Steer.
I’m thinking a sloth the slowest moving mammal in the world that lives among faster and stronger predators…I wouldn’t last long but atleast I could come back as somebody’s pet dog.
Okay I once read this great comic book story by Sergio Aragones.
There was this millionaire who was a complete bastard. The only thing he worried about was the possibility that he would get punished in the afterlife for all his bad deeds. So he hired a bunch of scientists to figure out some kind of immortality potion so he wouldn’t die.
Unfortunately they weren’t able to make the immortality potion. But they did invent a reincarnation potion so that when the millionaire died he would be reincarnated. He died and got reincarnated as a pig.
The story then showed the millionaire as a pig. But he wasn’t worried. He figured that being a pig was bad but there wouldn’t be any temptations for him to do anything evil. So eventually he’d die again and because he had lived a good life as a pig he’d get reincarnated back as a human being.
But then the millionaire/pig realized he was in a lab. His own lab, where the scientists were saying it was too bad that he hadn’t lived just a few days longer because they had finally succeeded in inventing an immortality formula. All they needed to do was test it on some animal and the animal would live forever. Some animal like a pig…
Of course, everybody’s thoughts on this are based on an extremely anthropo-centric idea that we are somehow so far removed from all of these lifeforms and that it must be so much greater to be human. Why must we seperate ourselves from life like this? The only reason we think like this is because of ego. The whole reincarnation as something horrible bit is along the same lines and intended to have the same effect as the old “burning in hell for eternity” bit. It’s fundie Buddhism/Hinduism.
I bet you’re a lot of fun at parties, devilsknew. 
Male Emperor Penguin.
They stand around with an egg on their feet through the antarctic winter, in the swirling winds, 100 degrees plus below zero, in the dark, without eating. The only way they survive is to huddle together in slowing moving groups.
Dante would have been appalled.
A caterpillar on the floor of a free-weight excercise area, like I saw at the gym today. Clearly, a disaster waiting to happen.
None of the aforementioned critters would be so bad as long as I wasn’t Irish!
Oh I dunno about that particular generalization. I think that it’d pretty much suck to have your skin ripped off no matter what kind of critter you are. 'course, that could just be my anthrocentric opinion. I’m sure most furrier critters positively get off on it.
Ah, Sergio. Thanks for reminding me of his twisty plots, Little Nemo. It’s been too long.