Worst Christmas present ever.

In My Humble Opinion
21

My aunt buying a cologne set for my dad-he’s ALLERGIC!

Last year, his sister made calenders on her computer and some crappy magnets. The calenders-oooh, such a WASTED potential!

I mean, if I was going to make a calender as a gift for a brother, I’d make them with old family photos, personalize them with family anniversaries and birthdays, print them on photo paper and get them bound-at least with one of those cheap ring book holder thingies. That would be SUCH a lovely present, right?

Well, this was on regular computer paper, no pictures at all, no family dates marked-I don’t even think she marked holidays.

Then she gave him some cheap address labels she printed out, and some really shitty, ugly plain magnets with MS Paint clipart.

AND THEN, she had the GALL to BRAG to everyone how she did this on her computer. WTF?

TECHNICALLY, this was from her son to my dad, because my cousin is my dad’s godchild. And she gave the same thing to her sister- THE EXACT SAME THING which was from her daughter.

My family always puts thought into gifts. For my cousin, her son, they bought him a whole big box of snack foods he loves for his new apartment. He loved it. For my dad’s other godchild, my mother made a photo album of family pictures-since my cousin’s mother died when she was only three. She ADORED the album, especially with all the old pictures of her mother in it.

It’s not the gift, so much, but the thought behind it. My aunt just buys any old thing. She’s cheap and greedy.

MY worst gift would be a pair of pants my grandmother bought me for my 12th birthday. In the kid’s section. Pink pants that would fit my five year old sister. Uh, gramma…I’m growing a bit now…(we teased her about it. And right now I’m wearing a beautiful deep red chenille sweater she bought me last year!)

22

Every Xmas we always waited in anticipation for my dad to open the present that his sister jean would send him.

We got to the point where we would place bets on how awful the gift would be.

One year we got The Hot Dogger which was a rotating shis-k-bob type thingee to cookl hotdogs on.

Last year we got a lamp shaped like a lighthouse. TRULY hieous.

But the all-time ultimate was the year she gave us The Ronco Inside The Eggshell Egg Scrambler.

I kid you not.

23

A couple of years ago a friend of my family’s divorced dad remarried. His new wife fills the wicked stepmother role out to a tee. Some of the ways she shows favortism to her own daughter are astonishingly tacky. My favourite though is last year, where her daughter got a brand new car and my friend got… a coffee cup.

24

Two worst presents ever received by me:

  1. A dickey.
  2. A Dictionary of Physics.

Worst present ever received by my sons:

One pair of nail clippers, (not one pair each, just the one pair between them) given to them by their father’s girlfriend’s parents.

25

Well… [url-http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=121931&highlight=jellybeans]the gifts I got last year for Christmas from my parents were a bit less than I’d been expecting. Yes, I know it’s the thought behind the gift, but really…

F_X

26

Well… the gifts I got last year for Christmas from my parents were a bit less than I’d been expecting. Yes, I know it’s the thought behind the gift, but really… when you expect the current edition of the Guinness Book of World Records, a mega-pack of Dentyne gum and a jellybean moose don’t cut it!

F_X

27

I’ll never forget the Christmas my Dad gave my Mother a can of hair spay…It was Aqua net… Ohhhhh how happy she was!!
NOT…

28

I gave my sister Odor-Eaters last year. Hehe.

29

The worst Christmas gift that I ever got was gift certificates.

A little background. I was in college. I had managed to save a little money for Christmas. I actually put a lot of thought into my friends presents. I got each person a stocking, filled with candles and candy and socks and underwear and nail polish and other nifties. And I got everyone a bigger present–something that I knew they wanted. I got one person a set of Mr. Sketch scented markers, one a Scooby-Doo something or other, and some other stuff. Plus, I made everyone pottery.

All but one of my friends put effort into my presents. They looked for things that I would like (which is pretty much anything). From the inconsiderate friend, I got 5-$1 gift certificates to the local dollar theater. Which was 90 miles away from where I went to college. And it wasn’t part of a franchise so I couldn’t use them near school. And they expired within a month, so I couldn’t use them before my next break. (Also, they were purchased in August, and this person gave them to all of her other friends.)

30

Since my sisters and I are Jewish, we tend to get Hanukkah gifts rather than Christmas presents. But since we’re talking about crappy stuff we’ve recieved…

Several years ago, my father had a truly horrible woman as his girlfriend. My youngest sister (who was about 14 at the time) had a particularly lousy relationship with this witch.

To get back at my sister for some sort of real or imagined slight, this Almost Stepmother From Hell gave my sister a grab bag of total schlock consisting of the following:

  1. An assortment of slightly used lipsticks.
  2. A deodorant stick that had been swiped on something at least once.
  3. Half-empty bottles of nailpolish and a slightly used bottle of nail polish remover.
  4. A 28-compartment pill box, and,

the kicker,

  1. A particularly cheap-looking, skimpy pink polyester schtup-me-in-the-back-room-of-Miss-Kitty’s-Go-Go-Pleasurama teddy.

I can be pretty imaginative when I want to be manipulative or vicious, but I don’t think I could manage quite the unique blend of insultingness and inappropriateness that this gift pulled off.

31

A rather wealthy aunt once gave me a tic-tac-toe game. Whoopee.

Now, get this. The game was a crappy, unpainted, wooden model, and it only had three X pieces and three O pieces! So it was (a) boring, (b) of poor workmanship, and © useful only to morons.

32

About 15 years ago, my brother showed up on Christmas day fairly drunk. He was probably about 20-25 at the time and very much a party type guy, so it was not all that upsetting. The really funny part was that he had stopped to buy presents on the way to my parent’s house, and obviously ended up at a gas station or something, since what he got us all were lottery tickets. $25 or so in scratch-offs for my parents and $5-$10 worth for his siblings. As I recall, everyone was more amused than pissed, and we all had lottery tickets for a week or so since we’d turn in the winnings and buy more tickets with them. I don’t think anyone won more than $10.

33

I got my mom an oven mitt for Christmas once.

34

Lottery tickets-that would be an ideal gift for my grandmother, who LOVES to gamble! (She used to always play the lottery!)

(This is the same grandmother who got me the pretty sweater I mentioned!)

35

Umm, I got my Dad a set of oven mitts, and he was thrilled.

No, really.

He was. Dad’s the cook in the family, and he’d worn his out. And the oven mitts were gloriously tacky, though functional.

36

When I was about 8, I gave one of my brothers a rock for Christmas. I was mad at him, I think.

37

I have an ugly sock aunt. Every year, I’m guaranteed a couple pairs of ugly socks. Not that bad really.

My other aunt, however, seemed to give me bad gifts out of spite, especially when I was a teen. At sixteen she gave me a cabbage patch doll. Not a real one either.
The next year she gave me a Dan Fogelberg album. Just what a Metallica loving seventeen year old needs! Ah well, I didnt have a record player anyway.

38

I got a colouring book from my Auntie once.

I was 12 at the time.

39

A set of bongo drums. What kind of parents give an 8 year old kid a set of bongo drums! I used them to bounce marbles off of. I found out years later that I was adopted. Woohoo!!

Or, years later I was over at the girlfriend’s parents house. Her father gave her brother a new socket set to use because his old set was useless as the wrench mechanism was stripped. Guess who got the old set from the old man? “Here”, he says, “You might as well have it”. I was tempted to tell him about what his daughter had given me the night before for my present and he could do the same thing, hehe.

40

I wasn’t wild about one of the presents I got from my brother and his wife last year. They gave me one of those little gift bags with handles that are meant to be filled with small gifts. One of the gifts in the bag was a little bag of gourmet flavored coffee. The problem with that gift is that I don’t drink coffee. I don’t like the taste of coffee, and besides, too much caffeine aggravates my migraines. I gave it to my mother, who loves coffee. To be fair to them, I did like all of the other gifts in the bag.