At some point, people decide to stop using “excuse me” as a means to get past another person that’s blocking their way. I’m not sure why; maybe they’re too embarrassed, or maybe they’ve had too many people react to a polite “excuse me” with hostility, or maybe they’re just fucking mutants that don’t understand that we’re trying to have a human society, here.
Twice today alone I saw the results of this passivity in embarrassing action. I was shopping for pants and noticed a person trying to get past another person who was rudely and obliviously completely blocking an aisle in the store. Instead of saying “excuse me!,” or anything, the person contorted and stretched and tried everything in their power to fit past the mindless, oblivious cow-person that was blocking the aisle, which was of course completely impossible and is why a simple verbal exchange would have worked. Instead - and you can see where this is naturally leading - the passive pussy-person’s bag caught on something and they ended up toppling over an entire display, complete with two of those torso-only mannequins, like something out of a goddamned sitcom. I was just infuriated and saddened by the whole tableau.
Then, on the bus, same story - person is rudely, completely, and obliviously blocking the aisle, while another person tries to get by them without saying anything, instead doing the whole song and dance…except this time it lands their backpack in my FACE. “Hey!,” I yelled, “COME ON! Just say EXCUSE ME!”
Fuck this. I’m going to start practicing my ability to suck in wind and let it out in a loud, barking burp for such occasions.
In situations where it’s possible to be innocently, unknowingly blocking someone else’s way, I agree - it wouldn’t hurt for them to say “Excuse me”. In lots of other situations (such as stopping abruptly in or inside a doorway or on the exit space of an escalator), being unceremoniously shoved is nature’s way of telling you not to be such an ignorant, unthinking ass.
It’s a downfall of our language. ‘Excuse me’ means both, “may I pass?” and “I’ve done something wrong, and I’m sorry.” This makes some people reluctant to use it in the more innocent situation.
In Spanish speaking countries the OP’s problem does not exist. They have con permiso to pass, and perdón for when they do something wrong and are sorry.
I say “excuse me” all the time when people are in my fucking way and I can’t get around. The majority of the time, they say “oh, sure!” or “oh, sorry!”
What I don’t get is why I have to call attention to the fact I’m trying to get past. Isn’t it obvious you and your kids and your kiddie-SUV cart are blocking the whole fucking aisle? I have to ask to get past you??
It’s amazing, isn’t it? I have no idea why people would prefer to shove you out of the way, ram their cart into you in the aisles, etc., than say a simple, “Excuse me.”
Of course, some people, particularly the sort of people who are most likely to obliviously block traffic lanes, are selectively deaf to phrases like “excuse me”, “pardon me”, “coming through”, “make a hole”, or “move it or lose it, asshole”. They are also most likely to become indignant, belligerent, or in some cases even violent when after you use one of the above phrases without response and proceed to violate their personal space by even lightly coming into contact with their body, their cart, or anything else of theirs trying to get past them.
I say excuse me/pardon me all the time on campus because lots of college kids are assholes and see no problem in blocking every available sidewalk, hallway, doorway, or aisle. I am usually met with hostility or silence, but they move most of the time. Like those people who get to the lecture hall early and sit on the aisle. And not even in the left-hand desk (which is a good excuse - there are not many of those). And I tend to like to sit pretty close so I can see and hear and not look like a slacker so I don’t sit in just any row. And there is no clearance between your legs and the seat in front. You know this. Why shoot me a dirty look when I say excuse me politely to pass? You chose to sit in the aisle 10 minutes before class starts. You expect to be alone in the row? If I get to class pretty early like usual and I want to sit in the first three rows, there are people in every aisle seat. Maybe 1/5 of the people are nice when you say pardon me. The rest act super inconvenienced. Hey, it’s your fucking fault you sat there so early, get over yourself.
When I worked in restaurant kitchens we called out, “Behind!” when we were going to pass or walk past someone. I’ve always wanted to just start yelling that in the mall at Christmas.
Or be like Bill Bryson with a flame thrower, yelling, “Culling!” as he weaves through the crowd in Rome…
The next time someone stops at the very top of the escalator to look around and think about where they would like to go, I’m going to just let the escalator throw me into them and then holler, “Why did you stop at the top of the escalator, you fool? Keep moving out of the way! Did your mama teach you nothing?” Then I’m going to run like hell.
This happens to me a lot in Whole Foods. Not usually in other stores–it’s very strange. People will just stand there with their carts blocking an aisle (especially in the deli and produce section, where there’s not enough room to get around a cart), and they’ll pretend they didn’t hear you say “Excuse me.” Or I’ll get a snotty “Mm-hm,” and they’ll just keep standing where they are, in my way. I don’t like going to Whole Foods.
Yeah, the sudden stoppers deserve a good trampling. Just as bad are weavers. You try to pass on the left, they zig to the left. You try to pass on the right, they zag back to the right. You try to anticipate their zig-zag and pass on the left, they’ll feint to the right and zig left. Wam! “'Scuse me!”
Walmart is the worst for this. I no longer slow down or even try to avoid anyone; it is pointless, they are like unguided missiles that will find you no matter where you go. Now I just walk right into them, and glare at them through my shades.
