Put the doorknobs in a sturdy sack, and put the screws in an old 2x4, and he’ll be all set for dad’s next visit!
I don’t recall any particularly bad gifts, but one year my mom got me a set of reindeer slippers. I was 17 or 18, I think. She was really embarassed at getting me a gift so silly, so she changed the To: label to herself. Only… she screwed it up and put my name on it. I was sort of pissed that she didn’t want me to have them, I even brought those suckers to college with me.
Heh, there have been some real winners here. Enough to almost make that ‘heavy metal bible’ look like a halfway decent gift (it stills wins the prize for pure bizareness.) I think my favorite so far is the sack of cornmeal. While it completes the basic requirements for a gift (unopened, wrapped, not used), it’s still bad on so many levels.
One year when I was twelve or thirteen, an aunt gave me a bottle of cheap spray cologne. At that age I couldn’t even fathom why one would want such an item. So I took the bottle and a cigarette lighter to middle school with me, and had a grand old time playing with my homemade miniature flamethrower.
lieu:
<bluecanary’s dad> I’d keep that, it might be collectable! </bluecanary’s dad>
I’d worry if your Secret Santa actually gave you leftover Vioxx.
When I was nine or ten, along with the other toys and books I got that Christmas, I recieved underwear from Mom. Fruit of the Loom briefs. Not as bad as a sack of cornmeal, but still not the thing kids get too excited about.
An acquaintance of mine collects disgraced corporation memorabilia. He’ll gleefully show you his big basket of squishy foam “stress relieving” balls, all with logos from Enron, Arthur Andersen, and the like. It’s a hoot. He gets it all on Ebay. That Vioxx desk set might turn out to be a valuable item. 
All I know is that I got a Random House dictionary from my grandfather when I was (I think) 10: my first big fat hardbound dictionary. It was the BEST GIFT EVER until I begged for, and received, the new Canadian Oxford from my parents when I was 16. I still have both of them.
Briefs no, but I do frequently get socks (among other things), which I do indeed appreciate.
My grandmother sends me, regular as clockwork, a shirt or sweater on both my birthday and Christmas. Unlike every other grandson in the known universe, I really appreciate them as she’s pretty much my only source of new shirts, and I always send her a nice note.
The only clothing I’ve received lately that I didn’t appreciate at the time was a pair of pajamas; I don’t usually wear pajamas. However, the other night it was too cold not to wear pajamas, and they were lovely.
I’m too young to be this mature. 
My very worst Christmas present was from a boy I was dating in high school. I was a pretty straight-laced kid as far as behavior, but I dressed sort of punk-ish and was in a band. I “dated” the bass player in the band (as far as 9th grade dating goes…not very).
For Christmas, all the boys in the band came over to my house to exchange little gifts. He pulls out a nicely wrapped present that he’s obviously spent a lot of time considering. I open it.
It was a Satanic Bible. WTF? I gave it back to him. I mean, it’s Christmas. And I wasn’t that type of kid at all.
Every year, I get these kinds of nightgowns from my mother-in-law. Last year, it was a satin, foam green nightie with a teddy bear decal on it. My husband about had a heart attack. He’s sure she’s trying to ruin his sex life. Luckily, we don’t live close to her, so when I’m opening up the package that’s been sent through the mail, I don’t have to feign delight.
Not for Christmas, but one year for my birthday, my little sister spent all of her money on things for herself. Apparently she went into Wal-Mart with $2. I opened my gift and found she had gotten me a pen and a Pez dispenser. (No, I don’t collect either.)
My worst Christmas present was definitely from my dad. My dad never used to get us presents - he said that he paid for Mom’s, which was true, but he never really bothered to get to know our interests. The year my mom divorced him, he gave me a blue mug. I was very confused. I don’t drink coffee or tea. I always tried to buy things that he might like and use – that year, it was a calendar with historical maps (he is something of a history buff).
It turns out my mom had previously purchased it as some sort of business gift and he had never used it. So it was even regifted!
We are now estranged. For unrelated reasons. 
After I left college I spent the better part of a year trying to get my life together. At one point I had to ask my mom for money so I could:
[list=a]
[li]Pay rent.[/li][li]Buy food.[/li][li]Get a haircut so I didn’t have security called on me when I went on job interviews.[/li][/list]
Come Christmas a few months later and I get a package from her that rattles curiously.
It was a box full of fake plastic coins, toy dollar bills, and a note reminding me I owed her money.
Thanks mom.
Hmm.
Worst Xmas present ever? think
A searingly bright purple Harry Potter T-shirt. Children’s size medium. I’m in my mid-twenties, and I dare say, a little big for that by now. Also, the only things you can see me in are usually muted colors or black – I avoid bright colors like the plague for the most part. (I haven’t even read Book 5. flees the other HP fans with the pitchforks and torches)
I know, nowhere near as bad as some of the other presents here. :eek: :eek:
My grandmother gave me a pastel blue and pink sweater with, I kid you not, bunnies and teddy bears on it. I wouldn’t have worn it when I was a child, but at the time I was a 21-year-old college student majoring in drinking and sex.
:eek: I think we have a winner.
My vote for worst gift so far is the fruitcake with the piece missing. Nothing says “I don’t give a shit” like “I didn’t like this enough to keep it myself.”
This wasn’t a Christmas gift, but it was still pretty bad. When I graduated high school, the people at my job chipped in and bought me a Sea Green Leisure Suit, a la Leisure Suit Larry. Now, my normal style of dress tended toward the Hippie style prevalent across the country at that time. I guess they were trying to tell me something.
One lady apparantly could tell I wasn’t real thrilled as she took me aside later and told me it could have been worse, the first choice was a Bright Yellow Leisure Suit. :eek:
If anyone can guess what year I graduated from this information, you’re older than you think!
Agreed, nobody is beating DarkPrince until it involves a shiv and a trip to the emergency room.
I think Christmas gifts got off to a bad start with Myrrh. That is stuff you use to help embalm dead bodies, just perfect for a baby
I would guess 1976.
Worst gift for me from MIL, two years ago; an 18 inch pink and purple rocking horse music box. I don’t like music boxes, I own nothing pink or purple, I don’t collect anything (except books) but certainly not rocking horsies. I opened it and just thought huh??? BTW I was 48 years old and had been married to her son for over 26 years by then.
Worst family gift ever from SIL (husbands sister); the entire family–16 year old daughter, 18 year old son, middle age mom and dad got tee shirts from old navy. And what’s wrong with that you say?..All the shirts were identical and all were the same size, XL. The only one of us who was XL was Mr. Jin. Daughter was a size 4, son and I were both medium sized. All we could think was “Could you have given us a more thoughtless gift?” Oh, and I haven’t worn a tee-shirt for about 20 years!!
It’s also used as an insect repellant. IIRC, this is one of the reasons it was so highly valued at that time.