Workplace Etiquette

He must work in Bear City.

Warning: Video plays immediately and doesn’t seem to have a volume control.

I think C is the best option, but I usually do A because I’m shy.

Strong-arm both of them off to either side, like a football player.


Myself, I just take out a small knife and start doing my fab Peter Lorre, and amazingly, people get out of the way. Also the room, the building, etc. :stuck_out_tongue:

I don’t see the option for a shoulder check.

I don’t get any other opportunities to practice checking around the office, after management cracked down on impromptu office-hockey games.

D or F.

Pardon me. Look out. Pardon me. Excuse me. Hot soup.

“Make a hole, people. Comin’ through!”

I guess I’m in the extreme minority that says A? I’d like to think that coworkers usually at least shift their weight, lean back, or give some sort of signal that you’re clear to go through without interrupting.

If this were time for the summer Olympics, we would all have a different gymnastic or track & field term for some triple vault more over them.

I would typically go with Option A, but not exactly out of timidity or politeness. It’s the Maximally Passive-Aggressive choice, ideal for situations like this.

When the Offending Conversants (finally) notice you standing there (staring at them with your arms folded and an annoyed look on your face), they will sometimes get all red-faced and embarassed at themselves and steps aside, profusely apologizing as you pass by.

It’s absolutely worth it to use Option A, just to savor the occasional times they will react this way. Failing that, however, I might go with Option D (silently plow through), or say “EXcuse me” but not in a particularly timid way.

The idea is to be just enough of a jerk to make them uncomfortable too, without making yourself look even jerkier, which would just leave you being the jerk.

To be sure, I haven’t had much occasion to try this in an office setting. But the same strategy works well in the supermarket when customers are blocking the aisles with their carts and their selves. In those cases, I’ve noticed, they more often than not will get real sheepish when they notice me waiting patiently to pass by and profusely apologize. It’s worth the wait.

My race has two problems: they like to hold conferences on doorways and narrow stairs AND, if they need to squeeze through, they bend their backs forward, stretch their arms 45 degrees downwards with the hands in a karate-chop position, and then pass through with their heads bowed. I find it weird, like a slave moving about the throne room. Me, I pass through politely but with neck craned, eyes like watching a movie, and shoulders squared (to signify that I need that much width to pass through.)

I think it’s a little bit of a jokey question

Timidly say excuse me, plow through their conversation and shout get a room

H. Drop to your knees, fall forward, and slither between them on your belly like a snake, hissing loudly and wetly as you go. Extra points for spraying spit on the offenders’ shoes.

I. Drop to your knees and rub against the offenders’ legs like a cat, arching your back, purring, and meowing. Extra points if you can make figure eights through their legs.

J. Yell “GUN!” as loud as you can, then stick out your elbows as you charge between them. Extra points if you bring both of them down.

K. If you’re a woman, sashay between them as you pull your blouse/sweater up to hide your face but to expose your breasts (make sure to wear a nice bra or no bra that day), thus possibly disguising your identity.

L. Pull out your guitar and sing Sixteen Tons, and really *sell *it when you get to:

Bonus points for humming the theme song while doing it.

I wouldn’t even say it’s annoying unless they aren’t letting me get through.

I just give it a “pardon me” or jokingly something like “make a hole!” and cut on through. What’s the big deal?

It depends on who they are, how serious the conversation is, and how quickly I need to get where I’m going.

#1) If it’s a big wig, I pause and wait for an opening, then say, “Pardon me.” If it’s my friend, I say, “Out of the way, lady.”

#2) If it’s a serious conversation involving tears or arguing, I find another route.

#3) If I HAVE to get somewhere in a hurry, I say, “Excuse me, please!” in a loud voice and cut through.

I work in a hospital so it’s entirely possible my solution won’t work for you.

The teams are doing rounds (Oncologist, Fellow, Registrar, pharmacist, dietitian, social worker, psychologist and generally one or two other allied health folk). They always cluster around the patients charts and are generally oblivious of nurses rushing around trying to do what we do.

“Bedpan coming through” generally gets me a clear passage through the mob. Bonus points if the patient is C. diff or Noro positive.


In that case, it’s “Pardon me, sir/ma’am.”

Dead body. You kill one but only maim the other, so (s)he can explain the error they committed.