The Twelve Days of Christmas always makes me wonder “What is this shit about.” Its only redeeming factor is the
amazing parodies it has spawned.
The only thing worse is setting "A Night Before Christmas to music. The San Francisco cast of Phantom of the Opera released a CD called Christmas Center Stage which has a
version that makes me think of “The Nightmare Before Christmas.” It should be illegal.
AAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH!!! I hate that song!!!
“The Most Wonderful Time of the Year”
Now, I don’t actually hate this song. It’s ok. But one line just irks me to no end. It goes like this:
[Andy Williams]
There’ll be scary ghost stories
And tales of good glories
From Christmases long-long ago.
[/Andy Williams]
Who the hell sits around and tells ghost stories at Christmas? My wife says “A Christmas Carol” is a ghost story. Jacob Marley, the ghost of Christmases past, and that kind of thing. I guess that is fine, but the song clearly says there will be stories, plural. So, once you’re done with “A Christmas Carol” what other ghost stories are there?
It’s enough to make you nuts. Nuts I say!
"Lacy things the wife is missin’
Didn’t ask for her permission
I’m wearing her clothes
Her silk pan-ty-hose
Walkin’ round in women’s underwear.
In the store, there’s a teddy
with little straps like spaghetti
It holds me so tight
like handcuffs at night.
Walkin’ round in women’s underwear.
In the office there’s a guy named Melvin
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He’ll say “Are you ready?” We’ll say “Whoa, man!
Let’s wait until the wife is out of town!”
Later on if ya wanna
we can dress like Madonna.
Put on some eyeshade
and join the parade.
Walkin’ round in women’s underwear.
Lacy things missin’
Didn’t ask permission
Wearing her clothes
Silk pan-ty-hose
Walkin’ round in women’s underwear.
Walkin’ round in women’s underwear.
Walkin’ round in women’s underwear!
I… have. shudder
My aerobics instructor snuck it into the music for a class just before Christmas once. I could never figure out if she was a real Boney M fan (since other times she’d have us all kickin’ to the strains of Rah-rah-rasputin, lover of the Russian queen…) or just had a somewhat sadistic sense of humor. :eek:
I guess I’m the only one that thinks “It’s a Holly Jolly Christmas”, by Burl Ives is the most tortured excuse for a Christmas song ever produced.
“Oh, by golly, have a holly jolly Christmas this year!”
I keep visualizing that demonic Burl-ish snowman from the Frosty holiday special.
That demonic snowman was from the Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer special.
Maybe it’s 'cause I’m young, but the one I hate most is ‘White Christmas’. It sounds far too miserable to be a Christmas song.
Other than that, I like most Christmas songs, except ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’, 'cause it’s condescending.
The aforementioned “Nightmare Before Christmas”???
The entire Barbra Streisand holiday album. Mariah Carey’s version of “O Holy Night” which starts out lovely then deteriorates until finally culminating in a glass-shattering screech of “Deeeeee-VINE!!!”
One of my favorites Cher’s version of “O Holy Night”: Wooah holeh naht…
Doesn’t anyone else find Christmas albums recorded by Jews to be a little, well, odd?
Robin
Not to be the ANTI-grinch, but…
IJGrieve:
and Featherlou
What part of these lyrics do you find snooty or condescending?
Maybe I’m just partial because I always think of Chrissy Hynde (swoon) singing it.
You can put me down for a big ol’ glass of snooty if Ms Hynde’s involved 
Have yourself a merry little Christmas.
Let your heart be light.
Next year all our troubles
Will be out of sight.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas.
Make the Yule-tide gay.
From now on our troubles
Will be miles away.
Here we are as in olden days,
Happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Will be near to us once more.
Someday soon we all will be together
If the Fates allow.
Until then we’ll have to muddle through somehow.
So have yourself a merry little Christmas now.
Holly Jolly Christmas makes me want to pack my ears with cement so the sound can’t get in.
That’s not my most hated Christmas song though… Little Drummer Boy touches some deep, dark part of my brain that makes me instantly psychotic, to the point of actually slicing off my own ears with a rusty knife, rolling them up, and sticking them in the holes, and then fastening them there with three inch nails to block the incessant rum-pa-pum-pum.
Oh God…do you hear what I hear??? :::runs screaming:::
Rose
re. ‘Have Yourself…’
It’s the title line that I dislike. It sort of implies that your Christmas isn’t important.
That’s what I think anyway,
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas is my favorite along with O Holy Night and Mary Did you Know…
I don’t see what is so snooty about the first one.
I HATE “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” and this one song, I think it’s called “Very Special Christmas” and I don’t remember who sings it.
The Santa Ran Over Granny one makes me puke
I’d like to second the many who’ve dumped on “The Little Drummer Boy”; I hated that song when I was six, and I still hate it now that I’m forty-six.
And I’d also like to second Chance the Gardener’s nomination of “Jingle Bell Rock”. Whoever wrote that bit of inanity should be put in solitary confinement for the rest of their years, with that song playing on an infinite loop through a speaker in the ceiling.
I can’t stand “Santa Claus Got Stuck in My Chimney.” Maybe because I was completely drunk the first time I heard it, but I swear, it just sounds lewd. I don’t know who recorded it originally, but it seems to have popped up on the new Ally McBeal christmas album. And I must add that I do take it as a sign of the apocolypse that they recorded an Ally McBeal christmas album.