Worst Invention Ever...

[RandomLetters]

On the subject of stupid patents, the fact that#6,775,781 was granted to Microsoft in 2004 is pretty dumb; basically Microsoft patented thed idea that a user level program could ask for authentification to run with adminstrator priveledges. This in itself isn’t a bad idea, except of course Unices have had this ability with the SUDO command for at least 20 years. Really, they need to do more checks on this kind of stuff at the patent office.

[gigi]

@What Exit?

…open the bottom of a ketchup bottle so we could end the Problem of the ages.
Wasted Ketchup
That’s all I remember about it except that even as a 10 year old I thought it was an incredible stupid concept.

Clearly you didn’t live with my father, who would meld the slivers of soap into another bar, and cut the solid deodorant that sits below the plastic rim into pie pieces and use them. Now I waste things like that with impunity! Soap getting a little too thin to use comfortably? Off it goes! That last piece of paper towel that is extra-stuck to the roll? Toss it! while laughing like a mad scientist in the glee of living on my own!

[Least_Original_User_Name_Ever]

@Hilarity N. Suze

Oh come on. All these things sound much more useful than a Kung-Fu Fighting Hamster, and somebody invented that. I know it because some misguided soul gave one to my son.

Not only that, it is a self-rejuvenating Kung-Fu Fighting Hamster. I keep throwing it out, yet with regularity–it reappears on my son’s dresser!

(Okay, maybe the Rock in the Box is not more useful.)

ooh!
i’ve got one of those!
…the hamster, that is. i got it as a present. i can’t tell if i’m loved or not. it’s my best friend since first grade that gave it to me, too.

[What_Exit]

@gigi

Clearly you didn’t live with my father, who would meld the slivers of soap into another bar, and cut the solid deodorant that sits below the plastic rim into pie pieces and use them. Now I waste things like that with impunity! Soap getting a little too thin to use comfortably? Off it goes! That last piece of paper towel that is extra-stuck to the roll? Toss it! while laughing like a mad scientist in the glee of living on my own!

My mom use to pull the Soap trick. I forgot about that. I always associated that and Lentils with growing up in the Great Depression. I understand some younger people like Lentils, but I haven’t met them.
BTW: She had a mold to poor the melted soap into to make it a bar again. There is an invention whose time has passed.

Jim

[threemae]

@Nic2004

I seem to recall a device to hook to a telephone to make a light blink when it rang. This to let deaf people know when there was a call. My girlfriend of the time said “That’s a great idea!”. I said “So what happens then? They pick up the phone and…what? They can’t hear the other person.”
Her:" Ummm, oh yeah"
I never understood that one.

We have one of those at the radio station.

Brilliant idea.

Sometimes sound is just too obnoxious; I want one for my home.

[CalMeacham]

My mom use to pull the Soap trick. I forgot about that. I always associated that and Lentils with growing up in the Great Depression. I understand some younger people like Lentils, but I haven’t met them.
BTW: She had a mold to poor the melted soap into to make it a bar again. There is an invention whose time has passed.

Actually, one of the chindogus in the book 101 Useless Inventions (or its sequel) has a “Soap Squeezing Vice” that re-assembles soap shards into one block.

This site claims to have a reference to it, but I can’t find it:

www.philau.edu/InD/press/2003ind_readymade03a.pdf

[ralph124c]

In the days of black and white TVs, a sheet of colored transparent plastic was sold-you stuck the thing on your TV set screen and “instant, eye-filling color!” resulted. of course, the colors were all the same, and it really wasn’t color TV, but for $5 you could convert a B&W to color!
Also, anything marketed by the “Ron Popeil Scam Group”-nothing they sell ever works-it either breaks of doesn’t do what they claim it does…like the “pocket fisherman”.

[Beware_of_Doug]

@CalMeacham

Here’s the URL for Scholfield’s “Pedagogical Device”.:

Patent Database Search Results: <SRCH> in <BANR>

Thanks awful, Cal. Although I have to say, I don’t understand a word of it. I believe thinking like that is what happens to people if they don’t masturbate enough as teenagers (and there was an outright epidemic of that during the post-Victorian era).

If you want to find post-1976 patents that mention “God”, use the Boolean search feature. But you’ll have to wade through a lot of Godfreys and the like.

I expected that. What I didn’t expect was to come upon this in the description of a Seattle Mariners stadium novelty:

@Richard Nemeth

said side portions depending from said interconnecting portion and defining a space between them, below the interconnecting portion, and forming the side portions of god the letter “M”;

Kinda makes you wonder where the Almighty was during the 2001 AL championship series.