One is frequently attacked by gigantic scourges of God, against whom the only real defense is the mightest of their number. But hey, you can just move from Tokyo to Kyoto and you should be fine.
The other is beset the history’s most devious and successful serial killer, who not only roams the country committing murders, not only has the police convinced she’s solving the cases, but regularly tricks innocent people into committing suicide to cover up her crimes.
Thoughts?
Godzilla’s Japan is worse. Giant Scourges of God (band name!) can kill many at a time - Ms. Fletcher, for all her evil and cunning, is mostly limited to the odd solitary murder. Besides which, Giant Scourges of God wreak havoc on national infrastructure and economies - serial killers really don’t. Given the choice, I’d live in Fletcher’s America, and simply flee, screaming, from any little old ladies I happened to run into.
ETA: I think you meant the thread title to be “Worst Place to Live,” unless you’re suggesting that monsters or Fletcher might try to prevent your flight from the country. Which isn’t impossible in Fletcher’s case, actually.
I already reported it.
Changed “leave” to “live” in thread title at OP’s request.
You can usually tell when Godzilla is coming to kill you, which levels the playing field - as well as the buildings beside the playing field, but you know what I mean. Also, Godzilla is a force of nature - he doesn’t particulary dislike anyone, except maybe Ghidorah and those guys, and he seems to actually like some people and pixies.
Jessica, on the other hand is some kind of evil ancient ninja/Moriarty hybrid who is eventually going to kill everyone. Safer to avoid her.
I pick: Gojira! Gojira!
You are a wonderful woman, beloved by all. Please watch out for the Fletcher-beast, for she preys on folk like you.
I don’t know. You can at least see Godzilla as he makes his way to your town, but you’ll never know when you will be overwhelmed with a sudden impulse to off yourself for a crime you never committed all because some old biddy just checked in at the Holiday Inn Express.
In the first place, your description of Mrs. Fletcher should have included “mutant telepath with less scruples than Emma Frost, though sadly not as hot a bod.”
In the second place, while you have a point about Godzilla, I don’t think you expressed it quite correctly. I mean, Godzilla’s never coming after any single person, whereas Fletcher clearly chooses her victims carefully.
In the third place, what, exactly, happened to her husband? What’s the official story on his widowhood? Because I’m thinking the Raymond Burr character from the Americanized Godzilla is the right age, and …
I at least have the luxury of leaving town the moment I see or hear about Ms. Fletcher being around. It is a little more difficult to leave town when Gojira visits. That and I can at least be sure that THE TOWN will still be there when I get back after Fletcher comes through.
Killings are one at a time near Fletcher. They’re multiple with Godzilla – not to mention the property damage. You just couldn’t get decent insurance in Tokyo if he’s around.
If you lived in Godzilla’s Japan, and you worked in the construction industry, you’d never be out of work.
Maybe you can, for enough money. There was a GQ thread several years back on the question. I’m searching for it, but the search engine is crashing.
And then returning nothing. So until someone else outdoes my search-fail-fu, I’ll just toss out the question: What if Jessica Fletcher was visiting Tokyo during a Godzilla (Gojira) attack?
ETA: Found it.
I’d be wary if I were Godzilla - God only knows what JF would be able to pin on the poor beast. And if I were Mothra, I’d worry about those sudden suicidal impulses…
Frequently you’ll have died mysteriously right as she arrives. Sometimes a little before, sometimes a little after. It’s like having a Time Lord who is a serial killer…
…looks up contact information for BBC Wales.
Right. Godzilla is a force of nature. He may kill you, but just because you were in the wrong place, not because of who you are. Jessica will kill you because you’re you, and because it pleases her in some way to kill you. However, eventually she’s going to get around to killing everyone, especially as she is an ancient evil, and may well be immortal. *
*We would be the coolest message board of all time if we just had a Cthulhu smiley.
Godzilla’s Japan is thrilling in a fascist-glory way that Jessica Fletcher’s America is not. And we don’t know how many other bizarre random murders take place in Jessica Fletcher’s world. Perhaps it’s just endemic to her corner of reality.
Yet I picked the option, “First of, it’s “Gojira.” Second, I’d no more love in his territory than Gotham City,” even though that’s misleading. I would recruit Gojira to level Gotham City.
Alas, the brief experiment with a Cthulhu smiley on the old AOL board led to some … unpleasantness. Less said of it, the better - suffice to say that the Board was required to move shortly thereafter, and this was also the time at which AOL’s precipitous decline suddenly took off. It seems that a number of the more talented sysadmins became rather less than well.
Anyway, I agree that Fletcher is an ancient and implacable evil, and that she will eventually destroy all mankind. However, the “eventually” is a key word - eventually, the Sun itself will scourge Earth clean of all life, but we won’t live to see it. Fletcher moves somewhat faster, of course - but still, she’s only killed fewer than a hundred people over the decades in which we’ve recorded her glacially bloody-minded rampage. The odds are very much against Fletcher getting to me, personally, before I die of old age.
As for your point regarding Fletcher’s superior capacity for malice and sadism - it’s true, but what of it? Dead is dead, and death at Godzilla’s hands is scarcely going to be gentle or pleasant either.
Dude, Batman has three Kryptonians, three Flashes, and at least half a dozen Green Lanterns on speed-dial. Plus the frakking Spectre, though he’s generally useless. The Justice League takes care of kaiju before the main adventure begins.
I don’t understand why there’s any question. Mrs. Fletcher is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.
Pardon me, I have to get back to my game of solitaire.
Don’t leave your tea unattended.