Well, it happened again today. I was going down an aisle in the local supermarket. There was a woman with her cart parked diagonally across the aisle, and I couldn’t get through.
I said, “Pardon me.”
She said, without moving, “mmm-hmmmm.”
I said, “Excuse me, could you please let me through?”
She said, without moving, “mmm-hmmmm.”
So I gently moved her cart over, just enough to let myself through.
At which point she pushed her cart across the aisle, just missing me.
See, boy, here’s your problem. After encountering this on more than one occasion, you need to take firmer action.
“Get Your Fuckin’ Cart Outta My Way!” at the top of your lungs would have been better after you tried the nice way.
Adding, “Bitch” at the end would be OK also.
You’ll learn.
Hot Damn! I hereby nominate samclem as the official SDMB manners and etiquette consultant. 
I could never! So instead, will you come shopping with me? You could be my lethal weapon; my pit bull of shopping. I’d let you ride in the cart and you could even choose one candy all for yourself.
Please, samclem! There’s absolutely no need for using rude language such as that.
Especially not when shopping carts make effective battering rams.
My husband called me the other day from the grocery store parking lot. He had had not one, not two, not three, but seven women park their carts in front of him and refuse all reasonable requests to move. All in one ten-minute shopping expedition.
I just don’t get it. What’s wrong with common courtesy You move aside for me, I move aside for you, everyone’s happy. Is it such a difficult concept? Apparently it is to far more people out there than I would have believed possible.
Isn’t “moderator” some sort of variation of “moderation”? Your complete and utter lack of controlling yourself IRL in these situations is now apparent to us all.
And that’s why we love you! 
I have a method of dealing with these moronic people. (Usually women, although that may be b/c women do the majority of grocery shopping, as far as I can see.)
If they don’t respond to the normal “Pardon me/excuse me,” I say something equally polite but far more loudly, in a tone of voice that’s anything but polite.
“EXCUSE ME, I’M SO SORRY, I REALLY NEED TO GET PAST YOU. WOULD YOU MIND MOVING YOUR CART OUT OF MY WAY PLEASE?”
If you say this really loudly, to the point that you may even attract the attention of other shoppers, the offender will generally move. Even though they will generally act as though you have been the rude and offensive person, by saying something snotty or shooting you a really dirty “Oh my God!” look.
But that’s part of the fun.
You should grab their cart, and without another word, heave it about 20 feet down the aisle.
I will confess to moving their carts myself also. While wearing my own “eat shit and die” expression. Exaggerated sighs are also fun.
I know funny and that was funny. Where have you been the last year and a half, MPSIMS?
wow… I’ve never experienced this before. This is so bizarre. I can’t imagine anyone taking offense to this request, or denying it without good reason.
I’ve only done this once, I was in a really bad mood.
Two women were chatting, with their carts blocking 3/4 of the aisle.
Instead of saying excuse me, I said, as though I were giving them a household hint, You know, girls, if you turned both carts just a little more, you could block the entire aisle, so no one could get by. They glared, but the moved.
[sub]It felt good.[/sub]
Because some people have an over-inflated sense of their own self worth. The diagonal aisle-parkers aren’t so bad, I usually will just push my trolley past theirs and push it out of the way. What shits me to tears is the two mothers with young children who decide to w-a-a-a-a-a-a-ander abreast down an aisle that’s barely wide enough for two people to pass each other and who will. Not. Move. Them and the bitches who got up me for suggesting they get their little hellspawn off of the side of my trolley (it had climbed on my trolley when I’d parked it one day to check out something down on the bottom shelf), lest it fall off and I run over its precious little fingers/head.
If a guy sighs too exageratedly people think he’s gay. (exagerated sigh) There are times I wish I were a woman because of that. Being Audrey sounds like fun, but that probably makes me sound gay. I guess I should cast aside the last shreds of my heterosexuality, the ones that say “sleeping with women is even more fun than being Audrey, though if you were a woman you’d have your own boobs to play with.” I neglect to point out to myself that, being that I’m a big, fat fuck, I already have boobs that are possibly bigger than hers. Since admitting that to myself would be embarassing I’ll admit it to a bunch of strangers instead since those of you who aren’t strangers can only say, “True dat!”
Without wanting to rain on this parade of deliciously evil methods of dealing with recalcitrant cart-pushers, is it possible that the woman did not hear you?
I am normally a most courteous shopper, and try to keep my trolley unobtrusive by parking it behind stuff, but on a couple of occasions I have had people shout at me and give me dirty looks when I have not heard their initial requests to get past me…I’m a bit deaf you see. This is especially true if I’m engrossed in comparing products on a supermarket shelf, so unless you have made eye contact with me, the chances are I am not even aware that you are there.
However, if she was just being an inconsiderate fucker, ignore the above and keep going with the creative ideas.
The more appropriate response to this situation is to go back to the aisle with 2-liter soda, fill up your cart to the absolute brim so that it weighs between three and four hundred pounds, go from the long end of the aisle, push as fast as hard and as possible, and scream from the top of your lungs, “Yeeeeeeehaaaaaa, motherfuckers!”
No, the best thing to do is go into the housewares section, and pick up a knife for sale. Smiling an odd little smile, start saying things (if you can do a little Peter Lorre voice so much the better) in an odd, strained weird voice like. “Yesss, I like knives, they are soooo…sharp. yes. sharp.” :eek:
90% of the time, I am just polite- maybe raising my voice into an “EXcuse ME!”- sometimes I just go around. I only tried the Peter Lorre voice once…
She ran like a scaled cat. When the Store security and Ass’t Manager showed up, of course i used a normal voice, and normal intonation. “Yes, this is a good, sharp knife you’re selling here. Is there a problem?” Whereupon they just looked at each other, apologized and left.
Se, this is why I park my trolley at the end of the lane (tucked out of the way) and run up and down the aisles myself. More manoeuvrability.
I’ll say “excuse me” once or twice. After that I will move your shit and plow through and be done with it.