Just wondering what your idea of the worst movie ever was.
Mine?
“Boys” Starring Wynona Ryder
Hmm. Entering Worst Movie into the SDMB search engine produced 16 threads.
Plan 9 From Outer Space. It’s so bad, it’s bad.
Dunno about worst, but the most unwatchable and incomprehensible movie I’ve seen has gotta be “Manos: Hands of Fate”. Saw it a few years ago at “The World’s Worst Movie Festival” in Edmonton. The plot made absolutely no sense, and one of the chief villians seemed to be menacing because of his overdeveloped knees (I kid you not). I understand that Mystery Science Theatre has released their own version; maybe with their commentary, it might be more entertaining, if not understandable.
Not even close.
“Space Mutiny” starring Cameron Mitchell and John Phillip Law, who didn’t appear to be on the set at the same time. It looks like they shot two different movies – one in the bridge of a spaceship, the other in an industrial plant. And when they were done, they realized its running time was much too short for feature length, so they show a subplot about space witches, who 1. come aboard the ship and 2. dance. The space battle footage was taken from “Battlestar Gallactica.” And after a crewmember is killed, she can be spotted quite clearly in the next scene alive and on the job.
And, for an authoritative source, the IMDB lists the following as worst:
The bottom 100 movies as voted by our users
Note: Each title has received 50 or more votes
1
Future War (1995) 1.4 (450 votes)
Bat People, The (1974) 1.4 (142 votes)
US Seals (1999) 1.4 (82 votes)
4
Manos, the Hands of Fate (1966) 1.5 (2305 votes)
Hobgoblins (1987) 1.5 (688 votes)
Space Mutiny (1988) 1.5 (580 votes)
Dis (1995) 1.5 (410 votes)
Nuevos extraterrestres, Los (1983) 1.5 (251 votes)
Howling: New Moon Rising (1995) 1.5 (220 votes)
Zaat (1982) 1.5 (189 votes)
Girl in Gold Boots (1969) 1.5 (184 votes)
Quest for the Lost City (1990) 1.5 (161 votes)
Skydivers, The (1963) 1.5 (159 votes)
Chicken Park (1994) 1.5 (132 votes)
Party at Kitty and Stud’s, The (1970) 1.5 (91
What a coincidence. I just rented the “worst movie ever” tonight: Battlefield Earth. It’d be on the IMDB Bottom 100, were it not for the Scientologists inflating its rating.
For a movie to be truly the “worst”, it must not merely be inept, it must also be boring. Plan 9, while incredibly inept, is fun to watch because of it. BE is just…whew.
Almost forgot: here’s a fascinating article about the making of Manos: The Hands Of Fate, perhaps the most infamous movie ever mocked on MST3K.
“Manos” was really, really bad. But never underestimate “Showgirls” when you’re looking for big, steaming piles of crapulence.
OMYGOD! Battlefield Earth, by far. A must see for shear, mind-numbing movie viewing pleasure.
Clay Pigeons, starring Janeane Garafalo, Jauquin Phoenix, and some really naked chick. Oh, man did it suck! I rented it because I thought, Janeane, can’t go wrong. But it went terribly wrong. JG is an FBI agent, there are gratuitous sex scene, I understand about 10% of the plot, and halfway through I was checking my e-mail. It was awful.
Blue Velvet. The only movie I’ve walked out of twice. I was working in a theatre when it came out, and went in to watch it, and walked out after 20 minutes. Godaweful. A few weeks later, some friends said “you didn’t give it a chance; it’s great!” So I went in and force myself to stay 40 minutes or so before I couldn’t take it any more. Worst ever.
Now wait a minute here…there are some movies that are so bad, it’s entertaining to sit there and mock them. Then there’s others that are so bad, I mean gut wrenchingly, puke inducingly bad you must get up and leave the theatre, $7 be damned. The only one of those (though I actually got up and left a theatre twice cuz the movie sucked so hard) was a p.o.s. with Kevin Bacon after john hughes love affair thing. Something about him being a bicycle messenger in New York but the whole thing was basically like “who give a flying crap??!” and I had to leave before my eyes became permanently crossed. The other film, which I can’t recall at all, had to have been dreadful as the entire episode seems to have been blocked from my memory. (I remember paying the $7 to get in though)
Which kinda “bad” movies are we going for here though?
I’m glad that Robot Monster was spared the IMDB’s worst of the worst list. It’s often maligned as one of thos “so bad they’re good” films, but that is just unfair Medvedism. If Bertholt Brecht could establish character by pinning signs on his actors’ backs like “The Victim,” what’s wrong in putting a main in a gorila suit and a diving helmet? The scene where the monster questions his mission with his superior is as sturdy dialog as an in film on the nature of totalitarianism. It can boast a film score by Ellmer Berstein. And I tell you this: any actor who endures a gorilla suit with a diving helmet earns every penny of his pay. When the movie flopped, the director attempted suicide - something no hack director ever does. I’d rather watch Robot Monster than malodorous melodrama like that recent film that featured a diving helmet, any day!
Wesley Snipes’ egregious “Passenger 54” deserves an dishonorable mention. This fetid dreck was so shockingly bad, so unredeemably wretched that I was audibly rooting for the entire plane to crash–and quickly–just to end the whole damn movie.
“Perfect,” with John Travolta was heinous and deserving of a public stoning. So is Travolta, but that’s another issue.
“Slithy Tove
I’m glad that Robot Monster was spared the IMDB’s worst of the worst list. It’s often maligned as one of thos “so bad
they’re good” films, but that is just unfair Medvedism. If Bertholt Brecht could establish character by pinning signs on his ctors’ backs like “The Victim,” what’s wrong in putting a main in a gorila suit and a diving helmet? The scene where the monster questions his mission with his superior is as sturdy dialog as an in film on the nature of totalitarianism. It can boast a film score by Ellmer Berstein. And I tell you this: any actor who endures a gorilla suit with a diving helmet earns every penny of his pay. When the movie flopped, the director attempted suicide - something no hack director ever does.I’d rather watch Robot Monster than malodorous melodrama like that recent film that featured a diving helmet, any day!”
I had to say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! Now I know the name of the origianl film that MSTK did as an epeisode and was hands down the funniest episode I had seen. If anyone happens to have a copy of this sucker lying around please let me know!(Please tell me it was in black and white with pretty much entirely forgettable actors doing inane diologue, some weird kinda “lightning” thing though the whole thing whenever the monster walked…)
“Dagger of Kamui” It’s a Japanese animated movie. It’s long. It’s predictable. It features long sequences of ninjas running through a featureless landscape. The convolutions of the plot are painfully contrived, and seem to have been placed arbitrarily. Imagine the creators of the old “Hercules” cartoon watching a Kurisawa film and deciding that they, too, could write an epic.
“Fortress”, starring Christopher Lambert and Loryn Locklin, was pretty hideous. Oddly enough, I remember almost nothing about this movie, other than the overwhelming desire for it to end. That and the line “I’m not very friendly to anyone who tortures my husband”.
“Space Trucker” was also passably bad. Some friends and I watched it on TV a few weeks ago. None of us had the power to change the channel… must have some kind of mind-draining power… Anyhow, after it was over, Jeff shouted out “What an incredibly dumb ending! How stupid was the writer?”, and proceeded to explain the trans-neptunian-object sized hole in the plot of the movie. We pimp-slapped him. He shouldn’t have touched something that dirty with his brain.
Well, I was hoping to have an experience like Max Torque with Plan 9 but I found it so bad that it was…bad. Not fun. Some of the old Italian Hercules movies are fun in their awfulness. So many bad movies I avoid because…people say they’re bad! I’ve only heard negative things about The Ninth Gate but I haven’t seen it.
soccerhooligan
I now have children. I rent movies. The Ninth Gate was BAD…but not “turn it off, I can’t take it it’s so bad, to hell with the $3 I spent to get it”. I definately don’t recommend it though. Save your money on that piece of crap.
My hubby had a worse time with “Titus”, which I thought had a great story, the visials were a bit jarring especially if you didn’t know what to expect. (I’d recommend Titus…just um, be ready for Shakespeare (sp?) and something completely different. Worth the $3 though!)
My vote, hands down is for Three Idiots in the Woods a film also known as The Blair Witch Project. I mean, there really are no writers to blame, but those three people were f*cking morons! I mean they video taped the damn map! Seeing as how they had infinite batteries, it’s not exactly rocket science to figure out that, hey, maybe they should rewind a bit, pause it, and navigate their way out!
Not to mention they were irritable, whiny, and morons. It was like watching Road Rules for two hours. Blecch! :mad:
No, no, you guys have omitted the greatest cinematic abortion of our time: Nothing But Trouble, starring John Candy, Dan Akyroyd, Demi Moore and others. I saw it in the theaters, and it was without a doubt the most painful experience I’ve ever had with the lights off:eek:. I fear the reason nobody remembers it is that we’re all too thankfully trying to collectively forget this nightmare.
The worst movie was The Pest, starring John (Mr Annoying) Leguizamo. It became annoying during the opening credits, and became unbearable after 30 minutes. ‘Manos, the hands of fate’, bas as it was, was better than ‘The Pest’.