Let’s say your employer does not do direct deposit. Every week your boss personally hands you your paycheck. Would you say “thank you” in such a situation? Would you say “thank you” because you felt it was the right and polite thing to do, or because you felt pressured by your boss’ presence?
Personally, I resist the idea that I should say “thank you” in such a situation. It’s a contractual obligation that my company pay me for my time and service, not a present or a mark of their goodwill. Sure, I’m grateful to be getting the money, but at the same time it’s a legally required transaction. I’m not some serf that has to bow and scrape at master’s feet for the mere chance of getting paid my due and I shouldn’t have to feel that way either. At the same time, I feel a little voice saying, “But saying thank you is just polite! What, you think saying so will make you sound like a dog at master’s feet? Yeah right. Is this a matter of pride? Suck it up and just say it!”
I feel like saying “thanks” in that situation is more a polite interaction where you’re saying “thanks for handing this to me” rather than an employee/employer servile “oh, thank you master for the bounty of my paycheck kind sir” but maybe I’m wrong to think there’s a difference?
I would say “Thank you” same as I would if he handed me pricing sheet off the fax or a box of pens. Really more for bringing my check to me than thanking him for the physical check itself.
That’s basically the general argument the other half of my brain was making. Be polite in any situation. You don’t have to truly be sincere 100% of the time.
However, I’m paying a server for their service, so in that situation I would be the equivalent of “the boss giving the paycheck”. I certainly wouldn’t mind my boss saying “thank you” every time I did work for him. I do tell my service workers “thank you”.
To put it another way: If my boss just put our check envelopes in a tray his desk and made us go grab them throughout the day, I probably wouldn’t say “thank you” when I took mine.
Most of the time they just grab the book with the card or money inside since it’s at the end of the table, or I hand it straight to them and tell them if I need change or not. They come back with a “here’s your receipt!” and a cheery smile. I had to think about it since I don’t put any social value on that transaction - I never once thought, “they didn’t say thank you when they took my credit card, how rude”.
I also thought about retail workers and most of the time at tills or on the floor they don’t actually say “thank you” unless they have to say something corporate mandated like “Thank you for shopping at happy fun time store!”
ETA: On second thought, servers will say “thank you” only if I tell them I don’t need change, because in that instance I’m basically personally handing them their tip and they otherwise have nothing left to say. Hmm. Wonder if they don’t like doing that.
Missed the edit window:
I guess the moral of the story is that you’re not demeaning or abasing yourself when you thank your boss for handing you your paycheck. I suppose that if your boss interprets that differently, you need to stop saying it, though.
Yeah, I would say thank you for bringing me the check itself. When I worked jobs where the paychecks were in the main office or wherever and you came and signed your name and took your actual check out of the folder, I didn’t bother with thank you but I’d make pleasant conversation with the office manager while I did so.
Just because there’s a contractual obligation doesn’t meant that “Thank you” isn’t appropriate in the situation. We thank each other for all kinds of things. I thank a bank teller when they hand me cash, even though it was my cash from my account. I thank cashiers and waiters and all kinds of people. I sneeze and a stranger says “God bless” and I say “Thank you.”
Heck, haven’t we all thanked someone for a gift we didn’t even like?
Surely in that context, the lack of a thank you could actually appear rude?
Let’s look at it another way: I do a payroll service for a lot of small businesses. Perhaps as many as 10% of the payrolls we run are done at the last minute because the employer forgot to call in hours until an employee asked for their check. (There are several repeat offenders who do this about once a quarter). Yes, all of those employees had a contractual obligation to receive their checks yesterday, but the reality is that checks won’t be available until tomorrow, and their only real option is to find another job.
And then there are deadbeat employers who make one promise after another and in the end, employees are stuck trying to get six months of wages out of the bankruptcy trustee. (True story).
So, it seems like there is something to be thankful for. Not everyone fulfills their contractual obligations.
I dunno, that’s like saying, “Thanks for being a normal human being”. Here I am waiting in line to checkout. The guy behind me doesn’t push me or try to cut in line. “Thanks for not shoving me and cutting in line. You totally could have, like an asshole would. There are people who do that. But you didn’t. So thanks.”
I’d be thanking everyone the live-long day. Generally I reserve "thank you"s for people going out of their way for me.
But you’re right that it’s only polite. I have a penchant towards sincerity in the face of politeness, and I should probably get over it.
I did have one boss who did have the “thank me!” ego complex. He actually would call you out if you didn’t say “thank you” every time he spoke to you. I asked about that, and he said that we are expected to regularly thank him for hiring us and not laying us off. He had a serious ego problem and basically seemed to want underlings primarily for the purpose of stroking his ego and letting him strut around and say “look at me, I have subordinates! I’m a manager! Aren’t I powerful?” He eventually did lay me off, and didn’t thank me for anything. He also gave quantitative numerical employee assessments for appearance (e.g. you would lose X points for a frayed shirt collar). This was a software development job. There were also no actual technical performance standards - he would change them so that whatever you did was the wrong thing. When I called him to ask for advice before taking action, I was criticized for not being professional enough to work without bothering the manager, who is, after all, very important and very busy. When I took action without calling him, he accused me of being antisocial and rebellious, how dare you take action without calling me! I’m the manager! I make the decisions!
Yeah, I feel like a “Thank you” is deserved even if people haven’t gone out of their way.
At a bare minimum, think of it like Pavlovian conditioning. They do what you want, you give them something nice, but of no actual cost to you.
I actually learned this while negotiating tax complaints against the IRS. There are procedures for everything at the IRS. A + B = C, so if I give agent A and B, and I don’t get C back, then they’ve screwed up. It’s right there in the regulations. So a lot of people take very confrontational attitudes with the IRS and they get what they want because the procedures still define the end result. Hah! They beat the IRS!
But it’s really amazing when you say “Hi. How is your day? Can you help my client? I understand there’s a procedure here and you’ll need A and B. Here’s A. Here’s B. Would you be so kind as you give us C? Thank you so much. You’ve been very helpful.” You get where you want to go so much more quickly and if there’s an actual dispute about the details, it’s amazing how much more flexibility the agents have. In the end, people just like being treated like people.
I would say “thanks!”, just like I’d thank the server who brought me my change after I paid my bill. I’m not thanking him for letting me keep my job, I’m thanking him for doing his job, which is to pay me. Or as was mentioned before, if my boss brought me the pen I needed I’d say “thanks” too
If the boss expects me to thank him because he hasn’t fired me this week, then it’s time I start looking for another job. It wouldn’t make sense to be rude to my current boss until I’ve got the new job lined up, but I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from silently thinking “what an asshole” every time I saw him. I’m not lucky to have a job any more than he is lucky to have me as an employee/direct report. We have a business relationship, I do the work and I get paid. If that arrangement is not satisfactory it can be dissolved at will by either party.
There really are positions where an unofficial job duty is stroking and coddling the boss’s ego, and if you’re not comfortable with that sort of work then you need to find another job. Thankfully I’ve never had to work for that sort of pitiful individual.
Yeah, I think you should get over it. Being polite harms no one, and will make people more likely to want to help you out. It also just makes your day more pleasant. When I interact with people as I go about my business, I smile and am friendly, and I say thank you and excuse me and all that. In return 99% of people are friendly and polite back to me, and if for some reason I need a small favor, they’re generally happy to offer it. I really don’t understand your objection to normal politeness.
I had a boss that would say thank you when he handed you your check.
Until we went with on line pay stubs, I some times would give out the non live checks. I would say thank you as I gave them out. Usually got a think you back.
You could get there early and take two or three. “Thanks!!!”
ETA: For the OP: If it was a secretary or some low-paid clerk handing you your pay check, wouldn’t you say thank you? I would.
My boss personally walks around to hand everyone their check and say thank you. I don’t know any of us who don’t say thanks when receiving them. It’s just polite.
