I see from this BBC story that the male pill is nearly upon us .
So ladies would you trust your man to take it ?
Well, since I am married and my husband can’t remember which drawer his socks are in or where he put his keys, I would say yes, I would trust him–since I would have to remind him every day! However, we just cut out the middle-man to save hassle and let me just take the damn things!
Well, my SO is ‘shooting blanks’, but, yes, I would trust him to take it.
If the mutual decision to not have children or to delay having them is made, then why not trust him if that is the form of contraception the two of you agree upon? Trust is a cornerstone of good relationships, I would assume that trust extends to all aspects, large and small. And, while simply popping a pill may seem like a small thing to wonder about, the consequences of not taking that pill are obviously not.
BTW, thanks for the link, I’d not heard of this before today. Very interesting.
Evilbeth said exactly what I was going to say.
My husband had a vasectomy last fall, though, so we don’t have to worry about it. I know he had the operation, too, because I made the appointment for him, and I waited in the office while it was done. No, I didn’t actually see the operation (I wanted to, but I had to bring the baby we had because he didn’t get the vasectomy when I first wanted him to, and the doctor didn’t want the baby in the room), but I did see his stitches. No guy is going to let anyone put stitches down there unless there’s a real reason to, so I do believe he actually did have the vasectomy.
But he’s going to be really honked off when he hears that there might be a pill he could take…
Basically, what psycat90 said. I trust my SO in all other areas of our life, so why wouldn’t I trust him to take the pill, if it was what we had decided on?
I’m really really glad we don’t have to worry about it any more, though.
Tough one. But I’m a guy so I’ll just play Devils advocate.
The risks with the pill are not so much the responsibility to take it daily, but the potential for someone to not take it intentonally.
Women have on occasion trapped men into having kids by not taking the pill. Women are prone to baby fever, and its a legitimate concern for unscrupulous parts of the population.
Men would be very unlikely to intentionally stop taking birth control, generally we qouldn’t benefit from that since women get primary consideration for custody anyways. It doesn’t make sense for a guy to do that even if he wanted to, however unlikely.
The flipside is that women bear the direct risks of failure to use birth control, so putting men in control might cause them to have less motivation to be exceedingly careful.
The truth of the matter is that its probably best for the couple to use both. But if I was forced to choose one I’d choose the one which had the most margin for error. If the margin for error was equal I’d perfer to place the burden on myself, that way I am in control of my life. But the girls call the final shot on this one.
Hmm. If we were talking about men at random and one night stands, I’d say no, don’t trust us. (Well, maybe trust me, just not them.) If you ask him to wear a condom and he’s all “Nah, don’t worry about it, I’m on the pill”, then obviously don’t take him at his word. But if this is a long term relationship or marriage or something we’re talking about, why shouldn’t a woman trust a guy to take the pill?
Since I got myself “fixed”, I’m another one that it won’t effect. For singles, it sounds like a great idea. I’d take the pill myself, but now men will have the same option.
Should be twice as safe. Couples will have to thrash out the trust issue for themselves. I think the biggest advantage is in allowing men to protect themselves to a much larger extent than is presently possible.
I’m with Evilbeth and Persephone, I’d fully trust him to have every intention of remembering to take his pills, but in practice, I would have to be the one to remind him every day. If only they fortified beer with birth control!
Psst, Beth, how long have ya’ll lived together? We’ve lived together for seven years and he still hasn’t figured out that his socks are always in the top drawer, next to the underwear. Seven years!
Beer is fortified with a contraceptive…
Alcohol causes Brewers droop.
Too much and theres no action for, ahem, “mr. floppy”…
John, so far that hasn’t been a problem for Mr. Tot. In fact, I am fairly sure that is how LittleTot was concieved…
I wouldn’t trust myself, my wife would have to remind me every day (or every time the dose is)
as for the one night standers out their, If a women says she is on the pill - there are some reasons besides sex to be on it i.e. to control her cycle and it doesn’t sound that bad. If a guy you just met wants to have sex and says he’s on the pill- you have to think there is only one reason for him to be on the pill - he has unprotected sex alot to justify him taking the pill- do you want to sleep with this petrii dish.
Personally, yes, because we have 4 children and he is desperately afraid I might decide we need another.
But among the general population, without benefit of a long-term relationship? I don’t think so.
I’m not sure I’d trust any guy to take the pill unless I was in a long term relationship with him that has lasted at least a couple of years, and then I’d have to totally trust him to not use condoms with it also. Knowing me, I’d also be on the pill just in case. I know I’m not ready for kids just yet and don’t think I will be for a long time.
It’s silly to only use only one form of contraception unless you are open to the possibility of a child or STDs. Personally, no way in hell would I trust a fella to be the responcible party. That’s the beauty of The Pill, we get control. But as a just-in-case measure, it couldn’t hurt.
ssskuggiii, i certainly hope you would hold off on trying to have kids for some time, you’ve got plenty. Swiddles, you wouldn’t trust any guy to have that responsibility? What’s that about? Omniscient said it clear enough i believe that women have certainly used it in their opinion sometimes to their own advantage, I for one, would never want to subject myself or my partner to any unnecessary and unforseen responsibilities. I believe a man in a long term/permanent relationship/marriage can be trusted to take the pill. I would do so myself, but that wouldn’t stop me from using a condom. I’m too fearful of what else might happen sans the rain coat in all that rain out there. It’s finally become available, an extra form of birth control, that in addition to other protection, makes it easier and more comfortable for couples to engage in safe sex. Should you question trusting your partner with any responsibility shows you shouldn’t be trusted yourself, nor should you be with your partner if you can’t trust him.
Oh, you can bloody well bet us guy’s will take it!
I agree with Omniscient totally. I can tick off the names of three acquaintances who got pinned into marriage (and one who didn’t get married) because of pregnancies. All the women involved supposedly were on The Pill or The Shot (Depopravarin), all managed to get knocked up despite the (supposed) %99 effectiveness, all (totally coincidentally I’m sure) had been pressing their men for marriage.
I suspect that once a male contraceptive pill becomes widely available the birth rate will plummet incredibly, both inside and outside of marriage.
I would take it and I know I could be trusted to take it. I only really see a use for it within a relationship for all the reasons mentioned already (std’s etc).
I’ve been with a few women who have said " It’s alright I’m on the pill" when condoms where brought out .The stupidness of people still suprizes me .
I believe in the infailablity of any one kind of birth control. And I believe in personal responcibility. I’ve known too many people who have either gotten married too early because of a baby or have had to go through the guilt of getting an abortion too young to screw around with “but he said he took his pill…” As a secondary line of defense, fine. But in the end, it is my responcibility to make sure I don’t get pregant until I am ready.
Just to clarify - I would totally trust my husband to take the pill, I just know from experience that he often forgets to take his medicine. Heck, there’s been many a day when he comes back home five minutes after he’s left for work because he forgot to brush his teeth! If it were in a shot form like Depo-Provera, I’d highly encourage him to take it. As it is, I can’t use oral contraceptives because they do terrible things to my mood.
If I were a single person, I wouldn’t rely on the male pill at all. No way. It would be great if he used it, but until we are in a loving, committed relationship and I could trust him to take responsibility in case of accidental pregnancy, I’d insist on having another form as a back up. Let’s face it, most times it’s the woman left holding the baby.