Even worse than the Jump to Conclusions Mat, it’s The Beeping Wallet. What’s it do you ask? It beeps, every 20 seconds, when you take a credit card (or such) out of it. And it continues to beep until you replace the card, or for up to 5 minutes.
:rolleyes:
In In the Name of Science, Martin Gardner recalls two famouly bad patents. One of these is a “Pedagogical Device” consisting of “two intertwined helices” that serve the purpose of “demonstrating the existence of God”. I have to look this one up again, now that you have easy internet access to the patent files. I’d love to know how two springs prove the existence of God.
Bear in mind that This Actually Got a Patent. Makes me less impressed with mine.
I see at least a dozen worse inventions just looking around my apartment. Having walked out of stores without my credit card more than once and when cashiering having forgotten to hand back credit cards more often than I should have, having a beeper quietly sound off doesn’t seem all that terrible.
Well, this isn’t necessarily the worst invention ever, but the infomercial bugs the hell out of me.
Magic Bullet: One can apparently make everything from omelettes, to fruit drinks, to salsa, to chicken salad in mere seconds! Imagine the possibilities and the time saved!
Well, sure, as long as you have all the ingredients for everything already washed, peeled, cooked, pre-cut and sitting in nice little bowls on your counter. Otherwise it’s still going to take you just as long to haul out the cherry tomatoes and wash them, then peel garlic, and wash and chop cilantro, then peel and quarter an onion, then,… well you get my point.
I’m willing to bet a lot of other dumb consumers never gave that a thought as they watched chicken salad being prepared in just “one, two, three, seconds!”
I actually love mine. But then, I only really use it to make protien smoothies. But for that it is very convenient.
Off the top of my head, the hot dog toaster.
That reminds me of Rachael Ray’s 30 Minute Meals. Yes, you too can make beef Bourginon in 30 minutes!
First, get out that tenderized and marinated steak that you have lying around. Next, add one cup of finely diced onions and 3 cups of freshly squeezed lemon juice.
A cereal dispenser, like this one
I was just out at the mall and saw one of these. On sale for $19.99, down from 50 bucks. I can’t imagine why anyone didn’t want to pay $50 for this thing. :rolleyes:
I remember seeing an ad in TV Guide, or some other TV listing magazine, maybe 25 years ago for a remarkable device that let you receive free TV. This remarkable little gizmo sat on top of your TV and used “amazing RF technology” to enable you to watch TV without paying for any cable or satellite service EVER AGAIN!
It was a fake plastic dish with rabbit-ear antennae on the side!
THE ROCK IN THE BOX!!!*
*Burning dog not included.
The Big Wheel tricycle has driven many parents to distraction. It’s a low-slung, blow-molded polyethylene trike, which would be a great idea if the whole thing weren’t a big hollow drum. It makes a terrible racket when a kid rides it around.
You take that back immediately! This* is the best birthday present I’ve evr gotten in my life. The hotdogs are fantastic, and it’s the only way to get well toasted buns that I know of. And it fits beautifully into my college dorm. It pays for itself when I’m hungry at midnight and every restaurant around is closed. Yummy.
There’s a new-fangled thing out now called a “toaster oven.” Kinda like a real oven, but fits in a dorm room. Handles this job nicely, and about a zillion others. But, hey, if you use it, all power to you. FWIW, Hammacher-Schlemmer carries one too, so maybe I’m off-base. … Nah!
Oh come on. All these things sound much more useful than a Kung-Fu Fighting Hamster, and somebody invented that. I know it because some misguided soul gave one to my son.
Not only that, it is a self-rejuvenating Kung-Fu Fighting Hamster. I keep throwing it out, yet with regularity–it reappears on my son’s dresser!
(Okay, maybe the Rock in the Box is not more useful.)
I SO want one of these. I want fresh picante sauce! And hummus!
Found it! It’s Socrates Scholfield’s Feb. 1914 patent, #1,087,186. You can search for it and view it on the US Patent Office Database. You can also look up the Psionic Hieronymous Maxchine (#2,482,773, granted 1949)
Back in probably the mid 70’s my grandparents once bought a thin plastic screen/lens type device that you put over a TV screen. It was supposed to turn a black & white TV into color one. Let’s just say it didn’t work too well. I seem to remember a blurry mismash of colors.
I wouldn’t pay $50, but I have been tempted to get a few of these. Sometimes I just get obsessed with getting rid of all packaging in the kitchen, and sometimes I feel too lazy to open and close the box of cereal (yes really) and I think they would be fun.
My nominee is the hard-boiled egg peeler. “Mind the overspray!” /Bridget Jones’s Diary
I heart the Kung Fu Hamster! Which is to say, I heart walking past it at Walgreens or wherever and hearing it once and only once. I asked a Walgreens cashier once what it was like to have to listen to those things constantly. She said that it stops registering after enough repetitions.
Am I really the only one who remembers Alex Chiu?