It never fails. NEVER. I’m shopping in my local blah blah and I get caught 6 or 7 times each visit behind a random someone searching for some non-existent product on the shelves or reading the fat content of “fried oil in cheese and cream sauce in a can”.
That’s fine, do that for all I care, but do you have to leave your cart in the middle of the aisle so that no one can pass? I’ve cleared my throat, and I wait. I’ve said excuse me, and you give me this look like I’ve asked you to paint the windy side of a 36 story building. What is your deal, you assmunch? Fuck you.
During my most recent visit, (today, as a matter of fact - the event that instigated this rant) you once again had your cart directly in the center of the aisle. I asked myself, okay how long can this go on. I stood there holding my head up - arms resting on the handle of my cart, looking directly at you. You made eye contact with me you stupid bitch and then continued looking on the shelf. I stood there for 5 and 1/2 minutes, timing you. Eventually, you moved - not because I said anything - the power lifter behind me (whom by the way I explained why I was allowing this to go on) finally screamed at the top of his lungs “Hey lady, there are other people on this planet besides you.” He nearly knocked me over he yelled so loud. The entire place was silent. Kudos to him but…
.he ruined my experiment :mad:
As I walked by this woman, she asked me (of all people) “What the hell is his problem?” I suddenly felt the urge to smack her right up side her freakin’ head. I simply stated that there are other people shopping here and she’s not the queen of Pathmark.
I’m done, I feel better now. Thank you for listening
** im2evil4u**, I’m curious as to what she said when you informed her she wasn’t the Queen.
Ah, yeah, I feel for you, though. I remember I used to get bent outta shape too, but I go grocery shopping with my son now, so when someone that oblivious is blocking the aisle, I just talk to him while I wait for them to realize there’s a shitload of people wanting to pass them. They usually apologize, so no blood pressure is raised anywhere. And even if they don’t, fuck it, no biggie.
I just say “excuse me”, wait 1.25 seconds, and ram my way through if they haven’t moved. If they say anything I just smile and say “I’m sorry”. Same thing with people who won’t move out of the way on escalators.
Y’know the ‘Aisle Hogs’ are employed by the supermarket to keep you lingering longer in the store don’t you? They’re especially rife in the expensive-foods aisle, so you stand there, perusing the goods and salivating while you wait for A.H. to move.
I’m not in to conspiracy theories at all. Really.
Oh, while we’re on supermarket whinges, my local Safeway has decided to revamp the store, changing Every Bloody Aisle’s Contents. I used to have it down to a fine art…down the frozen veggies, miss the frozen sweets, up the dunny-paper, down the washing powder, miss the lemonade (soda) section, etc etc. Now they’ve rearranged it! And they’ve made it more ‘Sucker Friendly’, so while you’re grabbing the essential stuff, there’s all the ‘I don’t really need it, but gee, they’re on special and I REALLY would like some of those (still) exorbitantly priced biodynamic quail cutlets’ produce. How are you meant to resist? They’re just evil. Bugger the aliens, it’s supermarkets who control our brains!
I’m mad. Very mad. (But the quail cutlets were very tasty thank you!)
I personally subscribe to the theory “if you didn’t pay for it, it isn’t yours” Which works extremely well for shopping carts full of groceries… none of it belongs to the offender, it all belongs to the store. As such, I am perfectly within my rights to grab the cart and put it wherever I need to in order to get by. If your cart is in my way, it ain’t staying there long. I’ve even moved carts with little kids sitting in the seat “Excuse me, kid.”
Another really annoying thing is when people just stop and deside to chat with someone they meet while you wait to get past ARGH! and thats usually the same people that walk so slow that they would move backwards if it wasn’t for the invisible force of my annoyance that manages to push them gently along…
I just assume that whenever I go grocery shopping or to MallWart that I will be delayed for no particular reason whatsoever. Whether it be lane hoggers, slow clerks, or idiots in then line ahead of me, I know I’m going to get fucked. Fortunately, most grocery/MallWart aisles contain at least one copy of Weekly World News - this saves me in the checkout lanes.
Aisle hogs, though…there’s not much you can do about that. I have smoker’s cough and that helps a bit. I have to say im2evil4u’s specimen is a cut below, though; I have to go with sailor’s 'move ‘em out of the way myself’ mode; had to do that in the Madrid airport once: “What? You mean it’s NOT ok to have four full-size suitcase spread across the only conceivable walkway?”
I absolutely detest aisle hogs, as well as those people that stop to chat. And I don’t hesitate to shove their carts out of the way. People treat shopping carts the way they treat cars - as if it’s a big problem to run into something. With shopping carts, it isn’t. So I bang into the buggers all the time. Funny how people wince when you hit their cart - it’s like you ran over their freaking toes! of course, I do try to shift their carts out of my way, rather than actually banging into them, I do say “excuse me,” I don’t actually shove the PEOPLE attached to the carts (though sometimes I’d like to).
I have a bigger problem with people that stand in the middle of the escalator, when I want to walk. Because they’re not shopping carts, so I hesitate to just shove them out of my way. Maybe I’ll start.
Our local ShopRite has aisles so wide you can drive a Army tank through them and people still block the aisles. If they’re talking to someone, I ask “Couldn’t you do this somewhere else?” I move their cart, saying “Excuse me,” of course.
If the place is really crowded, I start holding bizzare conversations with imaginary people. It’a truly amazing how people step out of your way when you do that.
Let us not forget the creamed corn with spam bits displays that supermarkets insist on putting right in the middle of every fuckin’ aisle in the store!
[sub]oops, clumsy me, I accidentally ran my cart into the display, now little cans are rolling around everywhere. Umm…excuse me, please, clean up on aisle 4[/sub]
jinwicked the sour cream and onion flavor is good, but have you tried the smokey bacon? Food of the Gods I tell ya!
I give 'em two “excuse me’s” before I ram 'em. And if they have their baby strapped to the front of the cart like a bumper, so much the better—my paint won’t get scratched.
My favourite one is when they stoop down to look at a product, but keep one hand on the trolley and angle it diagonally across the aisle, blocking it completely; they always look so shocked and pitiful when I ram them at speed.
I don’t seem to have a problem at any of the local Food Lions.
Oh sure, occasionally someone will have parked their cart in the middle of the aisle, but 9 times out of 10, a polite “Excuse me…” will result in the offender waking up and quickly moving the cart aside. The other time, I follow up with, “mind if I move your cart out of the way?” as I proceed to gently steer it to the side. Even in that situation, the whole thing takes maybe 10 seconds, and I’m on my way again.
If only every silly obstacle in life was as easy to remove.
I don’t have this problem. I rarely even have to say “excuse me.”
Like all things in life, there are tactics that can make a situation easier. I stear clear of aisles that are crowed or blocked by an A.H. If I need something in a blocked aisle, I abandon the cart in an out-of-the-way place and go in on foot.
If worse comes to worse, I peg them in the head with a large can of baked beans or some canned peas. Fuckers drop like a sack of potatoes. The important thing is chosing the impact point. It’s like falling a tree. You gotta make sure they fall the right way.
#1 advantage: I never block my fellow humans’ way. #2 advantage: greatly improved mobility to slip nimbly around obstacles like a good Taoist.
Is it a disadvantage to limit the amount of stuff I can collect in one shopping trip? Not at all. Using a hand basket prevents me from buying too much stuff!
