I always say ‘excuse me’ when I am trying to get past some clueless dolt who is blocking my way. However, I find that saying just once never seems to work. Usually, when I raise my voice and repeat it for the 3rd or 4th time is when my presence actually sinks in.
Tasers.
The electronic “s’cuse me”
I have discovered that there is a particular tone and inflection of Excuse me that the brain automatically interprets as GET YOUR A** OUT OF THE WAY YOU F*****G MORON! in most cases. For those that are too dense/clueless/entitled to make that connection I feel entirely justified in using my cart as a cow catcher.
There’s a thought. We should start a grass-roots campaign to have Wal-Mart/Costco/Whole Foods/Everywhere install cow catchers on their carts just like the old steam locomotives.
I prefer “Pardon me,” spoken as a command.
Yes! I’m going to start using that. I can hear it now… 
I actually had someone blocking a pathway in front of me today. When I said, “Excuse me,” she barely moved, not even leaving space for me to squeeze by. Fucking idiot. I had to say, “Still can’t get through!” for her to move over just a teeny tad. If she hadn’t been a scary bitch who was a lot bigger than me, I might have been more aggressive about it. But I’m not trying to make a scene with someone that fucking stupid.
Sooo glad I’ve taught my daughter to park the cart to one side, look back and forth for other shoppers we may be blocking, and then select the desired item, put it in the cart, and get the fuck outta the way. She will be a considerate shopper/person, hopefully.
One day, we stood for five minutes, glancing at one another, while the oblivious person with cart in the middle of the aisle sampled every fucking fragrance of air freshener by poofing it and then making closed-eye head-shaking moments. By the time she was done, my daughter was ready to bust a gut laughing, and the aisle smelled of oceanbreezepineforestcocoanutvanillacinnamonhorsetwatappleraspberrybusdepotmensroomrumraisinfratpartyvomit.
I had a recent experience of this. Two women were talking, almost blocking the aisle at the supermarket. So as not to interrupt their conversation I tried to squeeze past and my hand basket bumped one woman’s trolley. She said, “A simple ‘excuse me’ would work.”
Since I figured I was trying to be polite I responded, “Not blocking the fucking aisle would work even better.”
Not one of my better moments but hell neither of them made any effort to move when I was approaching.
Move to Canada. You bump into someone, they apologize.
Anyway - good show, don’t ask.
Absolutely - I mastered that tone years ago. You have to phrase it less like you’re making a request, and more like you’re barking an order. I’ve found it works best if you say it with an undertone of jovial urgency, as if you find it inconceivable that anyone would even think of getting your way.
“'Scuse me! 'Scuse me! Heads up! Coming through! Thank you!”
Man, I’ve gotten a lot less confrontational as I’ve gotten older. I used to simply shove dumbasses out of my way. Not to say I never said excuse me, I was always an excuse me type of person, and generally when I was thin I would make efforts to squeeze through tight spaces, but if someone just filled the space I would simply shove them out of my way. I’ve done this to guys A LOT bigger than me, that’s the most fun, when you know they want to intimidate you with their bulk, and you’re like, “Oh shit I’m gonna get pummeled.”, then the moment of realization hits and you both realize he’s not gonna do shit. That’s a fabulous feeling.
Some people are just twats. One time this lady was blocking the aisle, and it turned out she was extremely pregnant and frustrated that there was no seat. So after taking it out on me that I pushed past her to get on, with her, “I’m pregnant speech.”, I politely asked another guy who was sitting to get up to let the pregnant lady sit. He was very nice and a bit embarassed that he hadn’t noticed her, though they was no reason why he should have. She was a little sheepish about having snapped at me, but I had a pregnant wife at the time and was very empathetic to pregnant women at the time.
So it can go either way, sometimes being nice to someone who is in a foul mood is fun, and sometimes being a dick to someone who’s being an ass is fun.
Most of the time excuse me is just fine, but sometimes people either don’t care or are utterly oblivious and need to get pushed.
Yeah, that’s pretty much the standard for New York. I think that’s the usual way I say excuse me. When it’s inappropriate I think I actually affect an overly humble excuse me so it doesn’t sound so in your face. On the subway though it’s just a euphemism for, ‘Get out of my fucking way.’
God I hate when people step onto the subway just enough for them to get on despite there being plenty of room in front of them and obviously 5 people behind. That’s when excuse me is accompanied by a shove. Or when you are getting off the subway and some jackass jumps right in front of the door to be the first on. I don’t move aside one inch. Generally I walk forward making them take a few steps back only to be the last person on after everyone who politely stepped to the side gets on.
And the only one sure to be noticed by some of these clueless wonders.
Recently I took a woman to task for entering an elevator when I was trying to exit it. I told her that I WAS going to exit on this floor, one way or another, and if she came barrelling into the elevator, she’d just have to wait until I picked myself up and exited. I also pointed out that this was a fucking HOSPITAL, and thus some people might be a bit unsteady on their legs and easily knocked down. She started to bluster that she was in a hurry, and then I told her, as I was holding the door, that now she was even later, all because she didn’t use either common sense or courtesy.
Yes, I CAN be a bitch when I feel like it. Sometimes I don’t even have to try.
Tone works even better if you substititute “HOT SOUP!” for “Heads up!”
Nobody wants to be scalded, even if they can’t see the soup.
I’m usually fairly perceptive when it comes to when I might be in someone’s way, but I hate it when on the very infrequent occasions I might be, that someone just pushes past me and makes no effort to alert me to the fact they’re trying to get past. This happened most recently at a gig when I was knocked off my feet by some idiot who wasn’t even trying to ‘get past’ but was just charging through the crowd. (Yeah, it’s a ‘punk gig’, so that means your 40 year old self has to act all ‘punk’. :rolleyes: ) I do shout after the offender, Can you not fucking say Excuse me?!!, as I think they’ve been rude first so they damn well deserve it.
I admit though I have occasionally done the ducking and diving behind someone at the supermarket to get something off the shelf. I think that’s because I remember those occasions where I say ‘Excuse me’ politely three times, they’re oblivious because they just have to stand there reading the label on every freakin’ packet of pasta, so I end up bellowing EXCUSE ME! in a somewhat harsh tone and thus being a rude trolley-rage type. I’d rather reach behind someone if it’s easier rather than unleashing the Tesco wrath on some poor little old lady. 
This is why I like being 6’9" and 300#. People tend to notice my looming presence with enough time to get out of the way. Except for the slack-jawed oglers who can’t help but point out, “Wow, you’re tall.” Thanks for the newsflash!
Damn you.
Neither sadness nor fury would be the first emotion to come to me.
I’m using that one the next time I’m at the DMV.
Funny thing, I noticed myself refraining from saying “excuse me” just yesterday at the grocery store. I thought about it, and concluded the reason was close to one of those you gave. I can’t recall any instances of hostile reactions to “excuse me” but the anticipation of such a hostile reaction is definitely what keeps me quiet. I don’t know why I anticipate such a reaction, but I do. So instead, I go around, or I just stand there til they start paying attention to their surroundings.
-FrL-
I can’t read these at work. Dead silence and then I read this. Silence is broken by my unhinged laughter. I could totally see this. Awesome. LOL!
I always say excuse me when I want to get pass someone. If they move out of the way I then say thank you as I pass.
But if they’re one of those assholes who pretend not to hear me then I slightly raise my voice and say excuse me as I just push pass them.