World leaders should personally taunt one another

Just a stupid mundane thought.

Wouldn’t it be sorta funny if world leaders dealt with each other more like WWF wrestlers?

IIRC a few months ago Saddam challenged Dubya to a duel. I think it would have been pretty amusing if he had called saddam some “bitch ass” and flew out there and taunted him from the desert, telling him he wasn’t a man and such, and to come out there and meet him. I would totally do this if I was president, which I intend to run for when I’m 35. I would also challenge Kim Jong II to a ultimate fighting match.

I don’t watch WWF, but this I’d pay to see. :slight_smile:

As between the President of the US, Saddam, the Dear Leader of North Korea, the Chancellor of Germany, The French and British Prime Ministers and what ever the guy who heads the government of Belgium is called, I thought they were doing a pretty good job of it as things are.

That would be pretty cool.

How much would you pay to see Chirac telling Blair-

“You wiper of other people’s bottoms!”

It could get interesting, what with all the languages and stuff:

The ring announcer speaks. “In the left corner, in the red-white-and-blue trunks, we have George W Bush, president of the Yooo-nited States of America, the Texas Slammer, the Man with the Plan, George W Bush!!”

Cheering and booing, flag waving.

“And in the right corner, in the green-black-and-white trunks, we have Saddam Hussein, president of the Islamic Republic of Iraq, the Ruler of Baghdad, the Terror of Kurdistan, Saddam Hussein!!”

Cheering and booing, flag waving.

“And in the far corner, in the red trunks, we have Kim Jong-Il, president for life of the Peoples’ Democratic Republic of Korea, the Great Architect of Juche, the Dear Leader, Kim Jong-Il!!”

Cheering and booing, flag waving.

“We’ve locked them together in the titanium-reinforced Cage of Doom for this top-rank International Grudge Match!!!

Delirious cheering. Bookies are frantically taking bets in the audience.

"The referees have explained the rules to the contestants, but we’ll repeat them for our international viewing audience. Each contenstant must taunt the others. Every nuance of their native tongues is allowed. And remember…

The last one standing wins!


Let’s get ready…



Delirious cheering and hooting of boat horns and chanting. Flags and caps fill the air; then the hall grows silent.

The referees release the contestants.

George W Bush: “Saddam, you’re lower than a snake’s belly.”
Saddam Hussein: “*Buŝaĉo, vi estas kulpe kiel bastonfrapita hundo!"
Kim Jong-Il: "Bush, ton esprit a posé un lapin à ton corps.

All three contestants stop and stare at each other. An awkward silence ensues. The audience grows restless.

Bush tries again: “Kim, you’re nuttier than a fruitcake.”

The other two contestants simply stand there with puzzled looks on their faces. All three contestants look around uneasily. It is clear that no-one has understood anyone.

Suddenly the cage shakes as something hits it. Someone in the audience has thrown half a hotdog at the contenstants. Amid screams of, “We wanted a fight, you losers!” the air fills with packaging and half-eaten food. Elite presidential guards from three nations rush the stage as the thudding of helicopters becaomes audible over the noise of the crowd…

[sub]In the interest of legibility, Esperanto has been suubstituted for Arabic**
In the interest of legibility, very bad Franch has been substituted for Korean*
***Mostly because I don’t know Arabic or Korean.[/sub]

C’mon now, haven’t you guys seen Rocky IV?!?

“I must breeeeaak you.”

Well, we could always make Jesse Ventura the next president. Then we’ll get something like that.

“Saddam, I’m coming for you. Right here! Right now! In the RING!”

Though I’m sure Stallone could substitute(for ventura) if needed.

Iraq challenges Bush to a duel. The president turned down the opportunity.

That’s what I would do if I were president.

PS. Vote for me in 2024

Someone (possibly George Carlin?) once suggested that all international disputes should be settled by having the leaders of the respective countries fight it out with socks full of shit.

Oh, now that I would pay big money to see.

By the way, have any of you ever been to ? I think their site is down right now, but when it’s up you have to go try it.

You type in two words. Say, Johnson is number one, and Smith is number two. Then Google searches Johnson and Smith, and whichever word that gets the most hits wins!

The fight of the month in January was USA versus IRAQ.
In case you’re interested, USA won.

Dude, the King. You know…? The king of Belgium? Dude?

Isn’t that sort of redundant? :smiley:

I think having them thumb-wrestle would be pretty cool. We could start electing presidents on the basis of how lithe and strong their thumbs were.

Pretty soon we’d start genetically engineering a race of super-thumbed elite, who would never see the light of day due to spending their entire lives in monastic, ecstatic study of thumb-wrestling. They’d be able to break the head off a parking meter with one flick of their mighty thumbs.

And when it came time for a showdown with Iraq, they’d send their best “thumber” and we’d send ours to a neutral spot–possibly Reykjavik–and then we would just go ahead and settle things once and for all.

“One, two, three, four, let’s have a thumb-war” would become a chilling indicator that diplomacy has failed and the time to act is upon us.

The other night, at TKD, we decided something like this - that instead of wars, just have the head of states spar each other. But then you get a problem like Britian, because I’m sure some wuss would try and claim that the Queen is actually the head of state. And beating up an old woman, especially a queen, is just WRONG.

Hey, what about, like, the Hollywood Cliched Death Contraption Test? Like in Austin Powers - toss a bunch of world leaders in, say, a shark-infested pool. There’s a way for only ONE to escape, so whoever escapes, wins. The others…make sharks happy and well-fed.

De la merde dans un bas de soie? It has a grand tradition, that’s for sure…

Saddam has personally killed people before (when he was a revolutionary & young adult) but Bush can run a mile in 7 minutes. So it would be fun to watch Saddam chase a running Bush, just turn on the theme song from Benny Hill and watch international diplomacy at its best.

matt, does it have to be silk? I think a rugged cotton blend would hold the shit better and allow for a longer duel.

It just has to be silk if it’s Talleyrand.