I love this guy and all the folks he plays with. Through him, I was introduced to Josh Turner. Check out his solo on this song:
I’ve supported Josh through Patreon for some time now
And yes great solo. One of many.
In “Acting Like Black Sabbath” by the Dayglo Abortions, Murray goes:
Tony Iommi is my god
His guitar solos have been osterized
That, just, NO…
And whatever the hell ‘osterized’ is.
I’ve let him know.
I’m bumping this not-so-old thread. Somebody please say something if it’s preferrable to start a new one.
I came across some truly awful verses last night on YouTube. From the kitchen, I heard a few words that made me stop what I was doing and back up the video for another listen. Yup, just what I’d thought:
I’ll sing to him, each spring to him
And worship the trousers that cling to him
Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I
What the hell? I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or groan, so I did both. I still can’t believe the great Ella Fitzgerald covered this stinker.
A few verses later:
Vexed again, perplexed again
Thank God, I can be oversexed again
Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I
Wow. I had a look online this morning, and it turns out that it’s a well-known standard penned by Rodgers and Hart (included in The Great American Songbook). Maybe some of you are familiar with it, but I’d never heard of it. After looking at the rest of the verses, I think the concept is okay, as it’s about the cycle of infatuation, seduction and disenchantment, which IMO is always interesting (after that last verse I’ve posted, the refrain switches to “Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered no more”). But it’s all so ham-fisted and cheesy!
Mmm… Ham and cheese…
Here’s a link to a video with lyrics.
My go for this topic:
"I would swallow my pride
I would choke on the rind
But the lack thereof would leave me empty inside
The lack thereof? Oh you sweet talker.
Quite a few of the standards have subpar lyrics. “Let’s Do It” is awful, I mean ‘educated fleas,’ really? The bridge to “These Foolish Things” is an exercise in lazy songwriting. “Polka Dots and Moonbeams” with the ‘pug-nose dream.’ Etc., etc.
“Educated fleas” isn’t so bad - it brings to mind the sideshow “flea circuses” that were still well known at the time.
I always took it be Greg Lake having a sense of humor about how pretentious prog-rock lyrics were …including his own.
(As mentioned upstream, Jon Anderson’s were some of the worst)
It reminded me of the end of John Prine’s “Illegal Smile”:
And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile,
It don’t cost very much, but it lasts a long while.
Won’t you please tell the man I didn’t kill anyone,
I was just trying to have me some fun.
Well done.
Hot dog bun.
My sister’s a nun.
I always thought this from Happy Together was pretty lame:
So happy together
And how is the weather?
Makes no sense in the context of the song. It feels like he just couldn’t come up with a good rhyme for “together”.
Jason Mraz’s song Unlonely never fails to make my heart smile. That said, this couplet is either insane or inspired:
I give you my word although I’m making words up
Unlonely ain’t a word, but I don’t give a fuck
(There’s an argument to be made that the actual “word” in the song is fruck, but I don’t see that as an improvement.)
So happy together
Is that sofa pleather?
Easy peasy.
Maybe it’s my general fondness for Larry Hart as a lyricist, but I’m not clear on what’s supposed to be so bad about the “Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered” lyrics. The song is from Rodgers and Hart’s 1940 show Pal Joey, sung by a rich, married woman who Joey is having an affair with. She’s older than he is, and for both of them it’s pretty much a purely sexual relationship, even if they occasionally pretend otherwise.
The lyrics support that. Even though Vera claims throughout the song that she loves Joey, the actual things that she finds attractive: “the trousers that cling to him,” the very blatant “oversexed,” and one that you didn’t quote, “horizontally speaking, he’s at his very best,” make it clear that she’s really in this relationship because he gives her a sexual excitement that she hasn’t been getting from her husband.
The lyrics all speak to the physical aspects of attraction in a way that wasn’t at all common on Broadway of that era. It’s an example of Hart giving the character exactly the right thing to say at that moment in the show, revealing character through song, as the best Broadway writers do.
It was a tremendously popular song, and has been covered by everyone from Doris Day to Rod Stewart.
I thought my post made it clear that I get what the lyrics are about. I didn’t post more verses in order to avoid copyright infringement. I don’t think they’re scandalous but rather clumsy and poorly constructed. If you like them, more power to you.
Kaylan and Volman were quite the irreverent types, though, so I can ride with that one.
From “Elenore”:
You’re my pride and joy, etc.
Kaylan and Volman played with Zappa for a long time.
And they are Flo and Eddie. So, yeah, irreverent.
I love that they sing the whole punctuation:
"You’re my pride and joy, et cetera…" 
“What is a man, what has he got, If not himself, then he has naught”.
Also, has anyone ever said “window pane” other than to rhyme with “rain”?
Given that And how is the weather? occurs once at the end of the song and, at least attempts to, break this up,
So happy together
And how is the weather?
So happy together
We’re happy together
So happy together
Happy together
So happy together
So happy together
I’m not really sure it even should be noticed let alone count as a “Worst lyric rhyme”.
Every other part of that is just rhyming together with together . . . that’s not rhyming!
Couple of gems from Macclesfield…
The Macc Lads - God’s Gift to Women:
She said I was good looking and I looked a bit like George Michael
But she didn’t want a f*ckin’ she were on her menstrual cycle
The Macc Lads - Charlotte:
She’s the type of crack that you’ve heard about, the sort they call infamous
Peroxide hair, dead long legs, and bog paper stuck to her an*s
I know this is an old post but I couldn’t let it go.
Firstly: lyrics by Gilbert, music by Sullivan. So the words are Gilbert’s fault.
Secondly: As the rest of the song indicates and as you somewhat note, the ludicrousness of the MG’s claims and the way he states them is entirely the joke.
Thirdly: A “gee” is a horse. “Sat a gee” means “rode a horse”, although the obvious forced rhyme of the phrasing is, as I said, entirely the joke.
I love “Elenore” because they build the rhyme off the first syllable of the name, not the last:
El-
-enore, gee I think you’re swell
And you really do me well…
As for “worst lyric rhymes”, Des’ree’s “Life” sometimes rhymes but at a terrible cost:
I’m afraid of the dark
'Specially when I’m in a park
And there’s no one else around
Ooh, I get the shivers
I don’t want to see a ghost
It’s a sight that I fear most
I’d rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news
“Toast”. Seriously, those are not so much lyrics as a cry for help.