I’m female, 27, Christian (of the nondenominational, mellow variety). Taken, so I’m only answering for informational purposes.
I also love reading. I have two cats myself. I have no problem with any sort of mental illness, as long as it’s well under control.
The only thing is the not working. If you can’t function well enough to handle the stress of working even the least stressful job, you wouldn’t be able to handle the stress of the ups and downs of a relationship and the raising of the children that may eventually ensue. So, I might date you, but I wouldn’t see any future in it.
(Answer for informational purposes only as I’m quite happily taken by another Doper).
I’m female, 5’8 or so and 30 (as of last weekend :smack: )
One date for sure. More than one date would depend on who you are in person (as opposed to on paper - so to speak).
Assuming personal compatibility, I’d have a few concerns about the mental-health thing. Mostly because (as a few other posters have indicated) if you can’t handle the stress of working, how can you handle the stress of a long-term relationship. Particularly if there are children (which I definitely would like at some point in the future).
The not working doesn’t bother me (provided that you’re legitimately disabled as opposed to being a leech on the system - which I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt on).
On the other hand, if there’s something about your condition that prohibits working outside the home but would not prohibit a long term relationship with kids I can definitely see the benefit to having a stay-at-home parent bringing in a form of income.
I have more time now, and I’d like to answer this in more depth, if I may.
I’m male. 25. Brown hair, not long, but spiky rather, blue eyes. I’m 6 foot 4, and weigh around 210.
I like the height…I’m only 5’5". I love guys who tower over me. And I do adore blue eyes. You’re probably a little bit young for me, as I’m 29, but that’s not an end-all be-all judge.
I enjoy hiking, movies, and anything that has to do with reading. If it’s a book, I’ll read it. I love reading and do it most of my days, all day. Mostly horror, mystery, suspense and thriller.
This is a big hit! I like hiking, movies, and reading. One of my only problems with my SO is he doesn’t read anywhere near as much as I do. But I do hate mystery.
**I’m a cat person, although I like dogs too and get along well with them just fine. But yeah, my preference would sway more towards cats. I have two cats, and they have been my company for the past year. **
You know how I feel toward cats. Hairballs!
I don’t smoke.
Me neither.
I believe in God, and consider myself Christian, however I’m not one of those hardcore fundementalists who is always in your face about it. I’m not religious at all in my daily life. I don’t go to chruch or pray or read the bible. I just believe.
I don’t know, I think this can be dealt with. If you just believe, then I can’t see how this would bother me. But you want kids…
**I don’t drink. That’s not saying I wouldn’t. I would drink socially and when partying or having any special times. But I don’t like to drink alone. If I was out with friends or somewhere having a celebration or just a Saturday night out, I would. **
Same here, as in I’m only a social drinker.
**
I don’t work. This isn’t to say I don’t have income. I’m on disability for Bi Polar Disorder, and yes, I know everyone knows someone who has it and can work just fine, but I can’t. I’ve tried and the stressful related enviorment that work brings on is too much. I’m able, with my income, to support myself just fine and even more than that. I could probably support up to 3 or 4 people, actually if I had to.**
This is why I cam back to answer. I am probably the only one who wouldn’t mind this. In the long run, I wouldn’t mind a house husband. A relationship can be stressful, perhaps you could deal with it, I don’t know. But if you were willing to do the housework, etc., I have no real problem with it. I can be the high-powered, high-earning wife.
I have a fear of cockroaches (major) and spiders.
I’m not afraid of spiders unless they are actually in my hair, in which case I scream like a little girl and then calmly remove them. Cockroaches? We won’t have any.
You wanted honesty, I have honesty for you. It may be superficial and make me sound bad, but choosing a mate is really important stuff! For informational purposes only as I just got married last week.
I’m male. 25. Brown hair, not long, but spiky rather, blue eyes. I’m 6 foot 4, and weigh around 210.
Sounds good there. Most guys I dated were 6’ and taller and had blue eyes, as is my husband. I’m 24, 5’2", so age and height are perfect.
I enjoy hiking, movies, and anything that has to do with reading. If it’s a book, I’ll read it. I love reading and do it most of my days, all day. Mostly horror, mystery, suspense and thriller.
Hiking I would let you do alone. People usually hike at the wrong speed for me, mostly becuase of my short little legs. The books are cool, but you need to start reading some science fiction! Again, this all looks good to me.
I’m a cat person, although I like dogs too and get along well with them just fine. But yeah, my preference would sway more towards cats. I have two cats, and they have been my company for the past year.
Exactly how I feel. Bird Man has a dog. I tolerate her.
I don’t smoke.
Good. I could never date a smoker.
I believe in God, and consider myself Christian, however I’m not one of those hardcore fundementalists who is always in your face about it. I’m not religious at all in my daily life. I don’t go to chruch or pray or read the bible. I just believe.
Here you got me. I’m a strong atheist. I want kids someday. I want to teach them about all religions, but teach them as myth. I want them to grow up with the idea that they can choose to believe whatever they want to believe and not be indoctronated into someone else’s belief system. I doubt I could compromise and have a Christian or even non-atheist teach my kids about what to believe. Harsh, yes. But it’s a big sticking point for me.
I don’t drink. That’s not saying I wouldn’t. I would drink socially and when partying or having any special times. But I don’t like to drink alone. If I was out with friends or somewhere having a celebration or just a Saturday night out, I would.
**I don’t drink alone either! That’s what spouses are for! Seriously though, not a big deal. I’m not a lush or anything. At least we won’t have to decide who’s the DD for the night. **
I don’t work. This isn’t to say I don’t have income. I’m on disability for Bi Polar Disorder, and yes, I know everyone knows someone who has it and can work just fine, but I can’t. I’ve tried and the stressful related enviorment that work brings on is too much. I’m able, with my income, to support myself just fine and even more than that. I could probably support up to 3 or 4 people, actually if I had to.
No, sorry. I have to deal with enough mental illness with the family I was born into. I will not knowingly enter into a relationship with someone with such severe problems that they can’t work.
Yes, that’s it. Go on and ruin all my hopes and dreams.
Sorry about the space thing. I didn’t realize it was annoying. :smack:
phouka:
I respectfully disagree. I’ve been in a relationship in the past after I had just gained disability that was with a woman and her 6 year old daughter. I was able to support them and myself just fine. The system is set up so that people with disabilities still can lead normal lives and do things like have families. They even make it so that those on SSI and SSD, if they ever marry, their spouses would get money as well, as would any offspring they have. However, I understand if you wouldn’t want to live like that. Most I know wouldn’t. You, like Red Stilettos, and continuity eror seem to want to rise above it and not just limit yourself to saying you have something that would keep you down, if you were in the same shoes. I can respect that. FaerieBeth:
I know some who do. My next door neighbor is a cat lady with about 300 of them (or so it seems). I’m not one of them, though. So yeah, I have to agree with you there. Cats on kitchen tables and counters makes me shiver at the…just unheathyness. Heh. And I close my bedroom door at night with my cats on the other side of it.
Mishell:
And also monica:
I don’t know, but I’ve never had a problem dealing with school, volunteer work, or relationships. It’s just always been the daily stresses of a job.
The only thing I know is that jobwise, I find I’d stress out really easy and have minor nervous breakdowns, and it doesn’t seem to happen in any other area of life. I’ve had 2 relationships since I was diagnosed and both have lasted for quite awhile and both ended on good terms (one I was the dumpee, the other I was the dumper, and both had understandable reasons and neither was the fact I had BP), so I know that stresses in relationships I can handle. Maybe it’s because I don’t take the stress that comes with it as seriously or it’s not as bad. monica again:
Ha, I guess I kinda gave the impression that all I do is read. But no, I also do volunteer work at the local hospital and college, go online a lot (I don’t have a PC, so when I go online, I have to go to the college), and do a lot of exploring and hiking. I can’t stand just sitting at home alone all the time. Thing is, I don’t like hiking or seeing a movie alone really any better, but at least it’s getting out and doing something. So no, I don’t just sit around. I try to stay active. continuity eror:
Okay, I don’t do that. I don’t enjoy it. I don’t like having nothing to do with my days and having to find things to fill my time with. My life, for the most part, is very boring. It’s dull, listless, and nothing much ever changes. And before you say “So do something about it”, I do. I do the best I can to change it up, which is why I’m at least content with my life right now as it is, other then the fact that I do most things alone, which gets to me sometimes. But overall, it’s a satisfying life. Friends would work though. elfkin477:
Well, I didn’t feel silly to begin with, nor should you. I’ve heard of many more phobias to have that have been way more bizarre than just spiders or wind. I think we are the lucky ones.
Wouldn’t even be an issue as I don’t make myself go to church. Heh.
I’m not on meds. I’ve been tried on them, though, but after so many combinations and change of doses, it was found to be pointless, as everyone agreed (including myself) that I was the exact same way (and felt the same) on meds as off. The medication didn’t induce any changes in me at all. Like I said earlier, a lot of my relatives and friends don’t think I even have BP. Even I’m shady about it, having the doctor only talk to me after meeting me for the first time for 15 minutes before giving me a diagnosis because it “sounds like” Bi Polar. My opinion is that out of all the patients he sees a day, week, month, year, he’s probably used to putting a lot of people into the same basket. shrug
Misnomer:
True. I don’t think anything would substitute for real life either. It’s just a way to pass the time when I’m at home. What kind of books do you enjoy? Mississippienne:
Ha, I think you underestimate me. I don’t care about religion. I don’t even tell anyone about it or ever talk about it. I don’t care what you believe in or don’t believe in. My last girlfriend was an atheist, and we got along fine for 2 years, never even talking about it. The reason for the break up was non religion based. Gundhilde:
You know, you gave me an idea for another topic (although IMHO related). Thank you.
Well, I love cats, but I don’t have to nessasarily own any. My two, right now, are quite up there in years, so I don’t think they’d be around in, say, 3 or 4.
But reading your words made me smile imagining it playing out in my own head. John Carter of Mars, you’re about 4 years too late there, bud.
Yeah. I have been able to kill some of the big ones before, but afterwards, I’m still all, “OMG! Huge bug! I just smashed a huge bug! Hold me!”
You seem like a fairly easy-going guy. I tend to get a bit hyper and cranky when I’m cooped up, so be sure to bring me with you when you go for a hike. I have long legs, so should be able to keep up, heh.
Well, while you’re over there being content with your life and avoiding mini-nervous breakdowns, there are millions of us who do work and deal with mental illness, concurrently, every day. I’d love to have the kind of “boring” life you have. I’m lucky if I get two functional hours a working day, after all the crying, hand resting/soaking/exercising (I have joint problems in addition to mental health issues), mini and/or maxi panic attacks, and paranoia, prompted by the fact that I think I’m a chump for working so hard when others are just coasting on by, and laughing at me while they do. Really, I just can’t stand it when people complain about being bored period. There is always shit to do.
So you admit you might not even actually be bipolar? Two very close family members of mine are bipolar, and believe me, when they are not on meds you know they’re bipolar. Incidentally, neither of them is on SSI (though one of them does not work, being a SAHM). Again, nobody knows someone else’s functionality level, but I’d say that if you only have to worry about “mini-nervous breakdowns” and not “a full-fledged manic episode” that forces you into hospitalization and are able to keep that amazing level of evenness without medication, you’re not disabled. Hence, you must be grifting. And that would definitely be a relationship/friendship killer.
I still say that if you’re sane enough to take care of cats, go for hikes alone, and be in a relationship, you’re sane enough to work. You seem pretty damn high-functioning to me. But no, when I start a thread like this one asking why I have to scrimp and save and panic in order to make less than you do being on SSI (I sure can’t support any mate and kids on what I make), I’m the whiner.
It’s picking on someone to tell them they’re high-functioning? Only on the Internet. Maybe I’m not being very nice because I don’t get free money from the government for a disability I’m not even sure I have. But I forgot, this is MPSIMS, where people faint dead away at any sign of conflict, like that old rich lady on The Simpsons.
Actually it wasn’t very nice to unload your own personal baggage onto Idle Thoughts in a fairly combative and hateful manner. He’s basically an innocent bystander to your personal frustration from what I can see.
You were sounding snarky and nasty.
We have a place for sounding snarky and nasty while unloading personal frustration onto bystanders - it’s called The BBQ Pit.
I’ve read the other replies and I think I’m the only one whose sticking point comes so early.
Ya know, not that there’s anything wrong with that, I just want a guy whose sexual preference is more totally interested in females.
I am not afraid of cockroaches or spiders (I am afraid of small enclosed spaces) so that would actually probably get on my nerves.
And, as many others have said, the whole not working thing would really get on my nerves. I would just resent it.
And having known many people w/ various mental illnesses, I would not knowingly get into a relationship w/ someone w/ such a serious one, especially if they were not actively trying to find a way to manage it.
But I would be your friend. You sound like a nice, interesting guy.
Again, this all looks good to me.
At least we won’t have to decide who’s the DD for the night. **