I had this image of you on a soapbox going on and on about crack detectives! 
Couldda bin worse. Couldda bin penis ensues.
When I was a little boy, my mother would bring home margarine from the grocery store. The package always included the rubric “coloring added.” I always wanted to be the child who got to open a new pound of margarine. Imagine my excitement and anticipation as I opened the pasteboard box!
Imagine my disappointment and eventual disgust when it turned out to be YELLOW. AGAIN!!!
For probably the same reason I once said “touchwarming”: you had two words in mind and inadvertently combined them.
“pondered” + “ruminated” = “pontificated”
“touching” + “heartwarming” = “touchwarming”
Remember that line from the song “Plastic Jesus”?
*When I drive at a hundred and eighty
He just stands there luminating.
*
(My sister, who told me about it, was in high school at the time. She learned it from a kid whose father was an Episcopalian minister.)
When my brother was 4 he was sitting at the dinner table and asked for the, “Salten”. My parents realized that he interpreted it from, “salt and pepper”
When I was 5 I got poison ivy, but I called it, “poisonous ivory”
As a kid watching soft drink commercials I thought there was a lemon-lime fruit instead of a combination of two fruits.
That might have something to do with it. I completely forgot about that until now.