Another bloggerhas taken her on.
Mommy wars, although they’ve apparently declared a truce.
I noticed that too. I went back through about a year of posts and she never once mentions her son’s rage issues. It must truly consume her life.
I glanced at it. Can anyone say Drama Queen?
and it goes on from there. It puts her post about her son in a new light.
He seems to have figured that one out already.
Or, best case scenario, that the strongest person has to be obeyed. As opposed to, apparently, no one.
That one is quite true. His mother probably wouldn’t be able to bring it off, for various reasons.
Again, that is not a lesson that he seems to have learned anyway. I don’t think his boss will beat him if he threatens to kill him as he apparently does with his mother, but his boss is likely to fire him and call the cops. I think the idea of any plan to try to domesticate this very unpleasant-sounding kid is to teach him that going into a rage is not an acceptable action. Ever.
“Mommy is very sad that you threatened to kill me. But if you make supper and clean your room, that will make up for it.”
I hope you will excuse me if I mention that this sounds a little naive.
Isn’t that what he is doing anyway? And not after he is beaten - when he has to take back his DVDs.
I have no idea if beating this kid will help. I have no idea if anything will help. But standard parenting advice doesn’t sound like it has been working so far, to say the least. I doubt if more of the same is going to help.
Regards,
Shodan
I do have an idea, because that behaviour is exactly the kind of behaviour many of the kids I worked with exhibited. Naive, then, is not the term. My suggestion is based on personal experience, which was based on research of other people into these behaviours.
I also have the unpleasant experience of other, more forceful attempts at changing behaviour. It is certainly naive to think that that would work.
He’s supposed to be an intelligent kid. If it’s consistent enough, he’ll eventually figure out what behaviours make his own life more pleasant.
As to this:
Well there’s a thought. Maybe they should just try that then? :rolleyes:
Shodan, I think there’s a world of difference between some toddler throwing a temper tantrum and a kid with some serious behavioral disorders. You can’t beat autism out of someone.
This is not so much a one size fits all problem. Drill instructors and coaches will very often use physical and physcological intimidation to “whip” some self control and discipline into their charges. They force them to do something right. Once it is done right the leader will show approval and this reinforces good behavior. I believe that respect is the key, gaining respect might might have to be confrontive. You really don’t want to pussy foot around bad behavior. They know they are being bad and will not resent being forced to do things right even if they don’t d it willingly at first. I have run a shop for about 35 years of my life and have taken kids off the street routinely. Most of them make it and do fine but I don’t play with them or tolerate any bad behavior. I do reward good behavior with compliments and sometimes even a hug around the neck. Barring mental illness most people really want to fit in and be successful at what they do.
The problem is that in this case, there is (possibly some sort of) mental illness, and the child does not particularly want to fit in.
In his case, his current behaviour apparently has a positive outcome to him: possibly some form of attention, and also a certain status within his family. There are plenty of children who have no problem with a stern approach or the attention of being beaten. Negative behaviour needs to garner no attention so there is no possibility of a positive effect of his behaviour. It will take time, but he can learn that other behaviour makes his own life more fun.
I worked with one boy who would go into a rage if you spoke to him directly, literally. He would threaten, try to hurt you and mostly try to hurt himself. He once attempted suicide by throwing himself off a balcony, just for being spoken to. He was nine at the time. We got there, eventually. It took many months, consistency and constant reinforcement, but eventually he understood that his life was more fun when his behaviour was different. Now he is pretty much a normal kid, or as normal as these kids ever get.
Yes, there probably is some sort of mental illness involved, but it’s hard diagnosing adult bloggers.
Ghehe, yeah, possibly uuuuhm… attention-seeking by proxy? 
OTOH I wasn’t terribly convinced by reading the excerpts from her blog. Just sounded like jokes from a frustrated-but-normal parent to me. Perhaps not entirely appropriate to post in the internet, but not completely undermining the rest of her story. I do think, however, that opening with “I am Adam Lanza’s mother” was entirely inappropriate and disrespectful. Because she isn’t.
I don’t know. I would wonder if someone had that many issues, wouldn’t it show up a little more on her blog?
When I read a few of her posts, it just doesn’t sound right. Here’s another example.
and there simply has to be more to the story. The American judicial system in not at the beck and call of lazy parents. There is more to that story. A lot more.
Just like the post about her being terminated for sexual harassment. Wow. What a life of perfect bliss tossed into a fire and brimstone hell. A dream job which one is excelling at, only to be brought down by a despicable acts of a sadistic brute whose flesh-crawling creepiness must have been apparently obvious only to the author and not others as the psychopath fiend possessed the capacity to toggle charm at will, blinding normal mortal to his faults. Why else was it that this rising star was mercilessly cut down before her time and not him?
I’ll admit that I’m giving myself free reign to read all sorts of things into that paragraph, but I’m not the on posting my child’s picture in national publications claiming my son in in the same class as one of the worst mass murderers in this country’s history.
If congress does act on gun control, can it also pass legislation forbidding public platforms to people who possess less self introspection than crayfish and are willing to create from whole cloth breathtaking tales of tragic issues concerning the very souls one has assumed responsibility for raising. That before they name and shame their own flesh and blood in an attention seeking act of a pathetic, self-centered prima donna, that both there must be at the minimum of single iota of truth and that they are forced to quietly sit in the corner for three minutes contemplating the potential damage this could have on an adolescent.
Anyone familiar with Carl Panzram? He was sent to reform school in Minnesota at the turn of the last century, beaten into a raging animal, and drifted between killing sprees and periods of incarceration where he’d be beaten and tortured.
The mother has been getting a lot of flack. Here’s one of the better ones Thanks, Mom, for Not Telling the World I Pulled a Knife on You:
It’s one thing to be a attention whore, it’s another to hold up one’s child for the world to stare at.
I have no idea how sick the child is, if indeed he is. But we can pretty well tell that the mother isn’t thinking right.
I completely agree with not beating kids. I have a cousin who just adopted a kid with some issues and who acts out. Both the mother and father seem completely content with using physical force to discipline him.
It’s bullshit and its only going to make things worse. Most of what’s been posted here I agree with so I won’t repeat others.
Ill just add this analogy from wrestling. When I faced an opponent who was better than me, and got beat, I usually got better in the process. I learned moves from him. I could see the same being true for a kid who was beaten regularly. They’ll actually be more confident in their violent outbursts knowing how to fight and not being as afraid to take a hit.