As you can see in the picture in the lower right hand corner, Godzilla already HAS a lawyer!
RUN! IT’S PERRY MASON!!!
[slight hijack]About that whole “acts of God” thing…if my insurance company is aethiest, could they simply say, “God doesn’t exist, so it’s not an act of God, so we don’t have to pay? Hahahaha!”[/slight hijack]
FWIW, there’s a rather similar precedent to a hypothetical Tokyo v. Godzilla, in The City of New York v. Mr. Sta-Puf[TM]; Sta-Puf Foods Inc.; Ghost Busters Inc. (including but not limited to Dr. Ray Stantz, Dr. Peter Venkmann, Dr. Egon Spengler, and Mr. Winston Zeddmore as individual parties); Mr. Louis Tulley; Central Park West Property Management Inc.; Columbia University; Department of Parapsychology, Columbia University; et al.
The Sta-Puf case is a particularly sticky (pardon the pun) class-action lawsuit action initiated in 1984 which has yet to achieve full resolution. I’m sure you all remember the salient aspects of the case, so I’ll only mention a couple of the emergent complications to have arisen since the initial file date.
First, the City of New York has endeavored to identify all the manufacturers of the components used by Ghost Busters Inc. in their “Ghost Trapping Boxes”[TM] to attach as defendants, but relatively few of the components have a legally established manufacturing parentage. The three Ph.D holders and co-founders of Ghost Busters Inc. have steadfastly maintained that they invented the boxes; the relevant, then-patent-pending [Pat. 928311384] “ghost acquisition” technologies involved; and, further, that many of the components were “just stuff I had kicking around” [Dr. Venkmann] and that further, of the components they did buy, they proceded to tinker freely with, to the extent that said components were no longer legally definable as “as purchased”. As of this late date (2003), no fewer than eighteen different patent attorneys and patent attorney firms have been involved (both sides inclusive), many of which have already offered affidavits as expert witnesses on the question of component manufacturer liability.
Another curious detail is the floating rider attached in the summer of 1985, specifying that a portion of damages awarded be set aside for the City of New York Department of Pest Control, as reflecting the differential costs for coping with the sharp spike in the rodent population that was noticed within a month of the day of Mr. Sta-Puf’s brief rampage. According to one municipally-funded study, the populations of brown rats and black rats in Manhattan increased by an estimated 50-60% within three months of the supernatural event, and that increase persisted steadily over the next year, or $1.85 million over that time period.
But, of course, since the Godzilla suit would be filed in Japan, that changes everything.
IANAL, but let’s pretend that I am one for the insurance company.
I don’t know about everyone else’s insurance, but there’s a clause in mine says that damage due to radioactivity will not be covered (seriously) and Godzilla (IIRC) was mutated into his present form due to radioactivity. Therefore could it be argued that the insurance company does not owe anyone anything, due to all damage being indirectly caused by radioactivity?
Scrivener: Brilliant analysis, but shouldn’t the plaintiffs have been going after the United States government, considering Walter Peck, as an employee of the Environmental Protection Agency, played such a large role in the debacle? I’d consider most of the listed defendants as frivolous, frankly.
Given that Godzilla is so ludicrous as to be physically impossible without a major reworking of classical physics or the aid of the Almighty, I vote YES, Act of God.
:smack:
Yeah, after looking up the flick in IMDB.com, I meant to add the EPA, but just forgot. I agree – the EPA has major liability in that one!
It could be Hitler Vs. Godzilla, but Japan was on his side. Imagine the consequences if Hitler was able to convince Godzilla he was of Aryan stock, and therefor should do his part in the war.
I don’t know if there would be any need for insurance money.
Wouldn’t Harvey Weinstein organize a huge benefit concert?
Lets see
the Stones could do Beast of Burden
Talking Heads Burning Down the House
And of course the concert would end with a reunion of Blue Osyter Cult to perform their song Godzilla.
Godzilla is, arguably, an animal.
What do insurance policies do about losses/deaths caused by animals?
They pay them.
I was recently reading the transcripts of the case of King Kong vs. Godzilla and saw that King Kong won that case. But I could have sworn that I’d heard Godzilla was the victor.
You must have been reading the transcripts of the American case. In the Japanese courts 'Zilla won, hands down.
In the event that the world were to suddenly become the playground for large, radioactive critters of generally nasty disposition, the various insurance companies provide optional coverage for a fee, similar to the way you can buy optional flood insurance.
Most people don’t purchase flood insurance for their homes because they assume it is a very unlikely event, and end up getting royally screwed when the flood comes.
People that live in monster-infested territories are therefore well advised to purchase giant monster insurance. Lord knows it has come in handy on numerous occasions over at the ol’ Temple of Godzilla. Why just last week, in fact, the Big G was hosting a little shindig with his pals Rodan and Angilas. Rodan cracked a joke, and Gojira-san ended up snorting a train engine out his nose. Darn thing landed right on the garage roof and reduced the whole thing to splinters. Fortunately, the place is insured for that sort of thing.
The premiums are really starting to kill me, though…
Barry
That’s all well and good, godzillatemple, but caveat emptor, as they used to say in ancient Roman insurance firms when giant radioactive fire-breathing monsters threatened the Empire. The truly wise policyholder will understand that when Gojira causes a tsunami with the lash of his mighty tail, the insurance company will do its damnedest to characterize the devastation as “flood damage,” and thus not covered under the monster insurance policy. The best thing to do is to have your lawyer scrutinize the policy BEFORE you sign it, then give you a document stating that in his professional judgment, the policy protects you from losses ranging from Mothra looking askance in the general direction of your house to Godzilla and his son having a hackysack competition on your front lawn.
What if Godzilla’s lawyers could make a case that the radioactivity-induced mutations he underwent caused him to suffer personality changes and emotional trauma? A diminished capacity defense could get him off the hook provided he was willing to undergo therapy.
“Hello, my name is Godzilla, and I eat cities.”
“Hello, my name is Gihdra, and I lash out due to the indecision I suffer from having three heads.”
“Hello, my name is Rodan, and have trouble with long term relationships.”