Going through all science fiction, what would you say is the worst starship of all time…criteria being performance, mission failure, etc.
My pick is 2001’s Discovery:
18 months from Earth to Jupiter,
computer malfunction,
all hands lost,
ends up destroyed in sequel.
Your picks?
That was a bummer, but what about Buck Roger’s?
It was the first with those wacky zig-zag sliding doors. I bet people were always bumping their knees entering a room 
When I was a little, little kid there was a cheap-O TV movie called “Battle Beyond the Stars”. The spaceship in it was named “Nell” (which is lame enough in itself) but the thing also looked like a cross between a banana slug and a hammerhead shark, so it had like zero chick-pulling prospects.
I suspect it’d even be easier to impress the girls in the crappy polygonal no-anti-aliasing CRAY-rendered “Gunstar” from The Last Starfighter.
“Hey baby, I got the high score in a videogame”!
Feh…
The Soyokaze* from [I}Irresponsible Captain Tyler* isn’t much of a ship, though I suppose that technically it did save the universe…
For overall failure, I’d have to go with the alien starship from Ariel. Aside from failing to take over the earth it went way over budget, its main components were obsolete and breaking down due to a lack of maintenance, shipboard unemployment rates were at an all-time high, they were running out of giant monsters, there was no good place to go shopping nearby, and it didn’t even look particularly cool.
Douglas Adams’ The Starship “Titanic”
Disappeared on it’s maiden voyage. Who’d’ve thunk it?
Inky- said,
When I was a little, little kid there was a cheap-O TV movie called “Battle Beyond the Stars”. The spaceship in it was named
“Nell” (which is lame enough in itself) but the thing also looked like a cross between a banana slug and a hammerhead
shark, so it had like zero chick-pulling prospects.
Actually it was not a made-for-TV movie, it was Roger Corman’s rip-off (?) of The Seven Samurais/Magnificent Seven.
My vote for worst starship is for the one in Flesh Gordon.
In The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eigth Dimension (1984), the ship the aliens had at the end was supposed to travel into the eigth dimension and release evil red lectroids upon the universe. The thing looked like a cross between a lump of coral and tank. The ugliest thing you could imagine (they tried really hard!). And the damn thing never worked. They ended up having John Lithgow (3rd Rock from the Sun) piloting the thing through a brick wall.
It was quite humourous.
The Death Star (original). One-hit wonder.
The Fralthi-class fighter from Wing Commander. It’s about as comparable in strength as a TIE Fighter, which is another crappy class ship.
I got two words for those of you in the know: Event Horizon.
If you’re not in the know, I’ll be happy to explain it to you in beautiful, GORY detail.
RENT IT! I love that movie. Loveit.
Ktinga class battle cruiser…a Klingon vessel from the original series. According to a friend of mine, it’s just a piece of crap…falls apart if you look at it cross-eyed.
Take that, Klingon empire!!!
Event Horizon…yea talk about a good ship design
"Hey I know we can do warps by making black holes…of course going through them puts you in hell but only for a second or so.
Whaddya think? What? Its a good idea!"
Jefferson. Fine as an airplane. Not so good outside the Earth’s atmosphere.
Our heroes go prospecting to save mankind in a spaceship bought secondhand from Disney World.
As the grizzened old pilot says: “I’m still having trouble coming to terms with the fact that the ship that carries the most important expedition ever is controlled from a seat in Mickey Mouse’s left ear”.
Love that book!
S. Norman
I decree that ALL ships from the original Wing Commander game are off-limits for this thread… they ALL sucked. All the Kilrathi ships, anyway. I mean, you could blow up a Carrier with a Light Fighter! Single-handed!
Anyway, my pick…
I would say the Nebulon-B Escort Frigate from Star Wars. Sure, it’s a decent ship on paper, but just LOOK at that design… too sharp of a turn with damaged inertial dampers would cause the thing to snap like a toothpick!
Rule of thumb, people… you don’t design your ships so that they can be blown in half by a single strafing run.
I don’t know WHY everyone insists on using them… now, the Loronar Strike Cruiser… THAT’S a good ship.
You loved Event Horizon? Gee, you’ve got issues.(If I used smilies, the eye rolling one would go here.)
How 'bout the Jupiter II? The flashing lights were cool, and sometimes they’d distract you from the string. [Original T.V. “Lost In Space”, not the movie]
Christ, am I gonna get it for this…
The USS Enterprise, and all Federation capital ships seen so far. If the Klingons or the Borg had enough sense to target those narrow bits that connect the saucer section to the back section, or the back section to the nacelles, then they could break the ship into four pieces faster than Geordi could say “Hull breach, decks 5 through 7, Captain.”
As SPOOFE pointed out, the Nebulon-B from Star Wars has the same problem. Big front and back sections, connected with a long, thin tube. What engineering genius designed that one? Most Star Wars ships are OK, however.
In terms of sheer uglyness, the Rebel command ship from Return of the Jedi takes the cake. You know the one: the big elongated ship covered with little lumps. It looks like they chrome-plated a turd.
How about the Millenium Falcon? Yeah, it was fast, but it seemed like Han Solo spent half his time grounded for repairs! What a lemon THAT thing was!
I was also none too impressed with John Travolta’s star fighters in “Battlefield Earth”. These advanced pieces of 30th Century alien technology were decimated in a dogfight by 21st century USAF jets that hadn’t been flown in a thousand years and were piloted by cavemen! Even more pathetic than than the aliens perpformance against the good 'ol US of A in “Independence Day”!
Also, that UFO that crashlanded at Roswell was of questionable air worthiness too.
Flesh Gordon?
I’m gunna’ regret asking, but what did it look like?
Also, the Zentradi starships from Robotech, while effective, look like they were designed by somebody peering into a toilet bowl.
How about the crappy looking pile of junk in “ALIEN”. This thing travels at faster than light-and it looks like a tramp steamer (on the inside) from 1920! Water is constantly leaking around, the crew looks like a bunch of derelicts from a waterfront bar. And, when the monster gets loose inside the thing, noby can figure out where it is!
The ONLY redeeming thing was Sigourney Weaver’s prediliction for stripping down to her underwear (preparatory to entering the suspended animation capsule(drool!)).
I thought starships should look like the interior of a late model Cadillac –nice leather seats, high-tech instrument panels, etc. What were these guys (the designers of the ALIEN sets) thinking?