy like that. Toys, on the other hand, are great! INTERESTING things are a requisite, and anyone who can pull off having an interesting work space and not just some jungle of crap has talent. I guess some people think that multiple stuffed pandas holding hearts that say, “I love you.” that someone got out of the claw machine at the grocery store is interesting…

[Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor]

I never brought anthing to work that I didn’t mind getting stolen.

[Girl_Next_Door]

@nongoog

… I hate my gender! That is all.

The meat of the message was at the very end.

[Guinastasia]

So did her boyfriend happen to buy her a stuffed animal for Valentines Day, and this is her reaction?

[Jodi]

I’m having a conflicted reaction to this.

On the one hand, I agree that cubes that are festooned with Country Kitchen tchotkes, stuffed animals, kitten calendars, and frou-frous do not convey an air of perfect professionalism. Any time you have to move the potpourri basket to reach a file, there’s just too much stuff. So I don’t disagree that the personalizing of workspaces can be taken too far, and overdoing it in a particularly twee direction is not my personal taste either.

That said, a few things:

First, you do your gender a disservice to judge these women so harshly based on how their cubes look – or how they dress, or what they weigh, or any other appearance-based criteria. Your crisp professionalism with dark suit and severely neat cube will not matter much if they can do their jobs calmly, professionally, and efficiently, and you can’t. Especially if you are young (as I suspect) and new (as I gather) you would be better served learning how to do your job efficiently and effectively than by shitting on your coworkers for having tastes that you don’t share. They might have a thing or two to teach you, if you think you can swallow your contempt long enough to learn it.

Second, you should never corrolate your own personal advancement with (a) keeping someone down; or (b) someone keeping you down. These women are not making sweeping statements about womanhood that you have to apply to yourself; if you want to set yourself apart from them by acting differently (IYO, better) and keeping a different (IYO, better) workplace then go ahead. But you can’t raise yourself up by putting them down; you have to do it on your own merits. And they are not keeping you down with their crops of teddy bears, so expect to rise or fall on your own worth and stop blaming other people.

Third, if you are new and young, and these women have been there a while, you had better tread carefully in how interact with them. If the head admin has 65 teddy bears on her desk, but has been there for 25 years and can reconcile a spreadsheet in 20 minutes, you’d better do your best to get and stay on her good side. IOW, you treat these women as infantile toy collectors at your own professional peril.

I’ve worked as a woman in a male-dominated profession for 15 years now. I have never seen a woman succeed by shitting on the women around here – but I’ve seen a lot of times where the women around her have made her pay for it. So keep your contempt to yourself, do your job, succeed on your own merits, and spend a little less time worrying about things that are none of your business and don’t affect you, like how other people decorate their cubes.

[Rubystreak]

Excellent and true post, Jodi. You said everything that needed to be said.

[alice_in_wonderland]

As usual Jodi you are the calm voice of reason. I have a small girl-crush on you. I’ll try not to gush.

[Idlewild]

@Robot Arm

That’s Rupert.

He has a name? I’m astounded. I will have to have a little chat with him tomorrow! I used to have two, I think the other one wandered off with an ex-coworker a long time ago.

[nongoog]

@Rubystreak

And she justified not getting him one because she didn’t have a job and that was OK. Guess she got a fantastic job since Xmas. Good for her.

Yes, this is a brand spanking new job for me, the only job I’ve ever had for which I’m not grossly, ridiculous overqualified (even though I am, only less so, but whatever) and I’m trying my damnedest to demonstrate my capability, professionalism, intelligence, etc. etc. etc.

After looking for MONTHS for a full-time job, and suffering through dumbass temping stint after temping stint, I take this position of mine very, very seriously and, accordingly, I am not planning on bringing toys into my cubicle any time soon.

Hope that clears up the “penniless college grad” confusion.

[Angel_of_the_Lord]

The only thing I have on my desk is the Secret Spells Barbie that Shadez gave me for my college graduation. I have it in the same pose as the Magician in the Rider-Waite tarot set.

Exactly one person has gotten it in exactly three years at my company. They thought it was hilarious. Everyone else just thinks it’s a barbie. Either way, it makes my desk look a little more human, so it stays.

[Rubystreak]

@nongoog

Hope that clears up the “penniless college grad” confusion.

I’m glad you got a job. I hope you will go easier on the female gender, though, and don’t treat your co-workers with contempt and derision over this issue of stuffed animals. Don’t fall into that trap of hating other women and judging them over superficial shit like this. It makes working life much harder and isn’t necessary.

I agree that it’s kind of tacky to have a billion tchotckes all over your workspace, but hey, what’s it to you? Esp. if the woman is nice to you and good at her job, right? There are probably other reasons you don’t like the women in question, I’m guessing. I hope you’re hiding it and saving it for Pit threads.

Also, hey, what the hell ever happened with your boyfriend?

[Sarahfeena]

@Rubystreak

I’m glad you got a job. I hope you will go easier on the female gender, though, and don’t treat your co-workers with contempt and derision over this issue of stuffed animals. Don’t fall into that trap of hating other women and judging them over superficial shit like this. It makes working life much harder and isn’t necessary.

I agree that it’s kind of tacky to have a billion tchotckes all over your workspace, but hey, what’s it to you? Esp. if the woman is nice to you and good at her job, right? There are probably other reasons you don’t like the women in question, I’m guessing. I hope you’re hiding it and saving it for Pit threads.

I wholeheartedly want to second this sentiment. Just do your job professionally and to the best of your abilities, and don’t worry about what other people do…especially things that don’t affect you in the least…in the corporate world, it will make it a lot easier, and make you a lot happier, in the long run.