It must be a law in these kinds of threads that some obnoxious kind of management-speak usage will turn out to have hundreds of years of precedent. It bites me in the ass all the time.
Still, if everybody started wearing data-display monocles, it’s still a dumb fad even though monocles are hundreds of years old. Maybe even dumber, for exactly that reason.
First and foremost, use “the client” please. “The client” is how you refer to your client.
Secondly, we have a very good work for things we have learnt. They are called “lessons.”
Much better.
I lost about 10 minutes of my life when a previous boss used “operationalization” in a sentence. For 10 minutes I went blank as I tried to break it down enough to figure out what he was saying. It might have been a seizure. I still don’t know what he meant.
My current boss says “schedule pressure” instead of “I’m not going to make that deadline. Here’s when you can have your product.” Because it’s too negative to say you’re going to miss a deadline (even though that’s what is happening).
We need to kickoff a action item to provide value-added deliverables providing a low total cost of ownership while maximizing billable hours and providing optimal stakeholder satisfaction while following a Six Sigma methodology according to the defined project plan.
And they are not your god.
I didn’t know you were on my 9:00 conference call earlier! 
not really manager speak, but i hate it when tv pundits during the olympics say “to medal” as in to finish in the top three.
i also recently had a sales manager ask me what my estimated ETA was… it made me wonder what the “e” stood for…
Ney York Times
MARCH 5, 2014
One Part Mr. Peanut, One Part Hipster Chic
The Monocle Returns as a Fashion Accessory
I dunno, I quite liked that.
It shows how English is inventive and flexible. I guess the German approach would have been to mash the whole sentence into a new compound word like “Indentopdreifertigened”, but instead someone has simply and elegantly encapsulated the whole meaning in a single word.
I want to punch people who use “impact” when they’re not talking about a meteor strike.
Sweet zombie Jeebus, I can’t believe I’m able to parse that.
Nitpick: “… kickoff AN action item” please.
ETA: Antigen, you can also impact those folks.
THAT’S IT! If only you’d thrown in a few acronyms you could have been the guy I talked to yesterday (and hopefully not again)!
While we are at it, this one isn’t business related, but since when is “over top” ok? as in put the chicken on a plate and pour the gravy over top? I’m hearing it everywhere in the last few months.
That is actually an old phrase that is still in use in some Southern or rural areas. I think it stuck around because it doesn’t have a short, exact translation into other phases. It is supposed to be complimentary. It roughly means that your family or the people you most closely associate with have good values and integrity - you come from good stock and display those traits yourself.
I read that article, and frankly I’m excited. Now they’ll have one eye I can punch them in without cutting my knuckles on broken glass.
Vector auto regression?
I was once told “You’re a good interface.” I’m pretty sure that’s the day I died inside.
I’m searching for a job, and my eyes often glaze over at the rampant manager speak in the job descriptions. If I never see the word “leverage” used as a verb again, it’ll be too soon.
“Ask” is used all the time on the stock market. “Bid” and “ask” refer respectively to the prices a buyer and seller are offering for a given stock transaction.
Using it in other contexts starts to sound a bit like Newspeak:
“Value At Risk”.
Whenever I’m leading a meeting (which is almost never) I like to close with “and let’s go actualize the fuck out of some synergy”.
Did he like to refer to business opportunities as “low hanging fruit,” too? 'Cause if he did, I’ll bet we’ve worked together.