It’s spring break for my kids - no school. Their grandmother has come out to visit and is staying with my soon-to-be-ex wife. So, for this week, our regular sitter hasn’t had the kids.
We’ve already agreed with her that a day off here and there doesn’t change the weekly fee we usually pay her - in other words, we don’t pay per day.
This is different though in that she hasn’t had the kids all week.
Part of me is saying that we pay her anyway - she’s available to sit even if she hasn’t been. The other part is saying, no services received, no payment needed.
Summer is coming up and I’m planning a one-week camping trip with the kids - I’d like to be consistent then and now as to when we pay and don’t.
I would think it fair for both of you to use this as a “vacation” week - no sitting, no paying - that many daycares use. BUT, this is not the time to bring it up. You may end up compromising with 1/2 pay to stay on good terms with the sitter if this was a surprise to you.
I would think it fair for both of you to use this as a “vacation” week - no sitting, no paying - that many daycares use. BUT, this is not the time to bring it up. You may end up compromising with 1/2 pay to stay on good terms with the sitter if this was a surprise to you. It would have been better to resolve this two months ago. If she is the kind of sitter that is living paycheck to paycheck this has more serious implications for her.
I think reasonable not to pay so long as you have given sufficient notice. And we are talking at least a month here. It might be difficult for her to get alternative work at short notice and if that is money she is relying on then it’s a little unfair to suddenly change plans.
As a babysitter, I agree with the above. It’s best discussed ahead of time (two weeks minimum, a month optimum.) That said, if I knew ahead of time the kid wasn’t going to be mine because of a whole week off, I would expect payment for that week, even if we didn’t discuss pay specifically. Actually, if the kid missed more than half of any regular week (for illness, say), I’d only charge half, but I’m sort of a pushover, so YBMV. (Your Babysitter May Vary.)
I don’t rely on babysitting to put food on the table - more to put new pots and pans in my cupboard, so it’s not such a big deal for me to have no-shows or last minute cancellations. If it was my only source of income, I might be a bit more hardassed about it.
She, unfortunately, does live paycheck to paycheck. Her husband is out of work I’m told. She asked for her last payment in cash because she had some immediate need and a check would take too long to clear (an assumption on my part - or maybe avoiding the check-cashing place’s fees.
<hijack> Belrix–how’s it going with you? What’s it like, living apart from your soon-to-be-ex? I remember your threads about your marriage, and I hope everything’s going as well as it can for you. Are the kids living with you these days (well, except for the time they’re spending at Grandma and Grandpa’s.) </hijack>
I think that, if you gave the babysitter some notice–at least a few weeks, I’m thinking–you could take the week of Spring Break as a “vacation week,” where the sitter doesn’t get paid. If, on the other hand, arrangements to have the kids leave town for a week were made at the last minute, I think you owe the babysitter her full pay.
After all, if you cancelled an appointment with any other professional at the last minute, wouldn’t they charge you anyway? When I tutored, I used to charge students who either didn’t show up or didn’t cancel with me at least a day in advance. Having an appointment with them effectively prevented me from setting anything up with anyone else. I’d assume your babysitter’s situation is similar.
Keep in mind that the way most home daycares work is that they have a certain amount o f"slots" they are allowed to fill up, and after that, they can’t take any more kids. So it’s not like she can just go out and watch another kid for just that week…most people already have those arrangements set up if they need a whole week.
You’re effectively paying for your kid’s “slot” week by week, or month by month.
When our daughter was a baby, we got her ina home daycare program while my wife and I worked. It was understood that after a year, we would get a week of “vacation” where we could take her out of daycare and not have to pay. Because we got along so well, she gave us our vacation time early. When my wife decided to quit work to be a mom full time, we took her out of home daycare, but paid her for the “vacation” week because we weren’t supposed to get it until 1 year, and she extended it with the idea that she would have us as clients for a year or more.
I’m inclined to say “pay her,” especially if she is a full-time babysitter watching only your kids. When you have a job, generally you consider vacation to be time that you get paid and you don’t work. Thus, for this to be a “vacation” week for her, she should still get paid. Do you have any provisions to give her paid time off at times of her choosing? Not saying you necessarily should, but I’m seeing this time off as analagous to those companies that have two-week plant closings, and make their employees take their vacation time during the closings. That’s not as desirable as paid vacation/PTO, but it is better than unpaid leave/furlough.
Assuming this nanny-style arrangement, no sense making a poorly-compensated job even worse, IMHO. Also, if you are happy with her as your sitter, this kind of decent treatment could go a long way toward keeping her, and thus keeping stability for your kids.
If it is more like she runs a day-care business, she should hopefully have established terms for this kind of thing, to treat all customers consistently.
Something that hasn’t been mentioned is that, if you pay her anyway, she will likely become even more devoted to you (meaning your family, not like she’s going to sleep with you or anything. . .). So, if in the future, something makes it difficult for her to watch your kids, she will try her best to be extra-accommodating. If it’s not a financial hardship for you to pay her anyway, and you know it would be a hardship for her to not be paid, they paying her is the “nice guy” thing to do. And cements her devotion in the future.
Just dropping to say that I was surprised to read that pay would be expected, even if no services were rendered. I understand the reasoning, it just never would have occurred to me. I’m glad I’m reading this thread now, so I’ll not be caught off-guard when and if I have children (or a childcare service).
I don’t pay if my son doesn’t go to the sitter’s, but that’s the sitter’s choice - she specifically told us when we first started going that if he doesn’t attend, we don’t pay. We were gone for an entire week at Christmas, but we gave her a bonus, too, so it equaled to about half-pay.
She seems pretty well-off financially (her husband’s a firefighter, so I know that he’s not rolling in it, but they do fairly well), and since it’s her rule, we follow it.
I’d say if you discussed it in advance, and she was okay with it, don’t pay her. But it sounds like she could really use the money.
Back in the dinosaur days, when AdoptaTeens were AdoptaToddlers, I provided home based child care. My “policy”, which was written but admittedly loose, was that I reserved that spot for your child, based my income around your child being present, and was as dependent on the fees I charged as you are for your paycheck.
I offered one full week vacation after one year at no charge and I determined which week that applied since I closed my operation down to take my family vacation during that time. I wasn’t available - the parents had to find alternate child care - so I expected no pay.
When a child was sick for two or more days, half day rates were applied rather than full day rates. If I became sick and was not able to offer care for your child, I expected no pay and tried to keep that to a bare minimum. (Often calling parents the morning of and advising I was under the weather so we were having a PJ Day - bring your kids in their PJ’s if they want, we’re having a quiet, inside only play day heavy on the movies. This kept emergency/alternate childcare arrangements to a minimum).
Fortunately, the parents of the children I cared for were wonderful and we all considered one another informal extended family. The children who came to me when I opened my home daycare were still with me when I closed it down years later. Ideally, your child care provider should be someone you would want to go the extra mile for and pay if there is any doubt since they are helping rear your children.
When I put my first son in a home daycare, the daycare provider explained to me that, as any other full-time worker would expect, she took two weeks of paid vacation per year, plus certain holidays (like Christmas Eve, for example). Made sense to me; she was just as entitled to vacation time as anyone else. I had absolutely no one else to watch him while I worked, so I just took vacation or sick days when she was off.
A couple of years ago, I had my two oldest in daycare for a few months, and then I had to quit my job abruptly to stay home with them. We explained this to the daycare provider – that kid #1 was sick and wouldn’t be able to come back for quite a while, so thanks for your wonderful care and here’s two weeks pay. She told us nobody had ever even given her two weeks notice before, let alone paid her. I thought it was simple courtesy, to give her time to find another kid or two to fill their slots.
Discuss it with your babysitter. I still hire a sitter during the summer even though my kids are 15 and 13. My niece drives so she takes them to swim/tennis lessons, the pool, the zoo, etc. so that they don’t spend all summer in the house. Anywho, I pay her a flat $100/week for 3 days. If I don’t need her for a day for some reason or another, I still give her the $100. She agreed to give me her time on such a such day and I’ll pay for that privilege.
On the other hand, if she takes a day off, she doesn’t get paid.
My kids go to a daycare center (not a private babysitter). They treat their fees like tuition. You have to pay even if you don’t show up for class. This encourages people to bring their sick children in to infect all the other kids. Don’t get me started on their holidays policies. They’ve decided to close the Monday after Easter instead of Good Friday when all the schools are closed as well as most of the employers in town. They know that this way they basically get two days off for the price of one since few kids will show up Friday and they can staff down.
We pay our sitter regardless. For example next week is spring vacation and she will get paid and she works zero hours. It isn’t her fault we choose to leave and not use her services. This has worked very well for us–our sitter is ALWAYS available and we can count on her and she counts on us.
We pay her a set salary a week. Some weeks she is there all week-other weeks she only works half time. We pay her the same week after week and it has worked for us.