I’d love to help out, but I don’t have a gun. 
Anybody know how many angels can dance on the hood of a flaming car?
A DUCK!
or is it 42…?
But Shagnasty, by throwing the car into the lake you caused an ecological unbalance, killing an emergent species of fish that secreted an oil that would have cured a rare type of tongue cancer that has developed in over twenty-eight individuals in the past decade!
You monster.
So, if Hitler was 27 years old today (due to alien time travellers or something), then he would be safe from the illness?
I know. I am one of those people suffering from that rare form of tongue cancer. The doctors say I only have 1 - 2 years left to live without treatment. I suppose I just sacrificed my life for that of my child but a heroic act by another may save me and the cycle will continue. Have faith. Have faith.
But what if that child you saved was the one who ended up in the horrible flaming-car-of-death scenario? What then!?!?
(I love you guys. All of you. :D)
Don’t you oppress women, gum, with your patriarchal gaze™! How dare you impose your lusts upon this innocent young woman, thus forcing her to bring suffering into the world! It’s unconscionable!
You should take responsibility for your own oppressive actions and desires. Thus, the only answer is to castrate yourself, thus liberating you both from the white-male-defined exxentialist gender roles.
</Rush Limabaugh’s idea of a “feminist”>
She’ll need to get herself a pair of balls first.
There is plenty of glue… and a Dutch hospital…
I could tell you what I thought I would do in this situation but what good would that do? Odds are that I would actually do something quite different. I rarely know that I’m doing from one moment to the next anyhow. Is that bad?
You know, when you shoot at open fires with the original 20’s style death ray gun the rays interfer with the fire and put it out and at the same time dissolve 60’s sting rays dashboards into warm (but not hot) goo which makes for a nice bed for the sexy naughties lady that convinced Manson and the Hitlet to turn themselves in.
Easy solution 
Sorry, wasn’t thinking.
I’d shoot the kid.
I don’t mean to Great Debate with you, but your decision has absolutely squat to do with acid glue, Hitlets or human cannonballs.
Also, cite?
Was his choice even one of the options?
So what we learned is that the majority of the SDMB would let their kid burn to death because they’d be screaming at the sky, “This is stupid! Baking Soda, Hitler, Blarrgh!”
I’d tell him to close his eyes and shoot him in the skull, if I was sure that there was no chance at all to save him.
Also, if contact with an Acid or Glue Hitler causes tough-to-remove marks on fabric or leather, just apply a little Final Solution™ directly to the stain.
Mmmmmm
Brains!
Yeah, the kid’ll be scarred for life.
I’d close the kid.
Which is not to say that I won’t enjoy rereading this.