The two California grapefruit (per their little stickers) rolled up in an Arizona Highways calendar is up at the top of my list. Those poor grapefruit. They’re picked from somewhere in California, shipped to Arizona, where my MIL buys them, and ships them back to me in California. The calendar didn’t fare too well either - it was permanently coiled.
Another “What were they thinking?” item was the cowboy bear, complete with LED-studded lasso that belted out “YeeeHAW! Howdy Pardner! I want to sing you a little Christmas tune here! Jingle bells, jingle bells…” Oh yeah, the lasso moved back and forth, and the bear’s mouth opened in vague synch to the song.
I am glad that I have people who care enough to want to give me something. However, if they don’t care enough to put any thought into it, then they might as well not bother. C’mon, a *small *sweatshirt with Mickey Mouse bowling on the front for a 6’ 245 lb man? There was no thought put into this and other than as a rag, it is useless to me. I would have much prefered that she save her money and use it on her.
Is that one of the ones that has a rotating magnet that makes the woodland critters move across the mirror? My mom has been gifted with a few of those featuring penguins – plump, smiling, rosy-cheeked penguins.
What if we start an after-Christmas gift exchange on the Dope this year? Everyone who gets one of these “Worse gifts ever” type things can post it, and if it’s something that someone else might be interested in, they can ask for it. That way, at least some gifts might get some use out of them. If enough interest is shown, I’ll ask for mod approval and start the thread.
We did one of those in college, once – effin’ brilliant! I got to indulge my curiosity about what escargot tasted like, and a female friend picked up my bottle of cheap cologne – and she seemed happy with it …
Last year, my 85 year-old MIL gave me about ten of those little bite-sized peanut butter bars. At first I thought they were left over from Halloween but they were so stale I decided it had to of been from at least the previous Halloween. She’s a sweet old thing, but she has been steadily declining the past few years.
Many moons ago the (then) fiances’ mother gave me a perfectly horrendous sweater. It was two sizes to small, horrible pale blue with silver threads, puffy shoulders, and made of 100% acrylic.
The two sizes too small? That was nice thinking. Pale blue with silver threads? That was when getting your colors done were big and we had done some make up testing thing no more than a few weeks prior wherein we were both told to never ever wear pale blues or yellows (I do look uniquely green in those colors). Even beyond that, I was the queen of black. Puffy shoulders? They were like princess puffy thingies. Completely inappropriate on someone who was so not princess-y and already had broad shoulders. The 100% acrylic? She knew I could not (and still cannot) wear acrylic. I get an itchy rash when I wear acrylic.
Luckily my older, yet smaller, cute blonde sister loved the ugly thing.
Emo’s mom gave me used pots and pans our first Christmas together. Not high quality ones, cheap crappy ones with food congealed in the saucepan. No, her insanity wasn’t clear back then. When Emo moved out I graciously gave him the few pans remaining.
See how I’m always thinking of the other people and setting up jokes for them. I knew that would end up with a post like that. Someone needs to set up the joke so other’s can finish it.
I honestly don’t think I’ve gotten any memorable whoppers. Maybe one or two that were a little, unthought-out but nothing too horrid.
One year, however, my childhood friend, age 11, unwrapped a gift from her mother. Oblong, couple of boxes together in one package. She glanced quickly and realized it was 2 packages of training bras :eek: Her mother was guffawing and saying “Open it, honey!!!” while her teenage brother was sitting nearby snickering. Why on earth would someone deliberately give a kid something designed to embarrass her??? :mad:
The mother in this situation was a lovely, thoughtful woman in all other ways so this was a real shocker coming from her.
We got her back a while later, sort of. My friend and I were alone at the house and found a bra that someone had left on the kitchen counter - from the size, it was probably her aunt’s (houseguest). We hung it from the light fixture over the kitchen table. Ahhhh, good times
I forgot to add that the underwear was 2 sizes too small and it’s just weird to receive that kind of gift for Christmas. I know it’s a practical gift, but still.
I took my username from a thread that mentioned it when I was a lurker. It said something like “Do you have a prehensile rectum?”
My fear in keeping inappropriate (for me) gifts around is that people will see them and think that I collect kitschy woodland creatures, etc. No, I don’t - I just happen to have a very nice, generous mother-in-law whose taste is 180 degrees away from mine. I do appreciate her thought; she just doesn’t have the same taste as I do.
A friend of mine is very fond of telling how her mother gave each of her teenage daughters Christmas gifts that, unwrapped, revealed a jewelry box. So they open the jewelry boxes expecting to find ear rings, a pin, or something nice, and found appointment cards telling them that she had made a dentist appointment for each of them the following week.
The poor woman never understood why her daughters were so outraged.
My husband’s aunt is famous for giving WTF gifts. Made worse by the fact that she’s not senile, not poor, and in no other way insane. She’s given (not all to me, but to various people):
1 travel pack of Kleenex
Daffy duck socks. Given to a 30 year old man.
an “egg” from a gumball machine. Nothing was in it.
knee high pantyhose, 1 pair, one nude and one black
A Bic ballpoint pen
a half-empty box of chocolates
1 lipstick, used (I got that one. And it was a hideous color, too!)
hmmmm. Sounds like someone not familiar with the concept…
The jewelry box is something else again.
I know a girl at whose 10 year old party another girl gave her a slip and underwear. The poor “giver” (you know her mom picked all that stuff out) was a social pariah for quite awhile (and not invited to any parties). Who thinks to give that stuff to a 10 year old non-relative? Very odd, indeed, but this was 1972, so…
Oddly enough, it’ not all that unusual in my family to have underwear, as well as socks and other “practical” items., as one of multiple gifts from a parent/grandparent to a child.
But then I remember one Christmas when my 5-year old daughter (I’ll call her Katie - not her real name) received a package of underwear as a gift.
Now, those of you who come from big families will attest to the fact that there’s always one person at every Christmas gift-exchange who feels obligated to record the entire proceedings on film - every single gift must be photographed at the moment of its opening. Well, one of my Aunts was handling the camera that year and missed the rather hurried reaction as Katie opened the box, saw the underwear, mumbled a thanks, and grabbed for the next present.
But my Aunt, bless her heart, realizes that she has missed something, and calls out “What did Katie get?” … someone answered quietly … Aunt whips up the camera and yells, “Oh, Katie, show us your panties!”
There was a moment of shocked silence, then everyone over the age of 6 bursts out laughing, much to the bewilderment of my Aunt.
:mad: 