There has been a lot of talk about how political disagreements can tear a marriage apart - disagreements over race, gender, etc. - usually with the view that those are issues of fundamental human rights or truth/untruth and that an opposing viewpoint represents a moral deficiency in one’s spouse.
I’d be curious to ask about something a lot more obscure and odder - geopolitical disagreements. Say you are Ukrainian and happily married to a Russian, except that he/she is adamant that Crimea and all sorts of Ukrainian territory belong to Russia. Or maybe you’re British but your Irish spouse insists that Northern Ireland be absorbed into Ireland proper. (Or maybe have a Scottish spouse who preaches Scottish secession.) Or maybe an Israeli-Palestinian marriage, but you disagree about…you know what.
How much effect do you think it would have on you personally?
Hopefully courting or shacking up for a while first would have filtered that out.
Benign “agree to disagree” truces can cover for a lot of sins. Declare the topic to be taboo, and don’t break the cease-fire. Don’t wave the bloody shirt, don’t be sly, just let it alone.
If a sweetums couldn’t abide by that simple idea, then they aren’t right in any case, whether it be about Israel/Palestine, or sandwiches being folded or cut.
I agree. Me and my sweetums may disagree violently over the rights of the indigenous Sámi people but it’s not an issue that thrusts itself into our daily routine. If we’re compatible otherwise, we can just mutually agree to avoid the topic.
And if we can’t do that and one or both of us keeps insisting on re-opening the argument, then our relationship has a problem that’s a lot closer than Finland.
Yep, I really am tired of hearing my wife harp on about the poor downtrodden Chinese picked on because Western nations are jealous of China’s rise whilst giving not one whit about the failure to live up to WTO obligations, open their markets, ad nauseum. I at least pretend to know a thing or two about China and the US and economics, and it just pushes a hot button.
We are working on a divorce but Covid has complicated that immensely.
My family’s Jewish, and my husband’s family is Iranian. On the rare occasions when the families meet, they get along, as long as nobody mentions Israel. The two of us have no problems with all of that.