This better be good. I got into the series because my best friend gave me the first book to read, she said it was really good, and she was right. Then I read the other ones (all of them, every page!). I’m not saying that all of them were bad, and I’m definitely not one of those people with a photographic memory for every novel I read, but some of them really, really sucked. They were boring, nothing happened, nothing was resolved and if you’ve gotta take 800 pages to explain 2 weeks of time…you need a better editor. I think his wife is his editor and she must not be very good at saying, “Robert, honey? Um…these 150 pages are really very boring. Couldn’t you do something crazy like, um, maybe, have something happen every now and then?”
You may be wondering why I’ve stuck through this entire series if I’m so annoyed with some of the books. There are a couple of reasons. One reason is that when he writes well, he writes really, really well and I can enjoy the story. The biggest reason I haven’t given up though, is that once I start something (especially a series of books) I absolutely have to finish it. I’m weird that way. It’s almost a sickness with me.
Here are some of the problems I have with RJ’s writing:
First of all, I don’t need instructions on how to cross my arms, k? How many times does he have to write “she crossed her arms under her breasts”?! I know how it’s done. I know where my arms happen to land when I cross them. If you have to mention breasts every other paragraph, at least write something sexy!
OH! And why do I need to know what everyone is wearing down to the most minute stitch? I just don’t care. If he spent more time developing the 17,000 characters he’s introduced throughout this series, I would be more impressed.
The cover art sucks ass. I know that that’s not the best way to critique a novel, but, DAMN! Who is that supposed to be on the front cover of “Knife of Dreams”? At first I thought it was supposed to be Matt, but then after reading the prologue and the first 2 chapters, I think it’s supposed to be Perrin! WTF? Perrin has dark hair and golden eyes, not blonde hair and scary red/black eyes!
And the sniffing! All of the women sniffing all the time to express their displeasure! What the hell is that about? Some women express their anger differently. I don’t recall ever “sniffing” to do it. I usually become very calm and scary or I break something.
Listen, RJ, if you’re reading this, and I’m sure you have nothing better to do than search the web for whiny rants about your latest book from 1 disgruntled fan…please, pretty please, make something happen in this book. Don’t disappoint me again, man, please? I spend all day transcribing medical reports for doctors (and many of them sound like they’re speaking in tongues) and I look forward to the 15 minutes or half an hour that I have every day to read a book to take me away from everything else. So, stop pissing me off, k?