Words that sound dirty but actually aren't

Philatelist

You know that word is pronounced “VAHN-kel” and not how it’s spelled, right?

My contribution: Spelunking

frigate

Goblin Toppler
Gobbler’s Knob

Petcock

Panhard rod

Air Lingus

Dick Van Dyke

Dick Trickle

sleeve job

(Yes, I got this from Firesign: “I’ll bet you gave the guard a sleeve job!” It actually has to do with automotive mechanics.)

Ululate.
Woodpecker.

If names count, Erasmus always sounded like a genital inflammation to me.

Nuptials.

moist

Sultry!

The night was sultry!

matriculate

ball joint (a car part)

ball driver (a tool, AKA a ball-end hex key)

prick punch (a pointed tool for making divots in metal parts)

invagination

lucubration

Hey, did you hear that Dolly Parton bought up the Big Lots, Piggly Wiggly, and Harris Teeter chain stores? They’re going to be combined into one store called Big Wiggly Teeters.

And by the way, “titular head” also belongs on this list.

I named a few car parts too-- “bleed nipple” was my favorite-- and I just thought of another:

tie rod end.

Also, I find it amusing when garages have signs up that say “We do rear ends,” or “We service rear ends.”

“Rear end” refers to the differential, and other parts of a rear-wheel drive car. Fewer and fewer places keep the tools or parts on hand to do the work on them, as more and more cars are front-wheel drive, so when a place will work on them, they advertise the fact, since it can’t be assumed anymore.

Speaking of cars, I think you blew a seal.

Or someone piston their pants.

Is that a Cummings?

.

It was a milkshake!

Also the painter Titian. (Pronounced Tee-shen)

cock-and-bull story
titubate
eruction
Enterococcus

Fructose
Pagination
Pistachio
Anal. Chem. (as an abbreviation of analytical chemistry)