Worst Movie You've Paid To See

I’m almost positive this has been done before, but what the hell – new forum and all …
I’ve stated before that I’m a push over. I like almost every movie I go to see. At least I very rarely actively hate a movie (although Planet of the Apes almost shook me of that habit).

But I can say without a doubt that the worst movie I’ve ever paid to see was Klippendorf’s Tribe. I had gone to see it with my wife and several members of her family, so I couldn’t walk out, but oh man did I want to.

It was painful to watch, I felt sorry for Richard Dreyfuss. I have no idea what possessed him to make that movie. Probably kissing Jenna Elfman.

The Carebears movie.

Oh the joy of sharing movies with the offspring!

I inflicted Pearl Harbor on myself in order to see the Lord of the Rings trailer. It’s a good thing that trailer was worth it, because the movie was painful in the extreme.

I thought about walking out, but then figured “Hell, I’ve seen two hours and haven’t died, so I might as well stick it out.” I should have walked out.

Mission to Mars. The only reason that I didn’t walk out was the fact that my friend’s VERY hot younger sister seemed to be enjoying herself, and she was sitting next to me…

Turns out that she hated the movie almost as much as I did, and was smiling because she noticed that my attention kept drifting to her.

Leaving Las Vegas was excruciating. Once again, I was with my parents, and Dad seemed to like it, otherwise I most DEFINITELY would have walked out. I spent the last hour WAITING and HOPING for at least Nicholas Cage, if not also Elizabeth Shue, to die. It took WAY too long.

Barton Fink.

I normally like the Coen Brothers, but man I was pissed about paying to see that.

Well, I didn’t actually pay for this movie. I was only about 7 at the time so my parents paid for it. But it was the suckiest suckfest that ever did suck.

The movie was called TM. It was about a little girl who loves a robot too much and so the ever so precocious robot named itself Too Much. TM. I’ve never before or since heard the audience groan at a movie, but when we saw a black sheet with holes punched through it trying to pass for the night sky, no one could contain themselves. Anyway, she runs away with the robot, through Japan, meeks a perky Japanese boy, and they have a grand adventure elluding the evil mean bad guys who want to steal TM for their nefarious purposes.


The good guys win. The bad guys don’t. Children everywhere sing “Hooooray for TM! Hoooooray for TM!” Crimeny, it’s been 17 years and I can’t get the damn song out of my head.

I was visiting an old college buddy and we needed to see a movie. So, check the listings. Hmmmm…something science fictiony, actiony, bare-breasty…

How about “Species II”? After all, “Species” wasn’t SOOOO bad, and there were cool aliens, and it had that chick, and she had bare breasts and all. So off we go.

“Species II” was the absolute worst movie I have ever, ever paid to see. I mean, I’ve seen worse stuff on TV, cable or video, but in a theater? It was really really horrible. And you couldn’t even see that one chick’s breasts very well.

The runner up was “Armageddon”.

I apologize for the inaccuracy I have just discovered in the above post. It has only been 14 years since TM was released. Looking it up on IMDB reveals that, of the four main actors, this was the last acting job for two of them and the other two couldn’t find work until EIGHT years later. This should tell you something about the effect this movie had SAG and the population in general.
That damn song is still in my head.

A tossup between Armageddon and Showgirls.

Wing Commander. I only paid 50 cents to see it, but I was still pissed about it.

I’d include Armageddon, but I think we snuck into that one.

Boy, you youngsters today don’t know how good you have it. In my time there were movies so bad that they caused so much brain damage in the audience that they had to get lobotomies just to raise their IQ enough to be able to drive home. (Through ten feet of snow. Uphill each way.)

Nightfall had to be one of the worst. They managed to take one of the classic works of science fiction and screw it up.

And I have yet to see a good version of a Heinlein book.

Of course Lost Horizon is probably the worst mainstream movie ever made. It was so bad I wanted to demand my money back even though I was seeing it for free.

Godzilla, the one with Matthew Broderick and that POS actress.

** The Cell ** leaps to mind.

I’m pretty good about knowing before I see it whether I’ll be able to extract some pleasure from a film. ** The Cell **suckered me the same way it suckered everyone: fabulous visuals.

But my ass was aching 20 minutes into it.


PS: I assume the OP means “Paid to go out to see” because I have paid for almost every movie I’ve ever seen because I rent like a fool.

And I’m worse than ever before. Netflix rocks.

Barton Fink a bad movie?? For shame! It’s one of the greatest movies I’ve ever seen! The metaphors, the incredible performance put in by John Goodman…perhaps the ultimate fusion of comedy and sheer, gut-wrenching despair. My god, man!

Halloween H20. It was just a movie night with friends, but we groaned through the whole thing and, although it lasted a good hour and a half, the plot was so simple and stupid that when we got out we would have swore the whole thing was only about 30-45 minutes long…

Dungeons & Dragons. Yup, in the theatre.

I figured, “Hey, I’m a gamer-geek! I’ve played D&D! This could be cool!”

Oh, how wrong I was.

It might have been more enjoyable if the producers, director, actors, screenwriter, and everyone else involved in the making of this film had just taken a dump on the audience instead of making the movie.

I had heard that Battlefield Earth was the Biggest Steaming Load[sup]TM[/sup] to hit theatres in a very long time, if not ever. I watched it when it got to cable, just to see. It was better than D&D.

I got you all beat.
I paid to see Waterworld.
I sat through it.
Should I admit that?

Well 2000 Miles to Graceland was pretty fucking bad. But I’m going to go with Darwin’s Finch and agree that Dungeons and Dragons ( I was bored, it was a matinee, but I still should hsave known better ) was, hands down, the worst film I’ve seen in a decade. Even Showgirls has more going for it ( somehow ). When the hero screamed ( in an almost theatrically bad tone of voice ) “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO…” when his annoying, steppin’ fetchit-style sidekick bought it, I couldn’t even laugh. I just sat there, stupefied.

Crunchy Frog: With all due respect, you’re nuts :smiley: . Barton Fink is a great film, with one of Goodman’s best performances. The Coen brothers can do no wrong :wink: .

  • Tamerlane


I was with two other females who refused to see A.I. with me, so I went to that movie with them.

It wasn’t a horrific movie, I just never would’ve paid to see it on my own.