Gotta go with Dickens. Victorian novels are torture to read as it is, but Dickens wrote far and away the most unreadable novels ever. “Our Mutal Friend?” I DARE you to get through the first 100 pages (600+ total).
Any others?
Hoo boy, talk about opening a can of worms.
I’ll go for J.D. Salinger. I don’t have the energy for a spirited analysis of the parallels between him and James Fenimore Cooper, so I’ll just stick for a glib comment that also neatly refutes the opening argument of this post (though it’s nothing personal):
When Dickens writes, it is about the human condition. When Salinger writes, it’s pretty much a little twit whining.
I opened the thread planning on mentioning Dickens, not knowing he was mentioned in the OP.
I can’t help but wonder how many people are turned off literature and reading in general because of being forced to read that stuff. I was, almost.
Saul Bellow gets my vote for the most impenetrable crap.
I don’t get you Dickens-haters, though.
I’m a huge Dickens fan.
I absolutely cannot stand Salinger and Stephen Crane though. Both authors drove me bananas.
And I’ll probably have my Southern citizenship revoked for saying it, but I always detested Faulkner. What is the point of a three-page-long sentence? Quit with the verbal gymnastics and tell a story fer cryin’ out loud.
Dickens is one of those authors that schools teach people to hate. He was the Victorian Stephen King, so obviously there was some vitality there. But my interest waned through Great Expectations and completely stomped in David Copperfield. Endless, laborious, tortured analysis of every damned paid-by-the-word chapter…shudder.
I survived most of the authors by reading the books on my own, then doing crosswords during class, tuning in when the discussions became interesting. Even with that, Hawthorne was rough going, so he’s my nominee for Deadliest Dead Author.
Veb
I like Dickens now…I like his stories, just HATE the way they are taught.
Shakespeare, when taught poorly, can be royally screwed up. Don’t get me wrong, I love the Bard-Macbeth all the way-but Romeo and Juliet was the first we read. I think it’s tripe.
And the way it was taught…forget it. I didn’t get into Shakespeare until I was in 12th grade, when we FINALLY got to Macbeth.
I can’t think of any bad authors off hand. But most of them, when not delt with well by teachers, can end up reviled.
There were too many books I hated when in school to list them all here.
I think it is more important to get people reading, rather than force them to read something which they do not like and perhaps turn them off reading altogether.
One thing which has always puzzled me is why certain authors are considered literary greats, and others are not. It appears to be mainly down to the age of the work (although I’m sure it isn’t).
I did hate doing Shakespear because the language itself was so hard to understand. You were working so hard to understand what was actually being said and what was happening that it was almost impossible to enjoy the story or whatever.
TTFN
Rick
Shakespeare.
I’ve read epics written in 14th-century English that were easier to understand than the Bard’s 16th-century plays. Blech.
I’m stunned that Shakespeare is even being mentioned here, but I suppose my OP wasn’t clear: I THINK I meant which author considered “classic” is the worst writer, not which taught author is most unappreciated by teenagers. Also, to be precise, Shakespeare was writing stageplays to be performed, not simply “stories” to be read. This is something that schoolkids probably don’t understand completely. Shakespeare’s writing is absolutely beautiful, especially his sonnets. (“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”)
That said, I stand by my choice of Charles Dickens as an awful writer. Even “Jane Eyre” reads like “Raiders Of The Lost Ark” compared to anything Dickens wrote.
Hawthorne. More specifically, The Scarlett Letter. It may just be because I had a teacher who spent 2 months going over the symbolism in that book, but I really can’t stand it.
A hearty amen to that. I sometimes think that authors subconsciously signal their poorer efforts by their titles, e.g. The Sound and the Fury (as the rest of the quote refers to a tale told by an idiot, signifying nothing.)
I feel about the Faulkerian swamps of meaning as Twaid did about Cooper in his famous essay.
TWAIN, dangit, TWAIN!
(smacks hand on forehead)
I loved Mark Twain. Ditto Jane Austen and the Brontes.
spoke and Hometownboy speak for me–Faulkner is the worst. Being a Southerner doesn’t mean I can’t smell tripe when it’s flung in my face. The Reivers is the most obnoxiously pointless thing on which I was ever required to write a report–I read roughly every fifth chapter, wrote the report, and my teacher (a Faulkner fan :rolleyes: ) never noticed the difference. I’m convinced that it’s because nothing happens in the other 80% of the book either.
Dickens probably comes in as second on my hate parade. The most readable thing he ever wrote was A Christmas Carol, and I’d rather watch the Muppet version (with a kazoo band accompanying the songs) than read it.
Guin, I don’t think Hometownboy was complaining about Twain–he just referenced a Twain essay in his complaint about Faulkner. If that’s not what you meant, I apologize. I’ve always liked Twain myself, crusty old bastard that he was.
As for Shakespeare…well, the plays are a mixed bag. Some don’t impress me (I never liked R&J), and some are wonderful (Merchant of Venice is a favorite). His sonnets are excellent. Of course, I never found the dialect difficult; Beowulf in the orinigal (written) dialect, now that was difficult!
Man, if Nathaniel Hawthorne were alive today, I would tear that guy a new asshole. We read not only The Scarlet Letter (finished it tonight), but his friggin short stories also.
Hawthorne: “This is a duck. It’s a symbol. LOOK AT THE SYMBOLISM IN THIS DUCK! Puritans are bad people.”
That’s what it is allllll like. He’s so my poop.
I’ll ditto Dickens. I’ve never loathed any piece of literary lemur dung more than Great Expectations. To this day, I’d gleefully kick that little wuss Pip in the nads.
Allow me to cast my vote for Dickens. I gleefully flunked high school freshman English rather than read Great Expectations.
Silas Marner ranks a close second.
Robin
I vote for Hawthorne. I’m not saying that Dickens is my favorite, but I’d rather read Bleak House (1000 pages?) than Scarlet Letter (200) any day.