Three times in the last year or two, I’ve annoyed people while pushing my shopping cart. They thought I was being rude when I actually thought I was being polite. I get kinda upset when perfect strangers are nasty to me, so please tell me if I did something wrong. This is long, so if you’re bored already, please just ignore my ramblings.
I didn’t return the cart to the rack in the parking lot. I get this one. I know you should, but I don’t if it’s not nearby. And this is the worst-designed parking lot I’ve ever seen: every other aisle has either 2 or zero cart racks. At any rate, wasn’t it a little extreme for some lady to proceed to chastise me at length about it? I felt miserable, which I suppose was her intent, but I didn’t feel wrong.
A very large woman was moving veeery sloooowly through the grocery store entrance. I waited patiently behind her while she chose her cart, put in her purse, and limped through the door and past the first few impulse-buy obstacles. As soon as there was room, I passed her (comparatively quickly, but I didn’t think my speed was excessive). She said something as I went by that I didn’t quite catch. I turned back, smiled politely, and asked “what?”. She said, “I’m sorry for you, that you have to be in such a hurry.” I didn’t know what to say.
I was idly browsing in Wal-Mart one day. An older lady was pushing her cart (again very slowly) down the right side of the center aisle. She was obviously limping and leaning on the cart for support. I noticed from a long way off that we were on a collision course, and I was nearly done in that section of the store. So as she came closer, I veered left to pass her on my way out. I did this specifically to make it so that she did not have to change direction for me… I was trying to help. As I went by she said, “Excuuse me!” as if she thought I was mad at her for being in my way or something.
I’ve been pushing shopping carts for several years now, but it seems lately I’m offending people. Is it me, or is it them? I honestly feel bad inside when total strangers think badly of me enough to snark at me for it.:o
Well you were. Those carts roll around, and block parking spaces, and driveways. I hate having to get out of my car to move a cart, which shouldn’t even be there, out of my way. I always wonder what kind of lazy bastard couldn’t be bothered to drop off the cart in place before leaving.
You should have said “Fuck you.” Kidding! I’m not sure why it offends her that you walked around here. If you weren’t doing that annoying heavy sigh thing that people do, or rushing her in any other way, I really don’t know why you moving faster than she does bothers her. Maybe people are chronically irritated by her slowness, so she’s on the defensive about it.
Same as before. I don’t know why moving around her would bother her. Did you bump into her or her cart or anything?
In the last two situations, it seems the women were having a bad day.
Situation number one, however, is a different story. While I personally wouldn’t say anything to you in that situation, I would be irritated. It doesn’t take that much energy to push a cart back to the rack. It’s irritating to see carts just left in a parking slot taking up space where one should conceivably be able to park if a car or motorcyle isn’t occupying it. Additionally, carts have a nasty habit of rolling into other cars when they’re not corralled.
Yes, I know. And I’m certain there could be lovely discussion for months as to the reasons we do the things we do. But would you chastise a stranger over it?
I don’t think so.
No where near. Again, it seems to be the speed differential that bothers folks. Sort of like when my father is annoyed by every driver (in cars) that goes faster than he does.
You should return your carts. Sure, its a pain in the ass sometimes, but it is the right thing to do. Personally, I try to carry my stuff in bags w/o a cart whenever possible.
I would have called her on it. You should have said “Excuse me?” and made her repeat it. Chances are she would have been unwilling to do so. Even if she did I would have then told her “Why yes, I am in a hurry…but I would have been considerate enough to make room for other customers to go by…I feel sorry for you that you’re not as considerate.”
But then I don’t have a lot of patience for fat slow moving people. Sue me, I have a problem with obesity.
Thats easy. just shout back 'You’re excused." and keep going.
Snark back. Or do what I do at times…go into a store with a “I-might-be-a-crazy-person” death glare. People generally stay out of my way.
Some people are just cranky.
Plus it’s been hot lately.
Don’t make too much out of this kind of stuff, it’ll make you nuts. Next thing you know you’ll be wandering grocery stores accosting random people with insults.
First one - yeah, you were in the wrong. Maybe the cart corral isn’t close enough for your pleasure; too bad. Walk the extra 20 feet and put it away properly.
Second and third one - I have a feeling your body language is saying things you aren’t really aware of. When I walk on someone’s heels then whizz right past them as soon as possible, I can see them feeling a little, “Well, excuuuuuuse me!” Or they were just cranky women having cranky days.
I wish I was the quick and witty retort type. Instead I go home and stew about it, thinking of all the things I wish I’d said. I wish I’d told woman #2 that she had no idea what’s going on in my life… maybe I was in a hurry to the pharmacy for medicine to treat my screaming infant’s ear infection… maybe not… but who’s she to decide who deserves admonition and who doesn’t?
Put the fracking cart back where it belongs. How would you like it if you got home and some random shopping cart was blocking your driveway?
and 3. Probably the other people being jerky but you might want to tone down any non verbal cues/body language you might be giving off unintenionally. And perhaps slow down just a bit just to keep the peace if nothing else.
Sounds like the people you are meeting are all pricks, but it was also pretty dickish of you to leave the cart in the lot. So just chalk it up to “what goes around comes around” and you’re even.
Way too much crazy to unload on someone at the super market. Just say “I’m sorry your carriage doesn’t allow you to move at a normal human’s pace.” Or, if you don’t want to take a cheap shot, you can go with Jolly Roger’s suggestion and say, “I’m sorry you can’t be considerate of other people’s time and space.”
As others stated, you should put the cart back. ALDI’s charges a quarter for the cart that is given back when the cart is returned. They never have unreturned carts. Cart return is mandatory on windy days or slanted parking lots to prevent vehicle damage caused by you after you leave. When I shop, I will purposely bring in a cart from the lot if it’s on my way anyway. Can’t say I always get this one right myself when in a big hurry in a wide open lot like the edge of Wal-Mart.
People sometimes have no lives. They may be compromised physically and feel resentful. They make comments. The best thing to do is smile and move on rather than entertain the interaction, which is their fondest desire.
I always take my cart back to the pen now, but when I had three children under five…yeah. Whatever. If I wandered off to find the proper place for the cart, they would have locked themselves in the van and probably sacrificed the youngest. And there were times when I was chemo’d to the eyeballs and getting a gallon of milk to the car was about as far as I could make it without passing out. So I don’t judge too much.
I used to be all impatient and hurry-up-you-fools, but realized I looked pretty grumpy and childish by showing it to the uninterested world. I now keep all my frustrations properly bottled up inside so I don’t piss anyone off :p. … I’ll return the cart 9 times out of 10, I like to give it a push and watch it go crashing into the other carts in the corral . … As for those comments from strangers, well, people are ass-ish. Maybe they were having a bad day. I would smile politely and ignore them. … One time I was standing in line and my shopping cart ever so slightly accidentally bumped the hindquarters of a sweet little old gray haired lady standing with her husband in front of me. I heard her mutter to him something along the lines of "If she does that again I’ll ram a shopping cart right up that bitch’s ass ". :eek: So it could be worse.
While you should have returned the cart in the first story, it was also quite rude of her to ‘chastise you at length’ about it.
If she felt she had to say something, she should have kept it brief (“Could you please return your cart to a rack, otherwise they cause inconvenience to others” or the like) and then let it go.
I usually go with a quizzical stare, like you would give someone who just spoke to you in a foreign language. Hold it for a second or two without saying anything, looking politely puzzled the whole time, then move on without responding in the slightest.
This makes people completely nutzoid. It is hilarious to watch.
Also, return your goddamn shopping cart to the corral. It’s not like it’s difficult. (Addressed to the OP, not Mean.)
I say “Excuse me” whenever I am passing someone and they had to shift out of the way to allow me past. To me it is acknowledging the fact that I caused minor inconvenience and I appreciate the gesture they made by moving. Of course, I am Canadian and super polite.
Now that I typed that out I just noticed the double u indicating sarcasm. I am going to go with the idea that it was the doppler effect causing attenuation in the tone and she was just trying to be polite.
But if you return the cart to the corral you can push it really hard and ride it all the way there! Then slam it into the back of the others in some sort of macabre shopping cart gangbang. I draw the line at moving the carts back and forth in a suggestive motion though.
I’ve been known to be jackass at the store. I was at WinCo and on a busy Sunday afternoon. Now, normally I hate going to the grocery store because crowds irritate me, and the ire was already starting. I’d just pulled my cart out of the pile when a little old lady couldn’t decide if she needed a soda or to go inside. Her empty cart was sideways blocking the entrance completely. There were five other shoppers there all staring at her but no one seemed to want to say anything.
So I did. I said “For fuck sake I don’t have time to wait for your slow ass!” and I pushed her cart aside with my own leaving a huge hole and strolled merrily on my way, the winner of the WinCo Demolition Derby. I don’t know or care if she was even aware of what I did.
