To me it seems like this question is really whether you are capable of having casual, no-strings sex.
My answer’s yes.
It isn’t casual no strings sex. For one thing, you are friends with Sean. How often does that casual sex with friends thing work out? And Pat has attached all sorts of strings.
What’s up with the mushy desserts? I want something I can chew on!
Not interested. No regrets and would not judge but don’t find it appealing in the least.
Absolutely. I actively hope for that situation.
Well, some of us believe that married = monogamous,
so anything other than monogamy is cheating…not that difficult to understand.
You, have a different opinion, as is your right
Cheating by definition includes fraud, lying, dishonesty or some combination of them. If the rules of their relationship include sex with other people sometimes, there is no cheating. It is certainly non-monogamy but it is a huge stretch to call it cheating.
Sadly, I find the name “Pat” so incredibly offensive that I could never sleep with someone married to a Pat. So no.
What’s with all the people turning down the proposition because they’re married? The hypothetical posits that you’re available. I’m all for fighting the hypothetical, but let’s be reasonable, here.
Anyway, I voted to ask for time to think about it. More than that, I need further information from Sean and Pat. First, because this would be my first experience of this nature: have they done this before? I have no interest in being their guinea pig. I’d want to know how the arrangement has worked in the past, how prepared are they to help me transition back to outsider status. Have they had any issues with continuing to be friends with former selectees? Would they be comfortable with telling me who past playdates were, and with me discussing such matters with those men?
I’m a little concerned that our status quo ante friendship can never be the same – just having made the offer, Pat has rung a bell he cannot unring. If I decline, the fact that the offer was made will always exist, and it will always matter to me that it was made. If I accept, the fact that the encounters took place will always be a salient feature of our mutual history.
I’m definitely going to need some help processing this conversation, whatever I decide. Maybe it would be best if I receive the offer about a month before I move away from the area. Although even that’s kind of cynical: they might prefer it with people with whom they can maintain frequent contact. Another thing I’m gonna need to ask them about, I guess.
And I don’t even care for lemon and sugar in my iced tea; no way am I gonna find an Arnold Palmer refreshing.
Spot on. I didn’t read the last paragraph of the OP well enough. :smack:
Assuming I was available, I’d have to think about it. Same as with any other likely opportunity for sex. Option #2.
I think the word you are looking for is adultery. While there certainly is extra martial sex being discussed there is no cheating since there is no dishonesty. Just because it is not your moral cup of tea doesn’t mean you can change it into something it is not. Words have meaning. Although those meanings do shift over time one individual does not get to decide what they mean. I don’t think that is difficult to understand.
No. Way too many rules for my taste, and all the rules protect their relationship but not me. I especially dislike the 4 times limit and the no overnights limit. I don’t want to be someone’s temporary side dish with an expiration date, thanks anyway.
As a straight man I would never sleep with another man, not even a threesome. So I could care less about Sean’s interest in me. I would say it is 50/50, I would sleep with the woman, and or have sex with her while he is watching if that was a fantasy of theirs. I know this sounds terrible.
But no threesome and no sex with Sean. Never been asked this yet, but I have had a woman make an advance towards me even though she clearly told me she had four kids and a military husband.
I would bang her, but nothing more. Threesomes are not my thing. Maybe me and two women.
Yes, but I would take care not to become part of their mutual relationship - a third wheel socially, which may be a bit difficult.