I work part-time at a call center doing surveys and polls. I don’t particularly enjoy it, but I need to make a buck, the library gigs I’m getting at the moment aren’t enough, and it’s not practical having a real job while I’m in library school. Today, I was calling people polling them about their TV, radio, internet and newspaper habits and such. It’s hardly inspiring work, and I’ll readily admit that I wasn’t really into it and wasn’t really paying much attention to the whole thing. To alleviate the boredom, I was trying to read Murakami’s Kafta on the Shore while working, and was having trouble processing both tasks as once. Anyway, I get a message on my screen from one of the supervisors calling me into the office. If you’ve ever had this kind of job, you might know how it works, the supervisors listen in on some of our calls and give us feedback at irregular intervals. This is mostly constructive, sometimes just bollocks, and sometimes not really about anything. Today I guess I knew I wasn’t setting the world on fire with my efforts, so I did half expect a bit of a flogging. However, what I did get was just weird.
This particular supervisor is a new one on the job, a guy about my age, who has just recently been “upgraded” from being an interviewer himself. I know several of the supervisors fairly well, but this guy I hadn’t talked to much before. I walk in, the guy signals me to a chair. He’s got a face on like he’s at his mother’s funeral. I say, “wassup”? He looks at me and goes:
“So, you’re on the media survey today. Having any… problems?”
I smell trouble. “Don’t think so. Why?”
Dude turns and looks me gravely in the eye. “How… are you doing these days?”
“Fine” What?
“Is there any particular reason why you would be… having a bad period right now? Is something going on? Some reason why you would be… unhappy? Something about work? Or about your… personal life?”
All the while looking at me as if it’s 1943, I’m in Moscow and he’s just found out I’m a German spy. My sphincter slams shut. “Why are you asking?”
“Because, you know, we can all go through hard times. I do, too, sometimes. If there’s something here at work that’s troubling you, I’d like you help. You can tell me. Or is there some other reason why you would be… tired, or dissatisfied? Because I’ve been listening in on your calls today, and, well…” (dude stares at his computer screen for like five minutes.) “Well, how do you feel things are going?”
Fuck. OK, Something major going down here. My work has obviously been absolutely shit lately, and they’ve been saving it up to toss it at me. Oh, just get it over with. “Come, on,”, I tell, him, “stop this. What are you on about? Just tell me what the problem is.”
“No, really. Something you want to tell me? Anything? It’s OK, we can all go through rough patches. I’m willing to entertain the idea that it’s something temporary that’s going on, if you want to talk about it. You see, I *like *you. You seem like a lively sort of guy. You’ve got a quirky sense of humor. I get that, I’m a bit like that myself. You regularly stop by to shoot the breeze with the supervisors. That’s nice, well, as long as it doesn’t get in the way of working, you know? Sure, you might come off as a bit… *unusual *at times, but that’s OK, it takes all sorts of people. I think we all basically have a good impression of you. That’s why I’d like to know if there’s something… wrong.”
So I’m thinking, actually, when you mention it… Well, I am really stressed out because of my exams right now. Also, financial issues. Also, girl trouble. In fact, I think I’m not really happy with life at the moment. Been feeling a bit depressed, in fact. I suppose it has to shine through at work, even if I haven’t been aware of it. Damn it! I can’t even get this really simple job right? Maybe he’s right. Maybe things aren’t OK with me. Oh, yeah, and did I mention that I kind of actually hate this job? Hell, I don’t think I should be here at all. I have been seriously thinking about quitting. But I really need the money! I’d have to go looking for another job, and I hate that. Oh, damn it. Better just quit before they fire me. This isn’t working out. And he thinks I’m a damned weirdo. Welll, isn’t that just fucking fantastic. Yeah, I know. My people skills aren’t exactly my strongest point. Maybe I’m just fundamentally unable to do this kind of job, as it, well, requires so much talking to people. I never was good at that. But I thought I was doing fine? Apparently, I’m not. Well, fine, then. If that’s how it is, I’m outta here.
He goes on: “’Cause we hate to have interviewers employed here who aren’t happy.”
“No, I suppose you’re right. I understand that it not a good idea for the company, or for me, that I’m working here if I’m not able to perform my tasks properly. I have to admit, when you mention it, that I’ve been having a bit of trouble concentrating lately. And also, as you say, there are other things that have been on my mind.”
“I see. Well, do you want me to write an a-mail to the personnel consultant and find out if it’s okay for you to… take some time off, perhaps?”
“I don’t know… I think I need a moment to think about this. I wasn’t really prepared to deal with this today.” I’m choking up now. What, I’m crying? Fuck, stop this.
“Sure. Because, you see, I’ve been listening to your calls, and the thing is, it’s your intro. When people first pick up the phone. Well, if I was on the other end, I don’t think I would want to talk to you today. You don’t sound interested. You’re not getting many interviews, either, When you do get an interview, you’re doing just fine. You’re quick, you’re very accurate, it’s all… fine, really. It’s just about your intro. It made me think something might be going on.”
Hang on, Hang on! What? Is that all? Am I hallucinating, or did the guy just cut to the chase? Overreaction city, dude. Of course I don’t sound interested. I’m trying to read Kafka on the Shore. What, you want me to perk up my intro? Well, fuck, I can do that. How the hell did you extrapolate from that extremely specific complaint to assuming my whole life is in shambles and that I need to get the sack?
“This is all about my intro? And just about today?”
“Well, yeah. And, well, you’ve also been taking to many breaks lately.”
Dude, I’ve been taking to many breaks since I started here. That’s because I’m a lazy ass. Anyway, everybody takes to many breaks around here. In fact, you even had my precise job not two months ago, so you should bloody well know. So seriously, whisky tango foxtrot?
“Actually, I believe I’ve been taking too many breaks since I started here.”
“That’s not really a defense.”
“Whatever. Can I get back to work now?”
So I go back to work. Fifteen minutes later, I get a new message on my screen: “Wow, now your intro is GREAT!”
Holy cow. Well, of course it, because you made me aware that I was slacking off on it. And that was the full extent of the problem! You could have told me that in five seconds, totally without screwing my head up. Man, I really don’t need stuff like this. The whole episode really left me shaky. It’s been on my mind since I left work. It was all so absurd, I didn’t really absorb how totally off the mark it all was until I’d had time to let it sink in. I really think I need to talk to this guy about this. I’m sure he meant well, I really am. However, if this is the kind of feedback he’s giving to everyone, I have to stop him before he upsets the mental health of the entire department.
What do you think? Ever had bosses or supervisors do something this bizarre? Should I just tell him straight? Or should I walk into the office, look him in the eye, and say: “I’ve been noticing something… *different *about you lately. It’s about your feedback. Is everything… all right with you?”
