There’s also the theory that it evolved greater size to impress others, women or men or both. Which means it could be a leftover from a cultural predilection in some ancient tribe that left more descendants for some other reason.
We have had threads galore on this
It matters
Well…found this old thread and had to comment!
In the early 80’s I was friends with a pet shop owner who specialized in tropical exotics. He traveled alot to find suppliers and came back from one trip with a teenage female chimpanzee.
She was offered for sale and even though she was very humanized and friendly, she never sold so he kept her as a personal pet and mascot for his shop.
So…now u got the “how”, now the “what happened”
Mid-morning after the big party, staggering to the can hung over, I passed my friends open bedroom door and saw Becky (the chimp) trying to get a rise outta “Bill”, the shop owner. Still dead drunk and passed out, she had no luck.
Not believing my still dull drunk eyes, i went on to the bathroom.
Back on the couch trying to sleep, I felt a rough hand caressing my thigh. Through bleary eyes I saw Becky standing next to the couch. I thought if I ignored her she would go away. I was wrong.
She noticed I was awake and swiftly mounted me, I tried to push her off but she wrapped her arms around my chest and held on. It’s VERY true about chimps being stronger than people, it was like furry steel cables squeezing the breath outta me! She paid no attention to me beating on her back and used those hand like feet to fondle my member hard and insert it in her and she began to hump. Freaking out now, I kicked till we rolled off the couch, landing on her. I didn’t think she could do anything with my weight on her but I was wrong again! Grasping my hips with weird feet, she easily lifted me till she could resume humping from below. At this point I just gave up. She got what she wanted and I was helpless to stop it. It makes me wonder how the hell did those people “humanize” the chimp? And did my ex-friend willingly indulge? I really sympathize with rape victims now.
:eek: I take back every complaint about zombie reanimations, ever. This makes it all of them worth it.
Also, if this is true, then Dead Armadillo, you are a rape victim. I’m sorry about what happened.
Mods, spring into retroactivity!
Can you warn a zombie?
[Moderating]
I’m not going to moderate a post made seven year ago and during a previous administration, but I will point out that post would not be acceptable under present policy.
Colibri
General Questions Moderator
PS. Leo Bloom, you’ve asked about this sort of thing previously. There’s no need to keep asking such questions. You should ignore posts made that long ago.
Sorry, Colibri. I was making a joke. I thought of the word “retroactivity” and amused my easily amused self. And I forgot you knew the tenor of the joke.
So, chimps will mate with dead members of the order Cingulata, but still no examples of mating with humans!
I’ve read that before on 4chan, with minor details changed. Reasonably sure it’s fantasy.
zombie or no
i never thought i would see it but i’ll be a monkey’s uncle.
This post has been aped by the apist!
Huh. I can’t see any difference from a regular post.
This post has been posted by the poster!
If they won’t, the plan to market “monkubines” at the zoo will fall through.
Dear Penthouse:
Dead armadillo, do you know if Becky was a bonobo or a regular chimpanzee?
While chimpanzees are indeed quite strong, they are muscular as well, so perhaps “Furry steel cables” is the wrong metaphor. That might be better applied to the tails of certain species of monkey- which are not as strong.
There are pictures of hairless chimpanzees living at zoos which show their musculature. https://secure.flickr.com/photos/richu/3196188065/ Those who have gotten very close to chimps might notice this as well.
I don´t know about bonobos, but chimpanzees and orangutans do show sexual interest in humans of the opposite sex when reared in captivity, particularly if they didn´t have much contact with others of their own species…
I remember reading about a female Indonesian cook who worked for or with Birute Galdikas, who is the leading orangutan expert in the world (sort of what Jane Goodall is to chimpanzees); I don´t remember if the orang was wild or had been raised by humans, but apparently it raped the cook in front of Galdikas’ eyes and even though she tried to stop it, the cook eventually told her that it was ok (!!) and allowed the orang to go through with it. Which I guess was her only choice since those guys are monstrously strong.
After it all happened, the cook’s husband told Galdikas that he wasn´t angry about it because since the orang wasn´t human, it didn´t count as cheating…
Apparently in Borneo and Sumatra where orangs live it is popular knowledge that male orangs, even wild ones, will attempt to rape females. Then there’s another case of a female orang who invited a male keeper (don´t remember his name but I think he’s kinda famous in primatology circles) to have sex with her by conducing him to a large nest she had prepared seemingly for that only purpose, and doing whatever female orangs do to invite males to mate (as a side note, most orangutan sex is rape, actually). The keeper said no using sign language which the orang was being taught, and apparently the ape was so offended at being rejected that she refused to continue her training or have anything to do with the guy for a long time.
As for chimpanzees, there’s Oliver, the one they formerly thought to be a chimp-human hybrid- he ended up being just a normal chimp with some genetic disorder I think, but he too was sexually interested on his female keepers.
So all in all I guess its not remote that a bonobo, if given the chance, would try to have sex with a human- maybe of either sex considering their usual behavior…
Scrolling down the Wiki page for bonobos, I happened upon Ms. Vanessa Woods. I was not previously familiar with her.
I’m not too interested in the likelihood that bonobos would mate with me. However, I would be all too pleased if Vanessa Woods would agree to mate with me.
Here’s her own Wiki page. <swoon>
I have always wondered why many of the leading primatologists in the world are women…