I’m with Legomancer about Event Horizon.
[Mrs. White from Clue]
I hated it soooo much, it, it, the, flames. FLAMES on the side of my face…
[/Mrs. White from Clue]
Also detested Batman and Robin and Warren Beatty’s latest effort, Town & Country. HORRIBLE.
It just hit me – an obscure film called Gas is excruciatingly bad – so bad it’s not worth showing at a Bad Film Festival. What makes it worse is the presence of Donald “I’ll Do Anything for a Buck” Sutherland appearing in scenes that have nothing to do with the rest of the picture. It’s obvious they filmed his stuff first (or last), then just cut it in with the other scenes. Then they feature his name prominently to draw in the crowds. The killer is that he’s such a good actor. I know that other actors do this, especially when they need the cash (Donalf Pleasance, Laurence Olivier made some incredibly bad stuff just for the bucks), but Sutherland seems guilty of it more often.
And – Gone with the Wind a BAD movie? Them’s fightin’ words. I know there are people who say that the movie is simple-minded and racist and romanticizes the Old South, but – to be blunt – they’re wrong. The movie portrays the Civil War as seen by Southern society. The novel was incredibly well researched. That’s the way it was, folks. The Southern aristocracy lived that way, and didn’t think of themselves as cruel exploiters of the blacks. Considering that the movie proceeds from their POV, how should the movie portray them? As for perpetuating stereotypes – I would never have thought of Irish Catholic slaveholders. That’s pretty far from the usual image, but Mitchell based it on her researches and (I believe) her own family.
Oh, this is easy: Battlefield Earth. Yes, I paid to see it and I despised John Travolta, even before this joke. This is the one time I should’ve listened to the critics. They and I don’t usually agree so I don’t pay them any mind, typically.
Don’t get me wrong, Bunny loves her some science-fiction. I liked Waterworld, Tank Girl, even Mission to Mars. The original of Battlefield Earth should be destroyed and the viewing or forced viewing of any copies declared “inhumane” by the Geneva Convention.
The back of my head is IN a bad movie: Grandview USA. This nasty little secret of some otherwise successful people was filmed in and around the area where I grew up. A rather unusual occurance, considering I grew up on a farm where the nearest town had a population of 150.
Jamie Lee Curtis, C. Thomas Howell, Patrick Swayze, and Troy Donahue were in it. They used extras from the locale to fill in on a particularly awful “prom scene” among others It’s this horrid tale about the Howell kid not wanting to do what his father wants him to regarding college, and there’s a demolition derby sub-plot thrown in. Ouch.
The truly pathetic thing about it though, is that every once in awhile I’ll see it on USA or something and I can’t tear my eyes away. “Look, it’s the courthouse! Hey, was that Ike’s car? That’s mainstreet when Square West used to be there! Amazing! Hey, did you see the back of my head? Did you see it? It was right there! I can’t believe you missed it!”
If you’re not in it, I’d avoid it. A wretched work.
First of all, without being taken too seriously and dragged into the pit, whoever it was who said Leaving Las Vegas was horrible - you are the Anti-Christ. I love that movie - I cry like a little girl every time I watch it.
Other movies mentioned here that, while I don’t think are particularly great movies, I like them:
Blair Witch Project
Starship Troopers
Armageddon
Tomb Raider
I even kind of liked Waterworld – I told you I was a push over.
Oh, and one other thing … I think I blocked this from my memory as I would a traumatic experience - …
The Mummy Returns - that movie was so bad I feel I need a shower for just admitting to have seen it.
I don’t see many movies these days in the theater and I’m awfully disappointed when I plunk down cash for a stinker. The latest was Vertical Limit. I’d just read “Into Thin Air” and was on a mountain-climbing high. Somehow I’d gotten the idea that this was a dramatization of the events in that book. Groan. It was a stupid action film, no different than any other stupid action film, except we had the bad guy in a parka instead of a jungle, desert, urban landscape, etc., etc. I think I was most offended by the fact that the actors sometimes went without gloves, and I’d just been reading about people whose noses were falling off from frost bite and had to use oxygen to breathe.
I also paid for Independence Day, which I thought was an insult to science fiction. It had an interesting premise (bigger and more powerful aliens come and it looks like we could actually be wiped out …gasp.) But no, they’ve got to put the president in a fighter plane and have him save the day. As a side issue, I was completely annoyed by the Will Smith girlfriend, who’s supposed to be this wonderful woman that Her Man Will Do Anything To Get Home To. What job to they stick her with? Dancer. “Ballet?” “No, exotic.” In the world of cliched movies, an exotic dancer is a noble professon, besmirched by poor narrow-minded puritans who don’t understand what an elevated calling this is. What crap. They’re strippers and what they do cheapens all of womankind. [/rant]
I’d like to know what’s wrong with The Fifth Element. I’ve rarely seen a fresher and more interesting movie.
And, I must add that I’ve never been enamored with Gone With the Wind, the movie. I’d read the book several times before seeing it, and it seemed such a pale imitation that I’ve never been able to muster much excitement for it. The costumes don’t seem to be correctly period, and this bugs me. Clark Gable’s delivery of the famous “Frankly, my dear I don’t give a damn” is glib and about as meaningful as flipping Scarlett the finger. Rhett Butler by the end of the novel was a man who’d given up hope, wore down by years of Scarlett’s fickle neglect, by the death of his daughter, by age and time. His “I don’t give a damn” is a dejected admission that Scarlett’s love ought to make him happy, but he’s just too tired to care.
Oh and, (I can’t believe I’m going to admit this) … Kevin Costner with gills is, somehow, an exciting thing. Makes my flippers stand up… 
Other People’s Money
I literally put my head up against the wall and went to sleep.
I had a hard time with this one until I remembered
SPAWN
Hated the credits
Hated the script
Hated the effects
at one point in this piece of crap, the older mentor places his hand on Spawn’s shoulder and says “you have much to learn my son”. It was at this moment that I audibly groaned and put my head on my knees. My friend patted me on the shoulder and said it was almost over. HE WAS WRONG!
I’m guessing they didn’t want to waste any money on words so they pulled it out of The Big Book of Cliches and spent it all on effects.
GOD IT SUCKKKKKKEDDDD
I forgot about that one. Another one that made me realize I was paying for too much crap.
For me it was Chris Tucker that really pushed it over the edge. I could not STAND him or his character. I was fully willing to have the world destroyed in the film if it meant getting him off the screen.
I also just felt it was a bunch of wasted opportunities. Nothing was as interesting as it clearly could have been. For example, there’s an extended scene where Gary Oldman demonstrates the capabilities of the weapons that are being sold, and they can do allsorts of cool things. For the rest of the movie, these cool weapons with scads of features are simply machine guns.
I just found it really dull. A lot of setup, little to no payoff.
Ummm…how about “Armed and Dangerous”? John Candy’s worst effort, featuring Eugene Levy being anything but funny. It was the first time I ever wanted my money back for a movie.
I remember hating Meet the Applegates because of the following subplot:
I think this movie was supposed to be a comedy.
People were walking out - I should have been one of them.
*Anything by the producer/director team of Bruckheimer / Bay (Armageddeon, Pearl Harbor, etc.) is going to marketing-dpeartment-driven drivel. It will not be badgood.
*Battlefield Earth was crap lousy, but managed to be badgood.
*I’m a big Prince fan, but Under the Cherry Moon is one of the worst films ever made. I watched it and Plan 9 From Outer Space back to back, and Plan 9 was twice the movie Cherry Moon was.
*My theory on Highlander II is that they had a much longer movie but ran out of money halfway through, so they just decided to try and piece together what they had already filmed. Not that the much longer movie would have been a good movie or anything… Not badgood.
I have only walked out of two movies in my life (although I should have walked out of Armageddeon or ID4!), and they were Peggy Sue Got Married and Manhattan Murder Mystery.
My favorite scene in Mission to Mars is when Tim Robbins takes off his helmet and spaces himself. He’s got this look on his face that says “I got my money. I’m outta here! So long, suckers!”
*And…the winner for the worst movie I ever paid money to see in the theater is…
First Knight
My Bottom Five:
BATMAN AND ROBIN: The single worst motion picture ever made by a group of supposedly professional, veteran filmmakers.
SUPERMAN IV—THE QUEST FOR PEACE. Famous for revealing Superman’s previously undiscovered power, Great-Wall-O-China-Vision. I’d already seen Supermen II through III; you’d think I’d learn, wouldn’t you?
CHOSEN SURVIVORS: An early 1970s sci-fi thriller wherein a group of test subjects are marooned underground to test an expermental nuclear shelter. Everything goes just dandy until – wait for it - - * vampire bats * invade the shelter.
TESTAMENT: Made during the early 80s rush of “Omigod, we’re all gonna die in a nuclear war” hysteria, this supposedly sensitive, finely-acted mood piece about the last days of a mother and her two children after The Big One drops is boring enough to make you pull your own tongue out, just for something to do.
CALIGULA: If you tell me I’m too tightassed to appreciate the “subtle humor” and “black comedy” in this stinkfest, I’ll beat you to death with your own leg. The only thing in my experience that comes close to this film is the stench of a dead cat I used to pass on my way to school every day. It was more than thirty years ago, but I can still smell that cat; CALIGULA was much more recent, and I’ll go to my grave with the aroma.
I’m with anyone who said Highlander II. It is not possible to make a worse movie.
“Howard the Duck.” My thinking at the time was, “It’s by Star Wars’s George Lucas, so it’s got to be good. Right?” WRONG!
Honorable Mention: The 1998 version of “Godzilla.” Doesn’t get the big prize only because I didn’t pay for the tickets; however, it still sucked two hours out of my life.
My God, I thought I was the only one who’d seen that piece of junk. A truly, truly awful film, and I’d forgotten it when I answered this thread. Surely a contender for worst film I paid to see. I have to agree with you about Caligula, too. And what really hurt was that I paid more to see it than they were charging for the other movies at the Googolplex. It was a “premium” film.
SGT. PEPPER’S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND
I figured, it’s got Beatles songs, and Peter Frampton and the Bee Gees, so how bad could it be? Very bad. Incredibly bad. I needed mental Lysol after viewing it.
No real plot, just random Beatles lyrics, no acting ability, and George Burns singing! Arrgh!! They truly fouled up almost all the music too! (Earth, Wind, and Fire being the exception.) The only good to come of this was the collapse of the star’s careers.
I actually like a lot of the movies that have been mentioned.
Drowning Mona
Meet Joe Black (ok, it’s bad, but I can’t help but watch it any time it appears on cable. Maybe it’s the Rothko paintings in the mansion. Or maybe it’s Claire Forlani constantly looking like she’s about to have a siezure brought on by nervousness.)
Waterworld
Starship Troopers
Mission To Mars (but only up to the point where they meet the cartoon martian.)
But to answer the OP, the worst movie I’ve paid to see was Pay It Forward. There was some pretty heavyweight talent in that film, and the idea could have resulted in a good story, but instead it came out as a manipulative piece of crap.
And in second place, I vote for Micheal, with John Travolta as an angel.
Worst movie that I knew was bad but wanted to see it just for popcorn goofin’ fun: Robot Jox. I’m a sucker for big robots slugging it out with each other.
Worst movie that I didn’t know was bad and was severely disappointed by: A tossup between Godzilla (the Sony remake with the cowardly CGI iguana) and Star Trek V. I’ll probably give it to Godzilla for totally screwing up the Soho chessmeister franchise…