As I was shelving children’s DVDs today I noticed how very inappropriate they all are. There is obviously some kind of conspiracy to corrupt the minds of our children through DVDs.
Diabolical!
I mean look! Look at the horrible things THEY are teaching your children!
Bob the Builder: New to the Crew - Watch as Bob and his gang harass everyone with their “construction” racket. If Bob’s not part of the union he better watch out, his capo might not like it when he steps outside his position.
Herbie: Fully Loaded - That sweet, innocent Lindsay Lohan began her slow ride to ruin after she was pedaled drugs by an evil German that is in cahoots with Hitler!
The Very Hungry Caterpillar - Obesity! As if our children didn’t struggle enough under the shadow of Ronald “The Molester” McDonald, they are being encouraged to overeat and then told they will be rewarded with grace and beauty for their gluttony. For shame!
Are you the parent, or was someone else? Based on the use of the word “shelving,” I’d say you work at a library. And was it the cartoon, or the live-action film? If it was the live-action film, and if it was someone else, I must say: what part of “parental guidance suggested” don’t you understand?
It was the cartoon. The original cartoon. The cartoon that wasn’t scary. The cartoon that nearly every child from the ages of 3 to 8 watched religiously. The cartoon that featured a single real ghost!
I weep for the future of a kid frightened by a cartoon featuring an old man in a mask.
But then I actually looked at the shelves and saw the debauchery of it all! The horrors! This parent was right to demand we go through and measure the “scariness level” of every DVD in the building. While we’re at it, let’s do the books too.
And this
makes no sense. What good would a sticker do if the movie is already rated? Read the rating! Use the rating! It’s what it’s for!
That’s why I asked to elaborate. If it had been the live-action film, I would have said that they should have known in advance that it was rated PG. But then again, a lot of people take their young children to R-rated films for God knows what reason, so who really knows what they’re thinking?
Don’t you mean “no single real ghost?” The ghosts on the original series were always fake (although this changed as the series progressed). And I can imagine that a very young child, say, 2 or 3 may be scared by the ghosts before they are unmasked, but seven? According to some psychologists and the TV rating system, seven is the age children are able to differentiate between what is real and what is fake.
Cars and Robots? Teaching children to reject nature in favor of machinery. Hercules? Brainwashing impressionable young minds about paganist beliefs. Mulan? A Bush propaganda piece designing to convince young women to join the military.