There’s something I have learned lately. Some people, despite growing up in middle-class or above families, have never stayed in a nice hotel. I’m not sure why, I think it would be rude to ask. Many of those people continue to stay in hostels and motels in their adult lives.
I grew up in a family that was very picky about hotels. They never took me anywhere really cool, they only traveled to see family, which were really boring locations. But the hotels we stayed in ranged from middle-of-the-road to very nice.
I can say it was a nice experience. It is an experience that I would like to share with someone who was never able or never willing to do such. There’s tons of competition in the dating world, obviously. I am wondering will this help me gain an edge. Is this something that women care about?
seems to me if she is willing to go to a hotel with you you have already wooed her. If she wasn’t ready for it I think she would be quite upset at the presumtion.
Yeah, really. How would you even broach the subject before the opportunity presents itself?
“Just so you know, if you and I were to date, I would totally be willing to spring for a room at a nice hotel occasionally. Because you seem like the kind of girl who’s never stayed in anything better than a Red Roof Inn.”
I would say a hotel wouldn’t matter much. If she’s used to nicer hotels, then it’s just another hotel. If she’s not, then it’s still just a hotel. I mean, if you want to impress a gal, either take her to an actual resort <you don’t need to actually ski to enjoy most ski resorts, for example, and in the summer they’re even more awesome> or…and this is more impressive…take her to your clean, comfortable, well-appointed house. Emphasis on the ‘clean’ part. Not many people are impressed by hotels. Unless, of course, you are renting the entire top floor or something, on a yearly lease.
I’m going with the crowd here. A trip to a classy hotel might be a nice thing to do for somebody that you’ve already got an established relationship with. But as a suggestion for a date? No, way too forward.
No I wouldn’t suggest it but why do women online, when asked by their dates where they want to go and they answer “anywhere,” they really mean “anywhere.”
A nice clean well cared for living space is much better, but depending on the woman a fancy hotel may be a winner.
Lets say for example this is part of a little weekend getaway for someone you may have only seen a few times. If it is implied that this is typical for you, you are projecting the image that you have a more comfortable lifestyle. This will score you points with a fairly large percentage of the dating pool.
I have done things like this several times, usually with favorable results. My personal key is not to assume its going to inspire her clothes to fall off. People want to be desired, not needed.
If shes willing to spend the night with you, she has already decided you are worth a try, just shower her with affection and see where it goes. Please note, affection does not require clothing removal.
Do not act pissy or disappointed if she does not have sex with you, If you are disappointed that the money you spent didn’t get you laid, you want a hooker, not a real or potential g/f.
Unless that nice hotel is part of a vacation to Paris, I think the “hotel date” is something reserved for hookers, cheating on your wife or prom night.
A lot of people in the “middle class” don’t make much money. So even if they do take an expensive vacation to a place like New York City, London or Paris, they aren’t going to stay at The Waldorf Astoria. Plus a lot of people apparently simply don’t travel that much.
I can’t see a hotel being a hot date venue, excepting the cheesy situations listed above.
The last time I was in the dating world, I dated one of those women who’s been dating, a lot, for way too long. One of the stories she told me was about a prior date who asked to meet her at [a sorta-classy highway hotel in the middle-crossroads of our town]. She rolled her eyes and said, “Oh, yeah, let’s have a first date at a crappy restaurant that JUST HAPPENS to be in a hotel. Nice try, buddy.”
I didn’t see her a second time but the comment and all the implications stuck in my mind.
OTOH, I was in a nice-ish business hotel with a girl about 20 (long story, she needed to change for an entertainment gig) and she was flat-out AWED at the luxuriousness of the place. Nothing special, just nice slightly upscale business 'tel… and she acted like she didn’t think such places were real. I found it so sad.
Or they do make a fair amount of money, but would rather spend it on something other than the hotel. I’ve stayed in nice hotels on occasion, when somebody else was paying, and while it was mildly enjoyable it’s not something I’d ever consider worth the money if I had a choice. I’m not going to spend a lot of time in a hotel room while I’m awake, after all, and as long as it’s secure and not too noisy, I don’t really care how fancy it is.
Quite apart from the weirdness of taking someone to a hotel on a date, I think if a guy took me to a super-fancy one, I’d probably take it as a signal that we had fundamentally different travel styles and ideas about how to handle money. Neither of these is an absolute deal-breaker, but it would make me less likely to be interested in a long-term relationship with the person, not more.
I always stay in a “nice” hotel. It doesn’t need to be particularly expensive though. I would prefer if they are take Starwood points though.
My town of Hoboken, NJ has a W Hotel (a member of the Starwood family of hotels). I think it’s exactly the sort of hotel that would fit what the OP is describing. It’s got a steakhouse, a lounge bar and a nightclub with views of Manhattan. It’s in close proximity to all the other Hoboken bars. It’s exactly the sort of place where fist-pumping guidos rent a room and try to convince some girl to stay there instead of driving drunk back to, I don’t know…Teaneck NJ or some fucking place.
Without an established relationship, offering to take someone to a hotel is the equivalent of “I only want you for sex” and would be an instant insult to me, a heterosexual woman. I doubt the opinion of most lesbian women would be dramatically different but since you seem unsure, I hesitate to make a blanket statement.
The W=A is often quite competitively priced for a Manhattan hotel. You can spend the same amount for meh, a little less for real shitholes, or a lot more for no good reason at all.
I’ve traveled a lot, and to great locations. I’ve never stayed in a ‘nice’ hotel and I’d consider it a waste of money. I’d much rather stay at a Motel 6 in a great city with lots to do than a fancy hotel in a boring place. I spent months traveling around Europe, and it was much better to spend more time in fabulous places like Florence, Prague, and Zurich in hostels, cheap motels, and on the floors of train stations. If I’d spent my money on nice hotel, I couldn’t have stayed as long or gone to as many places.
