Like many of you (?), I enjoy reading sex-positive web comics, and one of my favorites is the highly-acclaimed “Oh Joy Sex Toy”. It’s witty, informative, and upbeat. I have also enjoyed learning about the creator(*) from this and her other work, and I have a lot of respect for her.
So, in the latest comic “Talking Porn” she explains that she’s thinking about making a porn, and discusses the possible negative reaction to this decision.
**Link (NSFW): **
Reading this one made me feel really weird. Like, queasy-feeling-in-the-pit-of-my –stomach oh-no-she’s-not-really-going-there!? type weird.
Part of the reason I felt troubled by this idea is that I have constructed an image of this artist and her partner and their happy marriage, and have projected myself into that, as I would into a fantasy novel. In this situation, I would feel betrayed if my partner shot a porno (despite the fact that her partner is, apparently, totally fine with it).
Of course, these are real people making their own decisions that have nothing to do with me, but in my life, they are like favorite characters in a story, and so I fret about something that might upset that narrative. (It’s stupid of me to think that way, but I daresay vicariously living through characters, real or fictional, is part of everyday life for most people.)
Now the really hypocritical thing in my first reaction to the comic is that I myself enjoy getting off to porn. And those porn performers are real people giving me something that I want. I really can’t say “this stuff is good for getting off to, but I couldn’t respect anyone who made it.”
But then how far can I remain non-subjective in my reasoning? What If someone close to me said they were thinking of being in a porn? I think I’d be very concerned.
What if one of my kids wanted to be in a porn!? I would be absolutely mortified!
So, this comic has really made me do a lot of thinking. I really hope such a situation wouldn’t lessen my respect for someone, but I wonder how it might change my perception of them.
I’m curious what you all think about this idea.
If someone you respect decided to make a porn flick, how would you react? Would you think less of them?
*Please note, I’ve deliberately left out her name, as she says that if she does make a porn, it’s not what she wants to be known for.)