For my own vote I name “Pretty Paper”.
Whenever I hear that one my skin creeps up my back and huddles on the nape of my neck until it is over or I run out of range of the speakers.
<shudder>
Am I the only Doper who has heard Donny Osmond’s version of “When Children Rule the World”?
Is there anyone who likes the dogs barking out “Jingle Bells”?? That was clever for maybe 7 seconds…
That’s from Andy Williams’ Christmas album, which also included such gems as “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”:
I was always confused by the reference to ghost stories. Not a tradition in my household, I guess.
Thanks, ResIpsaLoquitor–now I’ll have Andy Williams stuck in my head for the rest of the day/week/season…
At least some of these are *meant *to be stupid.
The Long Road I think you’re confusing 2 or 3 different songs–at the very least , I don’t think John Lennon & Yoko Ono had anything to do with the raise-funds-for-starving-Africans song.Wasn’t that called “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”
Melandry, gotta agree with you. Christmas Shoes is the glurgiest glurge that ever glurged. And Diceman, here are the lyrics. Enjoy. Or not. Depends on your glurge threshold, I suppose. 
And I also agree with bowler girl. Stevie Nicks has a unique voice. Her secondary talent appears to be the ability to recognize which songs will create an appropriate setting for that voice. How she got hooked into singing Silent Night, I can’t quite figure. In this recording, she sounds like Froggy from the Little Rascals grew up and got a sex change. The raspy, smoky voice is absolutely LOST on this simple little tune.
Do They Know It’s Christmas (Feed the World) was Bob Geldof’s pet project before LiveAid and a direct inspiration for USA for Africa and We Are the World. Lennon was already dead when it was recorded.
No no no no – the worst South Park Christmas song has to be Mr. Mackey singing “Christmas M’kay” to the tune of “Carol of the Bells.”
I’ve got a string of lights here with a short in it . . .
I’d second that. The lines " So this is christmas, and what have you done/ another year over, And a new one just begun " make no sense whatsoever. Where do they celebrate Christmas after New Years?
So…nobody’s mentioned “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney??
I’m shocked! That song is vile.
“Blue Christmas” by Elvis Presley. I cannot STAND that song. I’m not sure if it’s the stuttering of “Ah’ll-a hav-a uh-a…” at the beginning or the “ah-woo-oo-WOO-oo” wailing of the female backup singers in the background. It just gets on my last nerve.
Jeeeesus! That almost put me into a sugar coma! I do believe that we have a winner there.
I have some reindeers with pointed antlers that I’ll donate.
This just gets better and better.
I haven’t read all the posts yet, so I apologize if someone has posted this already: “Scary Ghost Stories” is a reference to “A Christmas Carol” by Dickens. It really is a ghost story after all.
I’ve always DETESTED “Sleigh Ride”. Even worse, some years ago I got my wires crossed and the tune is permanently fused in my mind with the Kennel Ration jingle: “My dog’s better 'cause he eats Kennel Ration” and now I can’t hear the theme without putting those words to it!
I cannot stand Bruce Springsteen’s Santa Claus is Comin’ To Town.
So many excellent choices, but the fingernails on the chalkboard of my Christmas is a little ditty by Debbie Reynalds and Donald O’Conner called “Chrissy the Christmas Mouse” followed by nearly every “cute” or overly sentimental tune listed here.
Sorry, I forgot. Cite: