Supertramp’s “Take a look a look at my girlfriend, she’s the only one I got.” (“Logical Song”)
An example of Roger Hodgson being a little twee, cute.
The line “The world is a vampire” from Bullet the Butterfly’s Wing by Smashing Pumpkins always grated on my nerves for some reason.
I love the *Misplaced Childhood *album from Marillion, but only once I get past the opening line of:
“Huddled In the safety of a pseudo silk kimono
wearing bracelets of smoke, naked of understanding…”
Boy does that line shout “we’re fancy art-rockers!”
The rare Kinks track, When I Turn Off the Living Room Light, is one of those “you’re funny looking but I still love you” songs. It’s a pretty good song, but the opening line is “Who cares if you’re Jewish/and your breath smells of garlic”. Even factoring in irony/sarcasm, that song nearly kills the song at the start.
“Have you heard, about the lonesome loser…”
Yeah, that’s bad!
No conversation about horrible lyrics is complete without mentioning “MacArthur Park”. I can’t even bring myself to copy and paste it, or link to it; find it yourself, if you dare.
Yes!!!
I second this. For years I thought he was saying “meridian”
:eek: You stop that right now!
Funny, I was just listening to “Play It All Night Long” by Warren Zevon on the way to work this morning and was impressed by the awfulness of its opening line:
Grandpa pissed his pants again, he don’t give a damn…
Me too.
I love the Pumpkins, but Billy’s lyrics often smack of bad angsty adolescent poetry. While “Bullet with Butterfly Wings” does make me slightly cringe, “Ava Adore”’s opening line is the one that really makes me want to gag: “It is you that I adore/you will always be my whore.”
“Please lock me away and don’t allow the day here inside where I hide with my loneliness”
World Without Love, written by Paul McCartney and sung by Peter and Gordon. John Lennon thought it was the worst opening line of a song every.
See, that’s one of many written-out lyrics that look goofy on the page, but, when sung, actually sound quite good and natural. I think it’s actually quite a beautiful line that captures the feeling of adolescent longing for love. There’s a youthful innocence/naivete about it.
HAHAHA!! That was my first thought too. I thought for years they were saying - warm winds blowing the stars around. I still sing it that way!
Agree wholeheartedly!! UGH
Sorry to go 180 on you, but this thread has me unable to think of anything other than one of my fave first lines:
I wish to the lord I’d never been born
or died when I was young
Cheery little sentiment from “I Truly Understand That You Love Another Man.” Love me them Carolina Chocolate Drops!
Sorry for the digression…
“I walk 47 miles of barbed wire”
A bizarre opening line to a bizarre song. The singer brags about his collection of dead snakes and human skulls and then asks Arlene to take a walk with him.
Nobody ever saw Arlene again.
Except, as opening lines go, that one wasn’t so bad:
“Spring was never waiting for us, girl;”
As for England Dan and John Ford Coley, I know there are actually lyrics sites that use the misheard lyrics about the wind and the stars. 
I know this has been debated interminably, here and elsewhere, but does anyone have a from-the-horse’s-mouth, “that settles it once and for all” cite for what the official lyrics are?
It’s “I’m not talking 'bout millennium”, guys. He’s reassuring the woman he’s wooing that he isn’t in a crazy cult or trying to sell her on some end of the world obsession. He’s just a regular guy who wants to get laid, even if he has the nickname “England” weirdly despite being from Texas.
Also, not opening lyrics to the song, but one of the non-Tupac rappers in “Hit 'em Up” starts out, “I’m from N-E-W Jerz, where plenty murders occurs”. So, not as many murders as New York, but he’s not some hick from Podunk either who’s only seen like, one or two murders. Dude’s got cred, even if he is from N-E-W Jerz.