A person who discriminates against a racial group based on the idea they posses certain intrinsic characteristics is ipso facto a racist. At this point any prior emotional attraction would evaporate rather quickly.
How about,
“Every time I date an [Ethnic] man, I hear my mother in my head judging him on how desirable he is as a husband. Maybe some day I’ll get over that, but for now it just makes me crazy and kills any chemistry that might be there.”
My wife, who is black, is not attracted to black men. However, half her friends are black. Some of those friends are men. It’s not that she thinks black men are inferior, she is simply not attracted to them. She does find Shemar Moore attractive but then so do I so make of that what you will.
How is it discrimination to refuse to date someone?
It sounds more likely that she’s not physically attracted to most black men, and those with which she socialises, rather than all black men everywhere.
Either way, it wouldn’t necessarily involve ‘racism’, but is a little strange.
ETA
Discrimination is to make a distinction or a decision based on prejudice, which seems like a perfectly appropriate use of the word to me.
Call me when you’re done with your mommy issues!
Am I racist for not finding black/American Indian women attractive? Woo! Discrimination!
All this. Everywhere I’ve lived, saying someone is one race or another would tell me pretty much nothing about their style, mannerisms, the movies and music they like, or any of the other things I actually care about in a partner.
I’d also wonder why the hell they’re telling me they won’t date people from their own race, even if it’s true. Sounds like self-loathing, which is absolutely not attractive.
Call me when you’re done with your mommy issues!
According to the OP, they didn’t tell you. Their sibling did and you asked them about it.
You didn’t put in, “I am now dating, and have consistently been in relationships with individuals as described.”
I choose that one.
Hookerboots? I want some hookerboots…
I wanted a cookie too…
I can introduce you to one, but she’s in Houston, TX, so just let me know when you plan to be there- but she won’t be interested if you aren’t black…
Discrimination, to my mind, carries the freight of being unethical. Since any single person has the right to decide whom s/he is and is not willing to date, it is impossible for such a decision, even one based on prejudice, to be unethical.
Obviously that’s supposed to be hookerbots, as Rhymers eschew the cobbler’s craft as a profession. RhymerPosts are full of typos. This is covered in the RhymerFaq.
Rhymers are untrustworthy; their promises should be considered as not worth the electrons who died to transmit them. Also covered in the RhymerFaq.
I agree that everyone has the right to decide who they date, but it does not follow that this separates the decision from morality. I believe that discriminatory decisions based on racism are necessarily unethical, regardless of the agent in question.
Of course it does. Since I have an absolute right to decline to date another person, and no one has an absolute right to demand that I date her or him, it is impossible for my decision not to date another person, or even a class of people, to be immoral or unethical, regardless of how odious my reasons are.
No, finding someone physically unattractive is not racism. If you literally contend that you find an entire race unattractive, it does not necessarily involve racism.
I don’t literally find all members of any race unattractive. But my preference for white women is based purely on my finding them more physically attractive.
The OP didn’t give any reasons for why this particular person dates exclusively other races- it was other posters who provided that reasoning.
I wouldn’t care unless there was some underlying pattern of racism aside from simply preferring to date/sex someone with certain physical/ethnic characteristics.
I mean, some of us prefer dark-haired, some light, some prefer a certain build or weight or height, some get all hard and/or lubricated at the sound of a certain accent, etc…So what? Sort of like, imo, some prefer one gender over another. Certain things may trip our triggers, either because we find them esp. arousing/appealing for some known or unknown reason or because we find certain other characteristics UNappealing due to the same. Or both.
Could be some past traumatic experience or simply a babysitter or other crush we had as we were forming our sexual preferences. (and no, not referring to hetero vs homo sexuality here, but general preferences within those areas)
I wouldn’t find it anymore nec. offensive if I were dating a non-anglo fellow (being anglo myself) and his family commented on his preferences for anglo women than if they simply said, “Ahhh…yes, you are certainly his type!” because I had a nice rack, a certain hair color, or even personality.
Now, if the issue were framed as, “he doesn’t date within his own race due to (insert racist sterotype here)” I would probably raise the issue and perhaps not be comfortable with someone who was a racist, even if their biases worked in my favor. But I’m a believer in getting to know individual people and I wouldn’t automatically judge someone based on their sexual preference for a certain “type”.
If I decide not to date black people because I’m a racist, the decision necessarily has a moral dimension to it, since I’m acting on prejudice. I am free to avoid doing so, but this does not strip the choice of morality.
Similarly, if I decide not to assist a black person having a heart attack, I may be free to do so, but I’ve still made an ethical decision in the process.
You know, the cultural issues don’t even necessarily have to do with gender roles. It could be something relatively minor. Maybe I’m Italian-American and I despise my family’s huge holiday events and therefore want to marry someone whose culture doesn’t include them. Or I love these events, but don’t want to be forever traveling from his family celebration to mine and therefore want to marry someone whose family either doesn’t celebrate the same holidays or doesn’t have large gatherings. In either case, I am much better off staying away from fellow Italian-Americans.