Worst In-Flight Experiences

In My Humble Opinion
21

Most of these pale in comparison, but here goes:

Long-term job in New York, commuting to DC every weekend. Spent the summer commuting via puddle-jumpers from JFP to National due to cheap airfare wars. Looking forward to using jets again. Got a flight from LaGuardia to Dulles, one Friday evening. Plane hit turbulence so bad they had to make the flight attendants sit down; the flight was so short they couldn’t climb above it. I spent the entire 12-hour-long flight (well, it seemed like that long) trying not to scream and we were thrown about the skies.

Frantic day at the office, resulting in zero time to even grab a bite to eat. Long car ride through rush hour to Dulles to grab a flight to San Francisco. Jumbo jet (747?). Looking forward to the food (that’s how hungry I was, I wanted airline food). 20 minutes after takeoff, it’s “sorry, the lift from the food area is broken. Nobody gets fed except First Class but hey, the movie’s free today.”. I honestly don’t know what they’d have done if they’d had a diabetic onboard who had to eat.

Flight from San Diego to DC. Plane was to stop in Philadelphia, then same plane was to go to DC. Only, when we landed, they said we needed to deplane so the cabin could be cleaned. Oooookay. Except the person at the top of the jetway said “nope - go pick up your baggage”. I fucking HATE it when the airlines LIE to us. This was mid-evening on a Sunday. We were travelling with 3 kids. After nearly 2 hours, they said they’d finally arranged busses and oh, we had to get on NOW, no you CAN’t take the kids to the bathroom first or you’ll have to wait for a later bus which may or may not show up. So we got on the bus and hoped it would make a bathroom break (it did - 5 miles after we got on the highway).

The driver appeared to think he was flying a plane, judging by the speed he was moving that thing. I seriously considered calling 911 from my cell phone and asking the police to find the bus and pull it over as I wasn’t entirely sure we were going to survive the trip. So I think this counts as a bad flight story! IIRC, we got in at close to 2 AM. The kids, surprisingly, were not all that bad on the bus.

22

On my first plane trip ever (Pittsburgh PA to Boston), halfway over NY, a head cold kicked in. By the time we landed, I was deaf from all the crap in my ears, nose was running like a sugar tree in the spring and I was coughing so hard I was cramping. Hubby said we’d hit a bit of turbulence but I’ll be damned if I even knew it, I was so sick. Thank heaven I got better while we were in Boston and our flight back was uneventful.

23

Ok, in-plane experiences. I was flying back from India…the third time. No, the fourth. Air France, or whatever it’s called. Anyway we get on the Paris-to-U.S. route. It’s pouring rain out. There’s a ton of turbulence, and people start getting sick all over the airplane. I, who have never been sick on an airplane, also get sick and go for the bag. I’m traveling alone so no one to share my misery. The whole plane smells like vomit as it seems like every other person is throwing up. The plane is shaking and wobbling all over the goddamn place. It’s Coach, too. The co-pilot keeps coming on the radio and reassuring us but we’re all half-convinced we’re going to fall in the Atlantic and die. And some of us might be grateful, we feel so bad.

Now I must also throw in the nice lady next to me. Her and her husband (I think) were traveling together. Possibly they were German, definitely not French. Anyway they were the only ones in my row not getting sick. Instead of being grossed out, the woman, this total stranger, rubbed my back, and got me wet cloths, and talked to me soothingly in (I think) German. I don’t think they knew any English. She was extraordinarily kind. I still feel my heart warm when I think of it.

So, possibly German lady on Air France in December 1993, thank you for making a horrible experience slightly less horrible. I’ve never forgotten your kindness.

24

The only memorable one I had was your typical bad turbulence experience – what made it stand out was the plane took a very sudden, deep drop and the woman in the seat behind me screamed in several frequencies and a huge quantity of decibles at once. Made my ears ring.

Not my own story, but a friend’s. The whole story is completely hilarious but only she can tell it properly. The highlight is this:

She and a coworker were flying in the company’s Lear ject, along with several executives, from Chicago to Minneapolis after a disastrous conference. As a courtesy, the plane was stocked with a variety of foods – sandwiches, veggies, chips, dips, salsa, etc. The pilot asked my friend if she and the coworker would be willing to set out some food and beverages once they’d cruising altitude. They gladly set out all the edibles they found.

What the pilot didn’t think to ask was that they stow everything away again for the descent and landing. I’m sure you can see where this is going. It all ended with everyone in the plane covered in all manner of food and liquid. At that point my friend started cracking up, and she and the coworker laughed hysterically while the executives sat in stony silence, picking stuff out of their heair and clothes. The execs all left the plane without saying a word while my friend helped the pilot and co-pilot clean the plane.

They found out as they were cleaning it that the owners of the company (and the plane) were due to arrive for a flight to Bermuda in 30 minutes. And most of the food had been for them.

25

My worst experience in flight pales, I suppose, against some of these, but it does have a twist I haven’t seen yet.

On a flight down to Arizona from Washington state, the plane jiggled a little bit. I swear, it was less turbulence than I’ve ever felt; when the plane hit it I thought it was the bump from the landing gear coming out or something. We were still half an hour or so away, though.

Apparently, that little bump was the last straw for the kid behind me (who had, until that point, been perfectly well behaved). He said “Mom, I’m gonna be --HHHURRRRGGGHH!!”

All over the back of my head.

The kid behind me was sobbing, his mother was alternating between dabbing frantically at my head with Kleenex and wiping at her boy, the boy’s older brother (on the other side of Mom) was laughing hysterically, and the cute coed who had been sitting next to me dashed down the aisle to the bathroom and locked herself in for the rest of the trip. I think she may have been splashed as well, but I’m not sure. The whole plane (aside from Laughing Boy) seemed to be as much in shock as I was. I remember thinking, “He did NOT just puke on me!.. did he?”

The stewardess was nice enough to clear out first class for me so I could change, and fortunately I’d been travelling with only a carryon (with my spare clothes), so I had clean clothing. I spent the rest of the trip with my head wrapped in a trash bag and my clothes in another. When we got to the airport I hit the showers, as it were. Let me just add that it’s very hard to wash ones hair in a public restroom sink.

Worst. Trip. Ever.

On the upside, I got a hand-written apology from the boy, on the other side of the security gate. They even kept their ride waiting so he could hand it to me.

Never saw the coed again though.

26

You win, Sofaspud. That’s just right out of my worst nightmares. I hate vomit.

27

Not so much a bad trip as a surprise. A friend of my father was being flown somewhere in Africa and they were over some grasslands. He happenned to express an interest in the wildlife, so the pilot inverted the aircraft and dove down so he could get a closer look. :smiley: The pilot was an ex-WW2 fighter pilot.

28

ISTR that the Airport at San Juan is considered one of the more annoying airports for commercial pilots. (Something about a mountain right in front of the take off runway, making the climb out a bit more exciting than normal.) Did you notice anything like that?

The only bad experience I’d had flying was when I got flown out to my ship when I was in the Navy. This was 1991, and the first Gulf War had ended maybe a month before. There were concerns about being targetted by terrorists while in transit, so we were ordered to travel in civvies.

The first part of the trip was nice - there were about 30 of us in the draft, and we were all going to the same ship. But for reasons I never did hear straight, we went from NorVA to Sicily on an L-1011. Most comfortable flight I’d ever had. And flying over the Alps was a sight.

Then we spent a couple of days in Sicily while whomever it was in charge of arranging the movement tried to figure out where our ship was, and what we were supposed to do until then. Eventually there was a flight going from Sicily to Incirlik AFB, Turkey. It was carrying mostly Air Force personnel, but for some reason we were added to the flight.

While landing, the pilot was having troubles with cross winds. The plane was rocking about five degrees from side to side. I had a window over the wing, and I swear I saw the wingtip raise dust from a near contact with the ground.

Then we land, and deplane.

And find out that no one in Incirlik had any clue what to do about us.

And less interest.

We weren’t allowed to leave the terminal building. We were told that provisions might be available later. Did I mention that we left Sicily before breakfast, and it was pushing 4 pm, when we were told that by the oh-so helpful Air Farce personnel?

About this time a Marine Captain, pilot of a CH-46 off the old Guam, noticed this bedraggled group of squids, with our senior man in our draft (an SCPO) trying to get the Air Farce to do anything.

He listened when the SCPO explained the situation, and said, rather loudly, “That’s fucking unsat!”

He disappeared into the command part of the terminal buildings, and there was some grumbling through the walls. He came back out about fifteen minutes later, and finally told us what was going on - we had been supposed to catch up with a supply flight from a fast oiler that was going to be supplying our ship. But the UNREP was cancelled while we were in the air.

He got permission to bring us to the Guam, where we overnighted, and then got us transferred to a fast oiler. Which finally got us to our ship.

So, if you ever wanted to know why I tend to be positive towards Marines, and dismissive of the Air Force, now you know.
ETA: I forgot to mention, the Virginia class cruisers, after they got the “Strike Cruiser” update, had no capability to land helos after that. So, when the fast oiler finally sent us on to our ship, they did so via helo.

And kicked us out of the helo some 60-70 feet above the decks. (On a wire, but the kick was quite literal for many people.)

29

My first trip to Vegas, I overindulged. Really, all trips to Vegas I overindulge, but I definitely did on my first. My husband and I were catching a redeye back, and we got through security at about 10:00 PM. I wasn’t feeling well then. I got some overpriced Rolaids from the airport kiosk and started munching them, but it really wasn’t helping. I figured that once I got on the plane I would sleep a bit and feel better.

How wrong I was. I slept a tiny bit, then woke up with the OMG I HAVE TO PUKE RIGHT FUCKING NOW feeling. I was in the middle seat (which I hate) and my husband was at the aisle. I don’t even think he woke up when I went past him. I actually waited in line to puke in the airplane bathroom. This is not easy when you are 5’11". I spent the rest of the flight to Milwaukee, plus the flight from Milwaukee to Columbus, sweating and shivering under as many itchy blankets as the flight attendants would give me. I managed not to vomit again until I got home, at which point the floodgates opened and I puked pretty constantly with a 102 temperature. After spending a weekend drinking and eating bad food in the fucking desert, not being able to keep down water was the last thing I needed. I ended up in the hospital that night, and it took three tries and a shit ton of bruising for them to get an IV in, I was so dehydrated. After a couple of liters of saline and some Phenargan, I felt much better. I still have no idea what caused that, and I have a scar from the second IV attempt.

Edited to add a couple of important words.

30

This counts as more bizarre than unpleasant, but…

Once Mrs. J. and I were settled in our seats for a flight out of Kennedy when there was an inexplicable delay. Then a squad of grim-faced police marched onto the plane, one a K-9 officer leading a very large German shepherd. Seems that a cop in the area had just been shot and the suspect had escaped onto airport property. Not on board our plane, as it turned out.

“Nice doggie! Yes, I think I’ll keep my arm and other body parts well out of the aisle for now.”

31

A friend of mine once flew from Graz, Austria to Sydney. Due to the SARS outbreak in Singapore and Hong Kong, his flight ended up going via New York. :eek: He must have spent 30+ hours getting there.

32

Well, the whole thing was a big long Bad Time, but I’ll just keep it to the in-flight badness. Flying back to school after Thanksgiving 2004.

I had requested a window seat when I booked my ticket. I know I did so because I not only hate flying but am also mildly claustrophobic. Having a window lets me feel like I have much more space, because there are no people on one side of me and I can see Elsewhere.

The airline gave my window seat to someone else and stuck me in a middle seat. I begged, I pleaded, they insisted they couldn’t change it. The plane was full. They wouldn’t make an announcement to see if anyone at the gate would switch seats with me*. Fine. I’ll just practice those breathing exercises I know for the three-hour flight.

We sit on the runway for an hour before finally taking off. The pilot warns us there’s a wicked headwind and we’re not likely to make up time in the air (so the connection I had 50 minutes to catch in Denver would now require a time machine).

We don’t get our little cups of soda or packets of pretzels, because the pilot wasn’t joking about the wind. There’s enough turbulence that it feels like we’re playing multi-layer bumper-cars: up, down, and all around. There is an infant in the row in front of me. There is an infant across the aisle. There an infant and a toddler in the row behind me. They are all screaming. I’m trying not to hyperventilate from the stress. The woman in the window seat is praying, out loud, and my patience for “Oh Jesus” is wearing thin.

We finally land in Denver, where it is snowing. I have of course missed my flight, but there is another connection to Albuquerque leaving in negative ten minutes that they are holding for me. I take the chance to stop in a bathroom, which I desperately needed, and run from gate A1 to A645 (did I mention that I had a sprained ankle and a head cold? The pain made everything more fun). I get on the plane. I have no only a window seat, but a row to myself. I am pleased.

We sit on the runway for an hour. Then the plane needs to be re-de-iced, so we go and get squirted. We wait another half hour. I take some Sudefed and ibuprofen with the hopes that my head and ankle will stop pulsating along with the engines. My water bottle - last opened at sea level - spits on me. We finally take off in a rather alarming manner, which involved staying on the ground for as long as possible then going up very very steeply. My inner ear decides I’ve abused it enough and decides we need to spend some time apart and I nearly fall over. I get hit in the elbow by the armrest, which will not stay up if the plane is doing anything but climbing. I whimper and wonder what I did to deserve this. Somewhere a few rows behind me an infant screams. The the turbulence starts, at one point bouncing us hard enough that someone (not an infant) almost screamed.

Eventually we land in Albuquerque, where it is also windy and starting to snow. Ever had to slam on the breaks - really stomp on them - in a car? The pilot kind of did that as we hit the ground. I again hit my elbow on the damn arm rest.

For extra fun, my suitcase had been sliced open and was soaking wet, and my shuttle back to Santa Fe nearly slid off the icy road before slowing down, so it took us about two hours to make the 60-mile trip.

Part of this was because they were too busy assuring people that the 6:30 flight to Denver was not the 9 PM flight to LA, as the gate display said, before they finally got it to switch to something along the lines of "(#^%*^&%#%((". Reassuring it was not.

33

I’ve never had a particularly bad experience, the wosrt one being on a smaller plane. I get car sick, and apparently air sick as well (never been seasick though). Fortunately for me I had packed a change of clothes, because I managed fine until about 15 minutes to landing.

My husband has a worse one though. He’d flown up to Nova Scotia to see me, and was heading back home. He had two connections, Newark and Chicago I believe. Newark was having bad weather that day, which caused his flights both to and from there to be delayed, leaving him stuck at the Halifax airport for three hours before even getting to take off (wish we’d known it would be late–we weren’t looking forward to parting again). Fortunately, since both flights were late, he made his connection there. He didn’t, however, make his connection in Chicago, and wound up arriving not long after the last flight to Omaha had left for the day. So he wound up trying to sleep in an airport (no offer of a hotel) and then buying another plane ticket so he could actually get home.

We now have a policy of not booking flights with short layovers.

34

I have had good experiences so far (… I hope I didn’t just jinx it… I might be going to Seattle in December!) but my mom had one terrible flight once.

Quick set-up; from 1990-1993, we lived on the Canadian military base in Lahr, Germany. In the first months of 1993 (knowing that we would be returning to Canada that summer), my father landed a great job back in Canada, so he moved back early to start working. The military paid for my mom to fly back in (I believe) April of that year, for a one-week stay, in order to house-hunt; to buy a house for us to live into when we moved back. Us kids stayed with friends.

The flight was to leave from CFB Lahr in the morning, there would be a meal somewhere over the Atlantic, it would land in Ottawa, then she would transfer to a smaller plane to hop on over to Montreal where my dad would pick my mom up. A coworker of my mom’s was also flying back (she was headed to Toronto) via the same flight.

The plane left on time, but after an hour or so in the air the pilot announced that they were having some sort of problem with the plane and they were flying back to Lahr to get it repaired. Lots of groans and complaints, but generally the passengers were grateful that it would be fixed rather than have some sort of tragic accident!

The passengers were allowed to leave the plane, but were kept in a smallish pre-boarding room at the airfield. The delay was longer than expected, and my mom began to get very very hungry. This is a bad thing for her, since hunger leads to migraines, which leads to her vomiting everything she tries to consume, and it takes high doses of medicine to help (though at the time her medicine was pills, so if she took them too late, she’d just throw them up again, thereby rendering them useless).

There was no food, not even a vending machine, available in the room they were waiting in, and my mom started getting queasy. She and her coworker asked repeatedly to be allowed to go through the doors and about 5 feet away to where there were vending machines, so she could get some cookies or chips or anything at all, but the attendants kept refusing to allow this. Offering to pay them to go get something from a vending machine was also met with “No.” So, exactly as predicted, my mom ended up with a migraine, and started throwing up.

They were then allowed back onto the plane. She kept puking. They served food - which could have prevented her illness an hour before - but she was too sick to eat it. She spent the next 8 hours filling up the puke bags on the plane (though the flight attendants were very nice and helpful), and once in Ottawa she had to be wheeled off the plane in a wheelchair and moved to the Montreal-bound plane. Her coworker tried to change her flight, to go to Montreal with her and then go on to Toronto, but that turned out to not be possible.

Mom continued to be sick on this plane, and had to be wheeled off it in Montreal.

Where her husband, who hadn’t seen her in 3 months, was standing waiting for her with flowers, balloons, and a reservation to a nice restaurant and fancy hotel in the city!

I think it took another full day for her to recover. They did, however, succeed in buying a house that week (I think they found one they liked on the second-to-last day!) and, in fact, they still live there. The return trip was uneventful.

35

Shot at.

36

Several years ago my wife and I were flying back to Salt Lake from Anchorage, after a 10 day vacation in Alaska (a terrific experience BTW). We had all of her brothers and their spouses with us, so there were a total of 9 in our party. BTW, this was before 9/11, so carryon inspections were not quite so stringent.

My wife and I were seated in aisle seats, directly across from each other. The middle seat next to her was (I think) the only empty seat on the plane. The window seat in her row was occupied by a 15yo girl, traveling alone. Next to me on the other side where two flamboyantly gay men regaling each other about what a fun time they had had.

After we got to cruising altitude, most of the passengers drifted off to sleep, since we had departed around 6 am. I was a little annoyed because the gay guy next to me kept falling asleep on my shoulder.

Anyway, I was suddenly awakened by a loud scream from my wife. In her sleeping state, she was vaguely conscious of something tickling her on the cheek and kept trying to brush it off, until finally she woke up and found a white rat licking her face. In her words, “I jumped up and ran to the back of the plane, then I realized that I still had my seat belt on.” Did I mention that my wife does not like small rodents?

The flight attendants came running to see what was the problem. They apologized and put the rat in a paper bag and took it away. A few minutes later, they came back around, trying to figure out where the rat came from. They woke up the girl next to my wife, who had slept soundly through the whole incident, and she said, “Oh, yeah. That’s my pet rat.”

Apparently, she was moving from Alaska to Denver, and was transporting the rat in the pocket of her hooded sweatshirt. While she was sleeping, the rat got out and started exploring.

The idiot flight attendants gave it back to her. Of course, a few minutes later, the girl was asleep again (but not my wife) and the rat came out again to explore. This time my wife shook the girl awake and told her what she could do with her rat. She put the rat in her backpack, where it stayed for the rest of the flight.

Anyway, after we got home, my wife wrote a letter to Delta explaining the situation. They sent her a very nice letter of apology, along with a gift basket containing about a dozen different varieties of coffee (of dubious value, since we’re Mormons and don’t drink coffee). But they also sent $100 ticket vouchers for all nine of us in the party! I think they knew that their flight attendants really screwed up and were trying to avoid a lawsuit.

37

My first trip to Korea on an Air Force charter back in '87. It’s about an 18 hour flight over there, and back then you still had to be in uniform to fly on a military charter.

The 747 was totally packed with people, but the trip was uneventful until we approached Osan AB. This was in July, the heart of Korea’s monsoon/ rainy season and Osan at the time was experiencing a torrential downpour.

To make matters worse, the Base’s instrument landing system was down and the pilot couldn’t find the runway. The cloud cover was pretty low.

The plane is bouncing all over the place and most of the people were getting sick. To the point where the pilot came on the intercom and said don’t try getting to the bathrooms, use the airsick bags.

So after about 100 years of this, the pilot comes on the intercom again… “Well folks, we’re coming around for our 3rd attempt at finding the runway. The instrument landing system is out, which is why we’re having problems” (this is how I knew about the ILS problem). The pilot continues, “If we don’t find the runway this time around, we’ll have to divert up to Seoul”.

I’d already been sick once, and was about to again and thought, “please just get this beast on the ground somehow”

Fortunately, on our 3rd go round, they got the ILS up and we landed, no problem.

Osan doesn’t have those nice, covered (are they called jetways?) dealios for the plane to pull up to and you get off. Oh no. They sit out on the tarmac (guessing again) and pull stairs up to the door, like in older movies. Remember that torrential downpour? It was still going on.

Around 400 people on the plane, and 1 guy had an umbrella. Must have been his 2nd trip to Korea. So after 18 hours in the air, wearing Air Force blues (that look like crap now), and after being sick, everyone got soaked too.

The icing on the cake for me was, they didn’t have a dorm room for me, and billeting was full, so I got stuck in a Korean hotel off base.

ah, good times. good times.

38

Seven or eight years ago we spent Thanksgiving in Lake Tahoe: it was an easy flight from San Diego to Reno and we had a great time until the morning it was time to fly back.

I had come down with a terrible cold and bronchitis and by the time we drove down the mountain and got to Reno I was running a high fever and felt like crap on toast. We boarded and took off in the plane and as it climbed the pressure in my ears increased more, and more, and more . . . until I was totally deaf. The plane from LA to San Diego was cancelled and we ended up driving a nasty rental car home at 2am. My partner can’t see well at night and I had to drive, still totally deaf. It was a really weird experience.

39

This one happened just 5 days ago but it went surprisingly well in a funny way. My family and I were on a flight back to Boston via Dallas. As soon as our American Airlines flight pushed back from the gate, there was this instantly this smell in the cabin that smelled like gunpowder to me.

It was almost like a scene from the movie Airplane. The captain announced that the auxiliary power generator had completely failed and burned so that is what we were smelling. The funny part was that he said “The auxiliary power generator is like a small jet engine in the rear of the plane. It is called the auxiliary generator because we have another one and it probably won’t be a problem to fly like this as long as nothing else goes wrong in the flight.” Everyone looked at each other but I didn’t see any panic.

We were towards the rear of the plane and, as the captain was making his announcement, firetrucks and police were swarming the rear of the plane. There must have been 15 vehicles with lights flashing back there with nobody seeming to care much at all. After about 10 minutes, the mechanics declared the airplane unsafe to fly and we had to deboard and wait for another plane. It only took about an hour to get another so it worked out Ok but the whole scene was funny because of its contrast with what was going on outside and what the Captain was saying.

40

The wife and I were flying from Ontario, California to Seattle on an Alaska Airlines MD-90. MD-90’s have 5 across seating, 3 on the right, 2 on the left. We got the last 2 seats on the left hand side just in front of the lavatory. Just as the plane lifted off the runway, an older very overweight woman announced she had to use the lavatory and use it now. A flight attendant told her she would have to wait about 5 minutes but the woman would have none of that. She jumped up and went into the lav. Even with the engine of the plane just to the left of us, we could hear her gastric explosions. She finally came out just as the plane leveled off, we were hit with the smell she left behind. For the next hour or so, she was up and in the lav every 10 to 15 minutes, the stench was getting unbearable despite the flight attendants best efforts. A doctor on board gave her something but by then the damage had been done. The worst part was the waste tank in that lav was now full leaving just the one forward lav available for all the passengers, about 80 or so.

Somewhere over Southern Oregon the co-pilot came to the back of the airplane and apologized to those of us in the last 6 rows. He then told the flight attendant all drinks were on the airline because of the inconvenience. By the time we landed in Seattle many of us were in a very happy mood, me included.