Godzilla vs. Chuck E. Cheese

Who wins?

I would say, believe it or not, Chuck E. Cheese.
Yes, Godzilla does the whole “breathes fire” bit, but that is way over-rated.
I also think that in a ring, his size could work against him.

Chuck E Cheese, much like the pied piper, could call his minions of children in to help.

Plus, there is also the flaming hot pizza trick. Chuck would walk in the arena with a hot mushroom pie (Godzilla is a vegetarian, you know) and the second Godzilla out it in his mouth, BLAMMO, the roof of his mouth is burnt.

Hmm… the giant Pillsbury Dough Boy from Ghostbusters would kick BOTH their asses!

oh puh-lease.

the pillsbury doughboy would not work. hello? He’s basically a pizza! All chuck would have to do is fling cheese on him and godzilla breathes on him. Voila! lunch for 48780!

As for the staypuff marshmellow guy, have you not seen what fire does to a marshmellow?

How could a hot pizza burn the roof of Godzilla’s mouth? He BREATHS FIRE. Mr. Cheese is hopelessly outmatched here.


It wasn’t the Pillsbury Dough Boy. It was the giant Staypuff Marshmallo Man. Come to think of it though, that would be a tight matchup: A giant Dough Boy against a giant Mr. Staypuff. Who would win?

Through in a giant Michelin man and you have yourself a three way battle royale.

Godzilla crushes armies and destroys Tokyo. Chuck entertains children and makes pizza. I’m all for the underdog, but I think our boy is way out of his weight class here. Could we match him up against Goofy as a preliminary on the Godzilla-King Kong title bout card?

Jebus! Or throw. Whatever.

In the Pillsbery Dough Boy vs. Stay-Puft Marshmello Man, the winner would be Mr. Stay-Puft. Dough Boy would throw a punch – and his fist would get stuck in the Marshmello guy. DP would place his other hand on Stay-Puft, to brace himself and pull out the first hand. But now, both hands are stuck! Marshy pushes him over.

then maybe just maybe that should be a clue about how infernally hot the pizza is?

Also, Chuck is small and nimble. Godzilla is so big he wouldn’t see Chuck scurrying about, flinging Hot Pizzas.

so, I can put you down as a vote for Chuck?


Chuck E. might be able to bring Godzilla’s son under his spell, and win using the little guy as a hostage.

I don’t see Chuck E. winning in any noble way, though.

Listen, 'boon. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, can beat the Big G.

No, not even Superman. Not even the entire Justice League. Not the Justice League, all the Transformers (Decepticons AND Autobots) and G.I. Joe combined could beat Godzilla.

Why? 'Cuz he’s the baddest mofo to ever walk the face of the planet. Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock cry like little girls when they see Godzilla, that’s how bad he is. Godzilla would look at Chuck E. and say “Bring it on, rat-boy”. If he could talk, that is.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall, baby.

bring it ON!

Buck, I’d just like to point out that Godzilla HAS lost at least one fight.


Actually, he didn’t actually lose that fight. At the end of the movie, both King Kong and Godzilla fell into the ocean. After a few seconds, Kong surfaced and swam away. Godzilla, however, is an amphibeous critter who can breath underwater. Just because they didn’t show him rising to the surface doesn’t mean he “lost” the fight. In fact, if they had kept the cameras rolling just a few seconds longer, you would have seen the big monkey suddenly dragged back under water, never to be seen again.

Having said that, however, Godzilla actually has lost one rather embarrasing fight. In “Godzilla vs. Mothra” (a.k.a. “Godzilla vs. The Thing”) the movie ends with Godzilla being cocooned by the two Mothra larva and falling over a cliff into the water. He didn’t die, but that certainly counts as a a “loss.”

Noe of that, of course, has anything whatseover to do with whether Godzilla be beaten by a mouse. With regard to that scenario, I have but one word:




yes, but a nefarious rat.

May I point out a little story called David and Goliath?

I still think the outcome would be the same as it was when Godzilla took on Bambi…

Didn’t Godzilla croak in his very first movie? I remember a big pearl-like pill in a glass cylinder that release a gas underwater that ate the flesh from his bones. Just a skeleton left.

He apparently got better for his next film.