[QUOTE=liberty3701]
I didn’t have any problem with my body, really, until I lost a lot of weight, and I saw how differently people treated me, from my mom to strangers on the street. People smiled at me more, were more likely to go out of their way to help me, more likely to strike up a conversation. And it made me realize that, as a woman, my looks make up 100% of what people think of me. I started to secretly hate everyone who complimented me on my looks, and secretly hate myself for loving the attention I had been denied for 18 years.
And then I gained it all back. And then I gained more. Nine years later, I’ve come to back to terms with my body, and having dated and subsequently married a guy who was there for my weight gain and didn’t even notice (until I pointed it out) definitely helps. Being a fat woman seems to make it okay for strangers to tell you exactly what they think about the way you look, and consequently, what they think about you as a person. …I’m not sure which is worse, but the fact that I appear to be invisible to everyone else is definitely the worst.
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I can identify with all of this…my friend who keeps saying, what about that time you lost weight, what did you do then? How about accepting me as I am now? And the invisiblity–people glancing and then looking away like they’re scared to become what I am, or to be caught looking.
But like Idlewild, I’m OK with my body. When I gain weight I gain it all over so I remain proportional though obese. Speaking of which, looking on Google Images for something like me, I feel really bad for the “obese woman” who just wanted to go swimming in the ocean and is now a jpeg on Google Images.
The only reason I would get surgery is to be more healthful and have more energy to move around. And to not worry if I’m going to fit in a seat!!
Millit . . . I’m probably being a big hypocrite, because my friends say the same thing to me and I always refuse to listen, but you are not chubby, good grief.
[QUOTE=gigi]
The only reason I would get surgery is to be more healthful and have more energy to move around. And to not worry if I’m going to fit in a seat!!
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Oh, man, the first airline seat I oozed over, I wanted to die. Although, to be fair, it was an extremely narrow seat - I’ve been on plenty of planes since without the same problem at the same weight.
[QUOTE=Little Plastic Ninja]
I’d rather have that – and know I worked to earn it – than wake up suddenly Gisele.
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Even though I’m quoting Little Plastic Ninja, she’s not the only one who has expressed this sentiment, and I don’t understand it. If I woke up tomorrow morning and found out that some super rich third cousin, 6 times removed had died and left me millions - woohoo! To me, that money is just as nice as if I’d earned it. Possibly even nicer. No complaints here. I’d feel the same way about the better body. Waking up with one I hadn’t earned wouldn’t bother me in the least.
I must say that I envy a lot of you your self confidence.
Would it include her hair? She has some georgeous hair, though I like my auburn color better.
I have nothing against plastic surgery, but I don’t want to look like some other person. I want to look like me. She has a nice figure now, but that doesn’t mean it won’t all change later. Would I do lipo? Maybe after I’ve actually gotten off my ass and done something to warrant the sucking off of that last bit of fat. There’s no sense in getting any tummy tucks, lipo, etc. if all you are going to do is turn it back into what you just paid to get rid of.
I’m comfortable enough in my own skin to accept myself as I am. I do wish I was uncomfortable enough to actually lose the extra weight for health reasons, not vanity reasons.
[QUOTE=amarinth]
Waking up with one I hadn’t earned wouldn’t bother me in the least.
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I was thinking the same thing. To some extent, no one really “earns” their looks. You can do a lot with what you have, of course, but a good part of it is what we’re born with. If there were some way I could have my idea of the ideal body, with the metabolism required to maintain it, at no cost whatsoever, I’d take it in a heartbeat, w00t.
[QUOTE=WhyNot]
In the mirror though, all I can see is the vague outlines of *me *inside this fat suit. But I’m starting to wonder (oy, this sounds self-absorbed in a thread that’s already a little more me-centered than I intended. But what the hell…) maybe I’m one of those “goddess women” that (some) *other *people see beauty in.
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Um…I think you’re on to something!! For the record, this is totally my opinion, and also for the record, I would still find you pretty if you lost weight. I don’t need for you to do so for me to find you pretty, but I also understand that you would be happy if you could drop some poundage.
[QUOTE=WhyNot]
And, what I just said notwithstanding…chubbiness? B’wuh? I didn’t see chubbiness on you at *all *when we hung out. Is this “my BMI is too high for healthy” or “Wow, Nicole Kidman looks awesome, why can’t I have her collarbones?” I know people loathe the BMI, but I like having a rational number to point to in order to figure out if something needs to change or if I’ve been hiveminded by Hollywood.
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I’m sure you understand! I can’t look at a pair of my own pants without thinking, “hot damn, it takes THAT amount of fabric to cover my ass?!” I don’t want to be Nicole “collarbones” Kidman, but I’d like to be able to find a shirt and pants that fit me standing up without giving me a giant overlap-tummy-thing when I sit down, or a dress that doesn’t need major alterations in the bodice just to accommodate my disproportionately big hips. A size 8 would be amazing. And I’m well in the “overweight” range for BMI, too. It bugs me that I’m going to be a nurse and I can’t keep my own body weight healthy. Maybe “chunky” is a better word than “chubby.”
Anyway, enough about me–carry on! I’m glad to hear so many women saying they wouldn’t take the surgery; it gives me hope!
[QUOTE=WhyNot]
That’s a gorgeous, healthy body! Believe me, I don’t have the media manipulated unattainable (on average) ideal problem going on. I’d be over the moon to be down to a healthy 160 (which, at 5’6", would still have me clinically overweight with a BMI of 25.8). That’s still 70 pounds away, and I’m fracking stuck here on rice cakes and salads. grumble grumble
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I currently weigh around 210 at nearly 5’10", so it’s just a little bit too heavy. I’m more poochy than fat, though, so it’s that last 20-30 lbs. that’s going to be tough. I find that being active and doing lots of manual labor tends to help me lose weight when it happens, but I’m in a semi-sedentary mode these days as a grad student. Either way, I think that, with me, achieving my “ideal” body weight (in the 150s-160s) is going to require a few things in combination: eating well, intense exercise at least 4x/week, and moving to a cooler climate. I can’t seem to keep the fat off when it’s always hot outside.
For the record, this is totally my opinion, and also for the record, I would still find you pretty if you lost weight. I don’t need for you to do so for me to find you pretty, but I also understand that you would be happy if you could drop some poundage.
